A feeling of Euphoria

Jacob Elordi is an Australian actor that I almost shamefully admit I only know from a Netflix teenage Rom Com called the Kissing Booth. He is incredibly tall and very sexy if way too young for me.

I haven’t watched Euphoria yet, the series he stars with Zendaya in, but I feel like I might have to. Apparently this gif is him showing off his considerable wares in the series. God bless this new attitude of modern actors willing to step up to the plate and get their junk out on tv. I had seen a clip of Jacob pretending he’s not looking at a bunch of locker room penises.

Jacob makes the top ten list from this year in Mr Man’s top ten nude scenes of 2019. This is one of those lists I can get behind, or in front of. Head on over to Mr Man to check out all the other guys on their top ten.

Get yourself a SURFER

Growing up near the beach I find something very soothing about the ocean. As terrifying as it can be at times, it’s power and irresistible force is humbling and calming.

Maybe because of all my time on beaches I’ve always found the long, sun bleached hair of a cliched surfer boy very very sexy. So when I got the chance to photograph Sam, even though he doesn’t actually surf, it was a surfer vibe, contemplating the ocean that I really wanted to shoot.

SURFER is the new download available from my online shop. If you want to see all of Sam in his naked, surfer boy glory, click here to buy the full download. He is such a nice guy, I’m thinking we might have to collaborate again.

A little self awareness

My boss is a fit woman. She is a short, strong, German cross-fitter and this week she somehow convinced a work colleague to sign up for a ten day trial at her crossfit box. Side note, Crossfit just auto-corrected to crossfire and I feel like that is appropriate.

This colleague is totally lacking in self awareness. She’s made BOLD claims about her skills in the past but hasn’t proven herself when it comes to the crunch regarding those skills. She goes to the gym a few times per week but I don’t think she works very hard and she claims to eat really healthy but that is about 1-2 meals out of the week. The rest of the time she’s eating burgers and fries and other similar stuff.

So she walked in to the Crossfit box last week and said to my boss’ coach “My fitness is pretty good. I go to the gym a lot.” She is in her early 20’s and is a very curvy hourglass figure. Not obese but definitely carrying too much weight. She said her fitness is good to a woman who is 50, competes in the Crossfit open games and has a six pack. Needless to say, she struggled a lot, but then announced at work that she did really well. According to my boss, she did about a quarter of the workout.

I say good on her for giving it a go. We will have to wait and see whether she sticks with it but she needs a little more self awareness. That environment is intimidating so maybe she’s doing it as a bit of bravado but I’d be walking in there saying “treat me like a novice, please don’t kill me.” Crossfit is scary. It’s also dangerous to say you can do something when you can’t.

Running out of steam

It’s that time of year. We’ve all worked hard for the entire year and the holiday season, whatever you celebrate, is nearly here. If you are like me, you are lucky to have an office that shuts down for two weeks and spend some time at the beach.

Our office has hit the last few weeks and you can tell people are running out of steam and are ready for a break. The conversations are getting hilarious in the down times, filters have been dropped and parties are ready to be had.

I was lucky this year to have a fantastic holiday to Europe to break up the year. It cost me a lot of money but I consider it an investment. Travel is good for the soul.

Last summer I didn’t really get to spend as much time at the beach as I wanted, my weekends were too full. Fingers crossed I get some time naked in the sun with friends this summer.

The times have changed

In this post #metoo era men have been forced to reevaluate their behaviour and for some guys that has been really confronting. Some refuse to admit there is a problem but thankfully there are a lot of guys who are very much aware of bad behaviour and want no part of it.

On the weekend I was officiating at a wedding and all the guests were there early because there had been another jewish ceremony that precedes the wedding a couple of hours earlier. So this big group of people had been there for a couple of hours catching up and socialising. Most of them were about the age of 30 and I have to say I saw some great modern male behaviour.

All of the guys were giving each other big genuine hugs when they saw each other. None of this uptight side hug bullshit. Back when I was a member of the surf life saving club my mates and I would shake hands every time we saw each other in that old school posturing kind of way which always felt oddly formal to me.

If you are a good friend of mine, you’ll get a hug and probably a kiss hello and goodbye. Sure, people like my very traditional brother in law don’t get hugs but that’s fine. Not everyone is comfortable with hugs from other guys and I get it but watching all these straight guys on the weekend being very comfortable in their masculinity was fantastic.

Out of the blue

There was a brief moment today when for no reason that I can think of, I had a flashback to a man who I had a ridiculous crush on many years ago. This happened around 1995 and it was the first time I acknowledged that I was feeling attracted to a guy. That’s four years before I experimented sexually with a guy, came out to myself and ultimately came out to my family.

He was about as cliched “my type” as you can get and a more typical boy next door you will never find. Blonde hair, athletic body in a tight bonds t-shirt and tanned skin. He had blue eyes and a big beautiful smile too. I’m pretty certain his name was Ken and he was a carpenter friend of the guys who owned the business I was working for. He came to our office to re-do the front reception area. It made no sense to a young Brenton who thought he was straight that I was looking at this guy the way I was. It was the first time I knew I wasn’t just looking because I wanted to have a body like his or some other false reason to be looking. I found him devastatingly attractive.

Who knows why he popped into my head today. I work in an office building and there was no one around who reminded me of him. There weren’t even any carpenters around. I wonder whatever happened to him?

The gif of Chris Hemsworth is just for illustrative purposes. He wasn’t actually Chris Hemsworth obviously but you get the vibe.

So very daunting

When someone suggested that I make my 100th download a series of self portraits it gave me a nudge to do something that I’ve always wanted to do. Today I started that process. Fuck me. It’s so daunting.

Not only is the physical process quite challenging setting up a camera and working out focus and framing etc then using the timer and getting in the shot and being in the right pose, but I’m finding it really emotionally challenging.

It’s no secret that I have a rather tortured relationship with my body and my body image but exploring that in photos as well as trying to take decent photos is incredibly hard.

The project won’t all be tortured “I hate my body” stuff I promise. There are ideas forming for all sorts of shoots and vibes. It’s the time and extra effort that will be tough but fingers crossed it will be therapeutic.

Last of the year

Today I performed the last wedding of the year. The wedding today was an unusual one for me in that I barely had to do anything during the actual ceremony.

A lot of we wedding celebrants become celebrants to do the wedding for friends. It happens all the time. Considering the time and money that goes into it, a lot of us continue doing it for a while. The wedding couple today had a friend doing exactly that. Unfortunately due to timing she wasn’t qualified in time so she couldn’t legally do the ceremony.

That’s where I came in. I did the paperwork and the little legally required parts of the ceremony and she did all the fun parts. I have to say she did a great job. The crowd was a great one and I know they are going to be having a great party. They were all primed and ready to go and in the mood.

Now, I only have three weddings booked next year at this stage so I need to update website etc and get some new business in. Time to advertise in the nudist magazines too I think.

A lifetime deal

Mr Man is a website that I’ve shared some content from a few times lately and they have just launched their Lifetime Membership deal! The site is full of male nudity from celebrities, in movies and just in general.

The Lifetime offer will be live through the end of the year. The Lifetime offer is for $99 and gives you access to all the fleshy goodness. The gif below is a good example of some of the content on the site. It’s from a Norwegian short film called the “Anti Reproductive Mating Ritual” and I have to say it looks as unusual as you might expect. I know I’m going to have to find the movie to have a look.

So head on over to Mr Man and sign up! When you subscribe to Mr Man you also get a free subscription to Falcon and TitanMen!

Rock a bye baby!

Growing up I always thought I’d do the traditional thing and get married and have kids. I always thought I’d be a good dad. Then when I came out at 25 it seemed like all that was taken off the table. Gay marriage wasn’t legal and gay men using surrogates just wasn’t a thing 20 years ago. Not to the extent it is now anyway.

Now times have changed a lot. There are options for gay men that want to have kids but that ship has definitely sailed for me. I’m too old, too single and definitely not in a financial position to have kids. To be honest my life is great the way it is and I can’t even imagine having a dog at this point. My niece and nephew are amazing and now in their mid/late teens we can have really good conversations, go on adventures and have a great laugh and there is no financial responsibility for them.

Last night some friends of mine (a straight couple) had their first child after years of trying and eventually using IVF. Mother and baby are happy and healthy. I can’t wait to meet the little one and when I got the message this morning I was at the gym and got teary having seen the struggles and then the sickness and tiredness etc that goes with pregnancy and knowing how much they were both looking forward to the baby.

My clucky nature makes a comeback when I get to hold a beautiful Bub but as soon as it needs a change or it starts screaming, that novelty wears off.

So damned cool

Kylie Minogue isn’t everyone’s favourite, I know that. I’ve copped a lot of teasing over the years about how much I love her but I don’t care. It’s not a blind faith kinda thing where I refuse to believe she’s ever done anything wrong. There have been some looks/songs/things where I’ve gone WTF? The vast majority of the time though, she’s just awesome.

For her Glastonbury “Legends” set this year at the renowned festival she performed her killer track “Slow” mashed up with David Bowie’s “Fashion” and by god does it work. She performed the mashup over the weekend on Graham Norton in a suitably 80’s inspired outfit.

Now, we just need her to release a new album sometime soon. Thanks Kylie.

Dripped in gold

The day I photographed Shon which resulted in the Cocooned download also resulted in a second set of images which are now available as the download “Dripped”.

For this one I let gold paint find it’s own way down the beautiful lines of Shon’s body. It caressed his pecs, his abs, traced a line straight down to his butt crack and wherever it pleased. Shon isn’t an enormous body builder of a man but his body is just beautiful and the gold paint just highlights all those beautiful lines.

I’m planning a duo shoot with he and Chris from the recent Fantasy download. I’m sure that will be a very beautiful and probably very sensual shoot with those two gorgeous men together.

In the meantime, if you want to see a lot more of Shon, click here and buy the new DIPPED download!

Welcome back

Some very good friends of mine left Sydney in 2004 for a good job opportunity and since leaving they have lived in two different countries a very long way away from here. One of them works very high up in the finance land and I didn’t think we’d ever get them back to Sydney as the salaries just wouldn’t be comparable. Luckily, I was wrong.

Last month they moved back. They decided that 15 years away from family and friends was enough and they will do what they need to make it work back here. Last night we went out for dinner to celebrate one of their birthdays and we had such a good night.

It’s always a relief but not really a surprise when you see someone you know really well after a long time and it’s as if no time has passed at all. Along with many laughs last night there was a lot of yummy food consumed and several drinks so I was a little dehydrated this morning when I woke up but there are no regrets at all.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, good friends are good for the soul.

Isn’t it exhausting?

With the advent of Onlyfans and Justforfans, it seems like half the world is delving into the world of amateur porn and I have full respect for the people willing to put themselves out there like that. I’m a fan of pics and videos while having sex but it’s not my priority. The actual event is the priority. Sometimes I like to take pics etc just to prove that I have had some action this year.

There are two things for certain, if you are running an onlyfans page of yourself and your exploits you are one, having a lot more sex than I am and two, you have a lot more time on your hands to chase people to record with, record it and edit it. Way too exhausting for me.

I have some questions though. Like making any passion a career or money making exercise, does it take some of the fun out of it having to hustle so much? As they say, a bad blow job is still a blow job but man, sometimes there must be times where you are sick or exhausted and just can’t be bothered jerking off for the camera but to keep your subscribers happy, you just have to.

Keep up the hard work guys. It’s always fun to admire your handywork.

Don’t comment

This blog has been going for 14 years now and while it’s readership has diminished greatly since it’s heyday I still come across people who read it or have read it in the past. Over those 14 years I’ve shared and probably overshared details of my life. With that comes the fact that people who are strangers or relatively unknown to me form opinions on my life and how I live it which is perfectly fine. The statement “Other people’s opinions of me are none of my business” is how I try and operate but that can be tough.

It becomes impossible when people feel the need to give me their opinion. Last night I had a comment from someone I barely know, on a post on my photography instagram page. The comment was on a photo that I’m very pleased with and it just said “This is why you’re single B” followed by a patronising love heart emoji as if the commenter hadn’t just touched on a sensitive topic that I don’t want his opinion on. Nor did the comment have anything to do with my photo.

The only two options I could see in the context and content of the comment were that firstly, he thought that maybe I expect to meet and date someone who looks like my models. Those guys are all 10 – 20 years younger than me and way hotter. No. I’ll be very happy with a regular Joe just like me thank you. Alternatively he may have been suggesting that my photography may intimidate potential romantic partners. Does he think I should abandon a passion of mine that I think I have some decent talent for? This isn’t Disney. I’m not changing everything I am to please a man. I’d be happier alone than giving up all my loves.

This comment came from someone who like me had been single and I suspect lonely for quite a while but a couple of years ago started seeing someone. Immediately he became part of the smug “I’m validated because I have a partner” crowd. I genuinely hope he is happy but I don’t need his advice because he doesn’t have any insider knowledge on my life or the reason I’m single.