Just say Yes!

When something captures the right mood on social media it has a lot of power to do good. Most of the youtube channels I find compelling tend to be those with a positive vibe and good energy and this week I’ve found myself hooked on the channel of three guys who met at College in Canada.

The guys from Yes Theory (Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter) have had me laughing, crying, in awe and feeling inspired this week. It wouldn’t be over stating it to say that I’ve probably watched about 3-4 hours of their videos in the past week.

Not only do they travel the world having adventures, they constantly challenge themselves and people they meet to step out of their comfort zones and push themselves to be open to good things in life. These are the guys that challenged Will Smith to bungee jump out of a helicopter over the Grand Canyon for his 50th birthday. They are lucky that this has become their job and they make a living from doing so much fun stuff but it all started when they challenged themselves to do a video every day for 30 days ticking off goals they set for themselves.

It’s got me thinking about doing a version of their 30 day challenge myself. I don’t have the time to do a video a day and I doubt even a week is possible, but I’m going to challenge myself to set 12 goals and do what I can to tick them off one per month in 2020 and make a video of it. Feel free to contribute suggestions. Maybe 20 challenges would be better? Twenty in 2020? One of my challenges should be to make a decision.

Just not there

After last week’s speed dating I matched with three guys. The young 25 year old unsurprisingly hasn’t responded to a text and I’m not sure why he ticked to match with me in the first place. Another guy said he was up to meet for coffee but nothing has happened about that yet.

The third guy and I met for lunch on the weekend and it sounds bad but I’m pretty much ambivalent about seeing him again. He was a nice enough guy but the spark, the chemistry or even a remote interest just was not there.

I’m sure readers out there who have had enough of me whining about being single are tearing their hair out but I’m not going to settle. Conversation was only ok. I don’t think we had a lot of common ground and there just didn’t feel like any spark.

Where do I go from here? Who knows. I will text the other guy who was interested in a coffee but I’m not actually sure we have much in common either. Life goes on.

Fancy a Bushwalk?

Fernando is a model that I’d discussed doing a shoot with vaguely for a long time. We met a few years ago when we were in the same Mardi Gras float. As you can see he’s a good looking man with a seriously ripped body.

A few weeks ago I had a Sunday morning with no plans and I put a call out on Instagram to see if anyone wanted to run around naked for me and Fernando volunteered.

When you are in nature, it makes sense to be nude. The sun is warm on your skin and the air is fresh. Clothes just get in the way. Fernando made the most of the isolation and the beautiful weather and went for a walk, naked. If you want to see Fernando in all his glory, click here and buy the full download.

I enjoyed that

Posing for an artist is something I had done briefly once or twice before but I wanted to do it again and yesterday I did. Artist @frozenvepar arrived and we spent two hours in various poses. It was a great experience. He’s a very talented artist and he made me feel very comfortable.

Interestingly, as comfortable as I am nude it’s a very different experience to stand nude and have someone intently look at your body. It’s not sexual but it’s a bit confronting. It would definitely not be for everyone.

These are just some of the sketches he did over the two hours and he will now use those to do some pieces for an exhibition he is planning. The mermaid image on the end is something he’s become known for. He turns all his models into a mermaid/merman for a bit of fun. To be honest I love the idea of being a merman.

Just calm down

My twitter feed is not a feed I can generally look at in public. I’ve made the mistake of opening it up on the train to work before quickly shutting it down. I follow a lot of porn models on there. I completely understand that porn stars have to project a cocky, confident persona. It’s their business.

There are also a lot of amateur guys I know or follow who do a bit of the same thing. One guy that I’ve photographed, has never done any full frontal photos, but he has a good size cock and it feels like there is a lot of emphasis on the size of his bulge all the time. There is so much talk about the size of his cock and I find it weird. This guy has so much more to offer and I’m sure a lot of the guys showing their stuff on onlyfans do as well.

It frustrates me. I was brought up in a family that values integrity, hard work and being a good person and it just doesn’t sit comfortably with me to be boasting about something that was just luck anyway. The internet isn’t the real world so maybe I should just shut up and enjoy the show.

It was fun

I went to last night’s speed dating with very low expectations. If you go in not expecting much you aren’t likely to be disappointed right? Putting too much pressure on the situation never helps so going to chat to new people and hopefully have a laugh was all I expected.

Over all I met about 20 guys and had a really good time. There were guys I just didn’t have anything much to talk about with and there was no chemistry but with others we shared some good banter and a few laughs even if there was no real romantic or attraction vibe.

We all wore a number on our chest and if we liked someone we ticked their numbered box on our form that we were given. At the end of the night if we both ticked each other, we were sent their phone number in a text later in the evening. To my pleasant surprise I had three matches. One in particular I was very surprised by. He was only 25 and I ticked him because I thought he was interesting, easy to chat to and obviously I found him attractive. I certainly wouldn’t have expected a 25 year old to find me attractive though.

We will see if anything comes of any of the matches. I’ve been chatting to one of the guys over text and we are catching up for a coffee on the weekend. Let’s see what happens.

The need for speed

Back in December last year I had clicked on a Facebook ad and found myself at a gay speed dating event. Nearly 11 months later to the day, I’m about to go to another one. This one is run by a different group and instead of being matched with a selection of the guys (no idea what the criteria was) I believe we get to meet all the guys at the event.

Does that raise the odds of me meeting someone, statistically I guess but in reality who the hell knows. I’ve been complaining about how I’m struggling to meet people so I have to do something to shake it up.

According to the email I received after registering, they are starting with a rose ceremony a la Bachelor where we give someone we want to meet first a rose. That sounds absolutely awkward as hell but let’s see how it pans out.

I will no doubt be messaging a friend live updates throughout the night. Stay tuned kids. I’ll post about the evening and hopefully at least have a few entertaining stories from it.

Next weekend

Not so long ago I posted that I was keen to pose for an artist. The creative process is fascinating to me and it is always fun to see other creative people working and maybe learn a few things along the way.

There is an artist here in Sydney who does some really beautiful illustrative drawings and paintings. We chatted on instagram (@frozenvepar) and next weekend I’ll be posing for him. He seems like a really cool guy and he’s coming to my house which will be great. Being in my own comfortable space while being drawn is a much less intimidating than being in a stranger’s house. Not that I’d really have a problem with that in general.

Part of the appeal of doing this is to try and see myself as other people do. We as insecure human beings are prone to being very critical of ourselves and I’ve thought for a long time that a lot of gay men suffer from body dysmorphia to an extent. Maybe it’s a bit healthy to get a reality check and see what other people see.

I could never

There have been many bad reality tv shows that I’ve enjoyed over the years. As I get older my tolerance for the vapid fools that go on them looking for fame is dwindling. My guilty pleasure of recent years when all the others have fallen by the wayside, is the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise. Only the Australian versions. Who has time to invest in global versions? Not me.

Whenever they bring the family on the veto the candidates or they do the home visits of the final four I can’t help but laugh. My family would firstly probably tie me down before letting me go on a show like that and secondly they would NEVER agree to go on the show themselves.

In the recent series of Bachelor, his family didn’t appear on the show. Instead best friends met the final two and gave feedback. That would be my situation.

The host of the shows here is very active on twitter while they air and he keeps getting asked about an LGBTIQ version. His response is spot on. Until there is a format that will work and not be sensationalist or damaging to the LGBTIQ community it won’t happen here.

The only reality shows I would contemplate going on are Survivor but I’m not a strategic thinker and I’d be booted very quickly. The physical side of it I would love. The other show would be Gogglebox. Put me on a couch with my bestie and a glass of wine and we’d be amazing.

Who are these people?

Yesterday on my personal Instagram account I posted an “Ask me a question” on my stories, with the usual disclaimer asking people not to be dicks. If it worked it didn’t get everyone to stop.

One person asked if they could fuck me, another asked if they could bite my ass gently and another asked if I have sex in public. WTF is wrong with people?

I also asked on my photography account who people wanted me to photograph again. Most replies were great, with legitimate suggestions, but of course someone has asked for nudes of one of my models. I kindly informed him when he said he’d “kill to see” Tom’s junk that he could buy the downloads and see it. Another guy says he messages Tom all the time to ask for x-rated photos. Who does that? If someone won’t send them the first time, don’t ask again.

I don’t think I will ever get over just how rude people can be online while hiding behind a computer or device.

In the meantime I’ll just get more practice at blocking people.

What’s your FANTASY?

This week’s download is the beautiful Chris. I’ve photographed him a few times before but he’s recently got back into escorting and wanted some new images. Who am I to pass up an opportunity like that?

Chris has one of those classic sculpture kind of faces. He’s all cheekbones, chiselled jaw and beautiful lips. Then there is the ridiculous body, sculpted as if from marble.

If you had the money available and wanted to live out a fantasy, Chris, or someone like him is definitely a fantastic option. Someone experienced in the art of fulfilling desires and easing nerves while bringing you to the heights of pleasure.

In this download Chris spends some alone time in a hotel room relaxing and also giving himself some pleasure. Click here to buy FANTASY to see all of the images.

What drives us?

Today on my instagram story I posted that I wanted to go on a date and asked how do I make that happen?

Essentially all the responses have been “organise and orgy”, “Grindr” and answers in that vein. Why are the gays so obsessed with sex. Sure there is a valid argument for making sure there is a sexual chemistry but isn’t there also an argument for just having a conversation, a laugh and a drink with someone?

I get very frustrated with the focus and emphasis on sex. In a conversation about it this evening I said I wanted monogamy and they replied “monogamy is hard.” Sure. So is anything worth having. I’ve seen several relationships die because they spent time looking for random hookups outside the relationship that had they spent it on the relationship, would have been fine. Open relationships can work. It’s not what I want and I’m sick to death of being ridiculed for wanting to give it a try.

People throw the term “Heteronormative” around as a way to criticise monogamy or marriage. I am surrounded by great examples of healthy, happy straight, monogamous relationships and I have no problem with emulating that if their happiness is anything to go by.

All these couples who prioritise sex over real connections, where will they be when their dick stops working?

Worshipping false idols

As a society we have become obsessed with celebrity and if you look at the fandoms of pop stars, NO ONE is allowed to criticise your favourite. It’s kinda terrifying.

With social media giving us more access to our celebrities than ever before, we feel like we know them. One group of celebrities that get a wild amount of fans is that of porn stars. I’ve interacted with porn stars online and in an era when porn makes less and less money, keeping their fans on side is a crucial part of their income.

There is one porn performer that I have known through friends for several years now and every time I see him online, it makes me mad. He was in Sydney a year or so ago and flaked on myself and three other photographers. He’s unprofessional, borderline illiterate and also a bit of a compulsive liar. Every time I see a fan say how amazing he is I want to correct them, but that would just make me look like a bitter asshole.

Sadly I am pretty good at holding a bit of a grudge and I know I should just let it go but he so consistently annoys me that it makes it hard. A friend recently hooked up with him and has a sneaking suspicion he’s been filmed for the porn performer’s onlyfans without permission.

Beware false idols I say. Have your celebrity crushes and those you admire but no one is ever as perfect as they project on social media.

Twenty years later

Twenty years ago today, that was the night that I came out to my parents. It wasn’t my choice with my sister forcing my hand which is something she has apologised for many times over the years.

We were living together and she had known for a month or so and wasn’t coping not being able to talk to Mum and Dad about it. Sadly the only reason we had to both be visiting our parents and tell them was my Dad’s birthday. So yes, on my father’s birthday 20 years ago, after a lovely meal out with family friends to celebrate, I came out.

I had come out to myself and progressively to my friends in the six months leading up to the family announcement and it all went largely without a hitch. It’s a shame I had to do it on my dad’s birthday but these things happen.

To think that it was so very long ago, nearly half my life, is amazing to me. You’d think I’d have managed a few more boyfriends in that time, or maybe one long-term one.

Oh Mr Efron

So, the other day was Zac Efron’s 32nd birthday and I have to say, he’s ageing like a fine wine. Mr Man has compiled a lot of his finest  ASStastic moments to enjoy.

I never saw the High School Musical movies and I think my first viewing of Zac in a movie was in Hairspray. He’s gone on to make a lot of movies since, and I still don’t think I’ve seen many. Baywatch, despite him having a spectacular body just looks too diabolically bad to bother with.

He looks absurd in That Awkward Moment with naked Zac lying across the toilet and I haven’t watched it yet but I have heard good things about him as Ted Bundy in the Netflix Film “Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile” and it looks like he get’s a tanned firm booty out in that one.

In the new season of Bachelorette here in Australia there was a guy who rocked up dressed as a lifesaver because he clearly believed the one drunk chick in a bar who once told him he looked like Zac Efron. Maybe a poor distant cousin with bad dental hygiene but that was it.

Happy belated birthday Zac.