In hindsight

I’ve just had dinner and a lovely catch up with a girl that taught me my limited lessons in trapeze many years ago. We haven’t had a chance to catch up for a couple of years and we covered all sorts of topics. Since she is newly engaged obviously relationships were covered over the course of the evening. Her previous boyfriend is a guy that a lot of people, after they broke up, said that they were only nice to him because she was with him. We also covered my awkward run in with my first boyfriend sixteen years later when I was in Spain this year.

What is it that happens to blind us to some people’s amazingly obvious flaws when we fall for them? Why is it that we can only see what they are like when we are out the other side? My first boyfriend, in my defense, showed a lot of signs of crazy very early on. He wanted to move in together after a couple of weeks and said he loved me after about one more week after that. I know couples where that has played out very successfully but I always knew he was just a short term option. It was only after we broke up that he showed me just how crazy he was. Let’s just say he had a flare for the dramatic, once telling me when he was home alone that all he could hear was the tears echoing around the house.

You know that saying, if you love someone set them free? He didn’t know how that worked. He loved me so wanted to suffocate me by being in every single aspect of my life so of course I ran the other way. In the end I had to threaten him with a restraining order. It was a shame because the crazy ones really do seem to be better in bed. They don’t have hangups and it’s all just an amusement park ride.

And the best man won!

I’ve just sat through about a million hours of the X Factor Australia Grand Finale. It was the outcome I wanted and that was probably expected. A 19 year old guy called Cyrus from my home town of Wollongong won after a stellar performance week after week. He was by far the most commercial of the contestants in the finale and a very deserving winner.

When he was announced as the winner and finally broke free from celebrating family and contestants, he firstly thanked God which put me on edge a little which was unfair. It seems so trite when musicians thank God but then I reminded myself that I have religious friends and this was a kid who has just won his dream chance at life so he was probably just being grateful. He seems like a great, humble and articulate guy and he’s cute as hell. Fingers crossed he does well because I think he deserves it.

After that marathon finale show I think I need a lie down.

A man to watch… a lot

Michael B Jordan is one sexy guy. I have no idea where he first came to my attention but I know he caused some controversy by being cast in the recent disastrous remake of The Fantastic Four because he was black which didn’t sit with a lot of bigots people.

Michael is about to be seen in the new movie Creed, which allegedly is a spin off from Rocky. I’m not really that big a fan of Rocky but I might just go and watch this film because of Mr Jordan. Look at the physique he’s got going on for the film! He’s also got a twinkle in his eye and a killer smile which is always going to guarantee my interest. Allegedly he’s also a fan of a nude beach. I’ve never seen anything that confirms that he is indeed the guy in the nude photo on the beach above, but I’ve also never seen a denial so I’ll take that as a yes and go about hunting down that beach to wait… impatiently.

At 28 this year, Michael will hopefully have a long successful career ahead of him. I love that he’s not afraid of a bold red carpet choice either!

Self absorbed?

On Friday I took a day’s leave from work and went to a photography workshop run by three young photographers. There were some great technical tricks in the workshop but what I wanted to get out of it was tips on how to improve my creativity and make better use of inspiration and challenge myself to take my images further.

One of the things that I got from all three photographers, David Talley, Rob Woodcox and Kiara Rose, as well as a few other photographers is that they’ve all done quite a lot of work in the realm of self portraits. I’ve spoken about doing some self portraits before but never got around to it. So yesterday with some spare time on my hands, out came the tripod and the camera. I was starting simple, using natural light in my house and a photoshop technique to replicate the old wet plate printing techniques of photography pioneers.

While I still find it confronting to look at photos of myself too much, it was an interesting exercise in trying to create good images rather than worrying about whether I look good or not. Taking selfies at the beach, and photos of my bare butt at the beach for instagram is very different to taking a real self portrait. Now that I’ve started simply, let’s see where I can go with it.

Ibiza is all kinds of naked

Dylan Rosser is one of the most successful photographers of the male body around and he’s just launched a kickstarter program to fund his new book. There are a few levels of donation and each one guarantees you a copy of the book Naked Ibiza, filled with stunning men from around the world wearing not a stitch of clothing and with no inhibitions. Looking at the teaser video it seems safe to assume that Ibiza is some kind of magical land that is stunning at every turn and exclusively populated with amazing men with the promise of mighty penises.

Dylan has already surpassed his kickstarter goal of £14,000 in just a matter of of days. The book will be available through Amazon and bookshops at a later date but if you want one sooner rather than later you’d better go along to this page and support the project!

NAKED IBIZA from Dylan Rosser on Vimeo.

A touch more subtlety?

As gay men, we have a reputation for being very sexual beings which isn’t a reputation that is entirely undeserved. Next to most of the nude beaches I’ve ever been to in my life, there is an area where men hook up. Men are more designed for quick sexual encounters than women and we over time have taken advantage of that.

Years ago when I worked out at a different gym in the CBD, it wasn’t uncommon to see guys having sly hookups in the steam room even at 7.30 in the morning. At the gym I’ve been going to for a few years, I’ve never seen anything going on. I’m sure guys check each other out. We are all human after all. This morning though a guy was there who I felt like taking aside for a little chat about subtlety. I was chatting to a mate that I see at the gym most mornings while I got ready to shower after my workout. This guy had just arrived at the gym with his bag over his shoulder. While I was undressing for the shower he was just plain staring at me. No occasional subtle glances, just staring. As I was getting in the shower and about to close my cubicle door I saw him walk naked into the cubicle opposite.

When I opened my cubicle to get my towel and start drying off he was showering opposite me with his door open and still looking. He was still thoroughly soaping himself up even after I’d dressed and was leaving the gym so I’m not sure how long he was in that shower hoping for some fun but this was all before he’d even worked out. Who knows if he was even planning on working out?

Some good inspiration

Last night at circus class I was quite distracted. There was a guy who I had not seen before training in Aerial Straps which is an apparatus I wish I’d discovered as a younger man. Why as a younger man? The straps are an apparatus that are very tough on your shoulders and I don’t think my 42 year old shoulders would cope without a lot of training that I don’t really have the time to devote. It’s a beautiful apparatus to see performed.

The guy that was training last night was, to me, really good and he did some really tough moves and made them look effortless. He was also really hot which was the other distraction. I asked one of the guys at the school who he was and they informed me that he was a straight guy who drops in from time to time. It figures. I only seem to find guys attractive if they are unavailable. This guy is straight, at least 12-15 years younger and rocking hot so that makes him very appealing to me. If I can’t have him, I’ll just watch him train and perform. By the end of my class, he was just in a pair of tights and his t-shirt had come off. It was all a lovely sight.

With my new training program at the gym I’m feeling stronger at class and that translates to being able to do things that I have been struggling with before which then makes me feel more confident as well. This morning I was photographing a model at work and he said “It looks like your new training program is working” which of course made my day. When a model/personal trainer who looks like a Viking tells you you are looking good, that is a great way to start the day.

PS the video below is sadly, not the guy in question but another seriously strong straps artist.

The reluctant Prince

A couple of months ago I posted the photos of Mitch, the sexy beefy straight ginger boy that I photographed as a bit of a reluctant Prince. I always had the intention of recolouring the fabric that Mitch is draped in and yesterday I finally got around to doing that. The tone and colouring of the rest of the image was also tweaked to better suit the mood and I am really happy with the outcome. It was the first time Mitch had done a photo shoot and the poor thing was so nervous. Hopefully it won’t be his last as he’s got a gorgeous face and he’s a lovely guy with a great body. There will be definite pressure to pose for me again.

Shouldn’t be so amazing

This story went around the blogosphere and news sites this week. Everyone is hailing this straight man’s response as a great thing when a gay man gave him his number at a wedding. It was a really lovely response that the straight guy gave but it’s a shame that it’s still such a big deal for a straight man to react well to a gay man hitting on him.

Straight man Chad was sitting at a wedding towards the end of the night when a gay man came over and said ““I just wanted to let you know that I have noticed you all night. I wanted to leave this with you before I left.” then walked off. Chad’s response to the guy is above in his text message. I’ve mistakenly asked straight guys out before and I have to say I’ve been lucky enough to never have had a bad reaction. Should this really be a news story? Maybe if only for the fact that it might give people a bit of reassurance that they won’t be beaten up if the object of their affection isn’t on the same team.

Never understood…

Tonight I came across a tumblr blog of a guy who right there in the name of his blog called himself a “bug chaser”. It’s not a term you hear much these days but it still freaks me out. Bug Chasers are HIV negative guys who actively pursue an HIV infection or “The Gift” as they call it. This guy in his blog bio said that he is “not crazy, not insane. Just taking a less traditional approach. While many try to fight the odds, I have come to terms with the inevitable conclusion and instead chase the Virus. Through the chase I lose the fear and only by embracing it can I be free.”

The talk of infection being inevitable is a concept that I’ve never quite understood. It was only inevitable if you had unprotected sex a lot in the days before PrEP and the very effective HIV medications for positive guys. These days there has to be more to it than that. In my opinion there has to be a very dark psychology at play to still be out there trying to get HIV. Someone on his blog has commented “I love that you’re chasing, it’s so beautiful to give of yourself that way.” To which the blogger replied “That’s why I wanna receive the Gift from the right guy.”  If you meet someone who is truly the right guy they wouldn’t want you to give you a lifetime infection of a disease that may not kill you but can certainly affect your health and wellbeing.

If anyone out there is, or knows a “bug chaser” I’d be really fascinated to talk to them.

Instalicious – Saulo Sarmiento!

If there is a trifecta of dream husband attributes a killer smile, naked tendencies and aerialist skills would be right up there. Of course they aren’t necessary in a husband, although the first two are pretty important, the third is just an awesome, flexible cherry on top. Saulo Sarmiento has all of those attributes and a rocking body to go with it.

Saulo came to my attention when I searched for some nudity related tag on Instagram and I saw one of the two nude photos above. What I wouldn’t give to see some hottie doing amazing acrobatics nude on the beach one day. When someone this talented and sexy pops up in your instagram you start to stalk follow them, obviously. Which is exactly what I did. Then Saulo popped up again yesterday in my instagram feed and I went a-googling and I realised that he is indeed a Cirque-Du-Soleil aerialist performer. He does a stunning act on the Aerial Pole which has now become my obsession and objective to learn. I wonder if he gives private classes? That routine is featured below. Enjoy.

If anyone knows Saulo, tell him I’m here waiting with my camera and/or a wedding proposal.


I hope it changes

In the past couple of years we’ve come to realise that my nephew is very prudish. Even talking about nudity or sex makes him very uncomfortable. He described his younger sister as “crazy” because she gets changed with the door open. He’s nearly 13 years old but hasn’t hit puberty yet, this is just a default setting for him, not a new thing caused by hormones. I was very prudish growing up as well but I think this has come more from his father. Where I have clearly overcome my concerns about being seen nude, my brother in law is very very modest.

I’m not sure what my sister and her husband’s policy is about being seen nude by the kids or seeing the kids nude but they aren’t teaching him that there’s anything wrong with nudity. I hope that he becomes more comfortable with himself. He started at an all boys school this year so maybe at school camps or something there will be rowdy teenage boy nudity or goofing around in that non-sexual way that teenage straight boys do. That last part about being straight is merely an assumption based on statistics. Most of them are going to be straight despite whatever experimentation happens along the way.

It would just be a real shame for my nephew to cling to this uptight nature that he’s got going on at the moment. Let’s wait and see shall we.

Confidence is sexy

How do some people have so much confidence and others of us have so little? I’m sure that for a lot of guys there is a certain amount of “fake it til you make it” going on but others are blessed with a natural self assuredness. Is it because they haven’t had someone treat them like shit and tell them they are worthless? Or is it that when people have treated them badly they haven’t let it get under their skin? I’ve taken things way too hard in the past and it’s affected my confidence and I’m still working on changing that but, even if it’s slow progress it’s better than letting it get worse.

The guy in this video, model Simon Adde clearly has confidence. In the image obsessed world we live in it’s no wonder he seems confidence. Look at him. But this video shows his cockiness. Cocky is very different to arrogance and when done right, it can be damn charming in it’s own right. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go and google mister Adde.

SIMON ADDE from Bashkam Filmz on Vimeo.

The frustration continues

Last weekend I submitted some photos to Dylan Rosser’s website Themaleform. I’ve had one model featured on there before but now, after they turned down the photos of this latest model I’ve photographed three guys for the site with only one successfully making the cut. They didn’t think his look was right for the site which I understand.

My frustration is not with the site at all but rather trying to find guys willing to shoot frontal. I understand people’s reluctance to do it because of the possibility of it hindering work opportunities etc but I’m quite stunned at how few Sydney guys are willing. Surely 99% of guys in this town, full of hot gym obsessed guys, aren’t aspiring to political careers or overwhelmingly shy?

I’m putting the call out. If anyone knows any guys in Sydney or nearby who have a great body and a great look and would be willing to shoot frontal, put them in touch. They don’t have to be gay guys but they have to be ok with being featured nude on a site aimed at gay men.


Sometimes the written word is very easy to misinterpret. Last week’s post about different approaches to sex is a great case in point. The person who inspired it through chats on Scruff feels like I’ve misrepresented myself and him with the post but “loves the post” anyway. Clearly that’s not the case.

Nowhere in the post did I ever intend to be morally superior because I don’t have a lot of casual sex. I do have casual sex but not very often and it’s not from any moral objection at all. It’s because I have zero confidence. When I do go on Scruff or Grindr I’m usually after something quick and uncomplicated like a bit of blow job fun. As the guy has pointed out in his comment, when we started chatting that’s exactly what I was looking for. I dispute his use of the word “desperate” but definitely keen and horny.

The man in question is also disputing my implication that he only has random hookups. That was the impression I got from him and I apologise if I got that wrong but again there was no judgement involved. He had actually said to me that he doesn’t like complications but apparently that doesn’t mean random. It means he has some regular playmates.

To be honest I don’t feel like I owe any clarification as I offered it and he said not to worry but now a week later there is a comment that sounds pissed off and judgemental in return so here is the clarification. I’m not going to slut shame anyone. I’m jealous of people that are more comfortable with casual sex than I am. Go out and have at it I say, just look after yourselves.