Winding down

I have three more days of work left before we close for Christmas and I have to say I can’t wait. While I haven’t had a bad year, it’s been a long one without a real break.

Today I got most of my work deadlines out the door so the rest of the week will be a bit more relaxed if all goes to plan. While my two week break won’t be super lazy it will be all social and fun stuff.

In the mix is a circus class or two in my new apparatus which is awesome even if it does hurt and exhaust me. That seems to be the norm with circus stuff. If it doesn’t hurt it’s probably not going to impress an audience.

I’ll also be heading to a city in Australia that I have never been to for New Year’s Eve to see some friends I haven’t caught up with properly since I went to Bali 2.5 years ago. That’s bad!

In amongst all that I hope to hit the beach dressed in my usual swimwear attire, absolutely nothing, as well as a planned nude camping trip with some mates. So yes, I’ll be running around a lot but it will be a lot of fun.

Splash!

Early this year I met Aaron through some mates of mine. At the time he wasn’t living in Australia but in that time he’s made a lot of changes in his life and one of those was to do a fundraising trip around Australia.

A few weeks back that brought him here to Sydney for a couple of days and since he’d done a shoot with me back at the start of Winter, we decided that it was a great opportunity for another one. So this time we found a nice little secluded beach and headed there early in the morning.

The lighting was beautiful and at one point the waves crashed in to the rocks and created a huge splash right where Aaron was standing. Hence the name of the download. If you want to get Splash, which is the 51st download to be released just click here.

That was exhausting, but fun

Some weekends just leave you feeling like you need another one. This was one of those for me. For the vast majority of it for very good reasons.

On Friday we had our work Christmas party and it was a lot of fun and not a late night but I didn’t sleep well because I knew I had to get up early. After a restless night I got up at 6am and not long after was on the road. I had a quick coffee with my parents at their place an hour away then headed further south where some friends of mine have just bought a new investment. There were a bunch of us staying down there to check the new place out and catch up, drink wine, laugh and swim in the river. So much fun.

Another terrible night’s sleep last night however on a blow up camping mattress meant getting up at 5.30 was even more rude this morning. I had to be at a course here in Sydney at 9.30 so it was another early start for the drive home.

After the course it was back home to relax and partake in the fun of an adult nature with some company. That is something I really don’t do enough of for various reasons but hopefully todays gentleman caller might end up a bit of a friends with benefits situation. God knows it was fun.

Tomorrow it’s back to work for the last work week of the year! Hopefully it will slip past quickly and then it’s time for relaxing!

One or the other?

If you want to be a successful “influencer” on social media then it’s all about consistency. Of your regular posting and your “brand” ie. your image. Is the same true if you want to be a successful dating option?

A friend posted something on twitter that at first read, really pissed me off. He said “Maybe stop posting about how you want a relationship and how woe is you when your Grindr profile is all about taking random dick.” He’s since clarified that it’s the whining about finding a man he thinks is shit but at the time I thought it was a common theme that I’ve heard from gay men before. 

There seems to be a judgement of people like me who want a monogamous relationship but are (unlike me sadly) having lots of casual sex in the meantime while they wait for Mr Right. It’s like someone criticising you for looking at cakes in a patisserie window when you are really looking for a main meal. What’s the harm? Is it off-brand for someone wanting monogamy to have some actual fun or are we supposed to sit around not having sex at all so that when we do find Mr Right we can barely remember what to do?

Getting Graphic

It’s no secret that over the years I’ve been frustrated at the lack of bravery in the Sydney boys I’ve photographed. Something has changed in the past couple of years though and I’m finding more and more guys willing to go frontal. As you’ve seen I’m even finding guys willing to get hard and sexual.

The idea of shooting actual sex, anal penetration, full oral and maybe even some kink has been playing on my mind for a while but I didn’t know how I was going to do it and still keep it creative, interesting and more than porn. Well, now I have an idea and I think it will work well but I need the guys.

For the idea I have I want it to go pretty wild, past anal. I want it to go from simple duo nudes, to erections, oral, anal and then on to some watersports and fisting. Why? Just because. I think the way I want to do it will look really good. I’m sure fetish and sex can look quite beautiful as well as sexy as hell.

Finding the two guys willing to go there will be the challenge. It’s a lot to ask of people and as with all shoots I have a relatively specific look in mind. Partly because of the way I want to visually treat the images I want fairly clean cut looking guys. Let’s see how I go.

An even balance

It’s always nice when your perceptions of the world are shaken up a bit for the better. That’s what happened to me on Saturday.

The guy I photographed on Saturday is doing his PhD. In exactly what I can’t remember but I know it has to do with HIV and the sexual behaviour of men around it. Obviously doing something like a PhD means a lot of research and one of the things he mentioned to me that he’d learnt in that research was that there is a pretty much 50/50 split between monogamous and non-monogamous relationships in the gay world. 

That really surprised me because the gay world feels to me like it celebrates non-monogamy and open relationships and even cheating sometimes over monogamy. It can seem like that is the ideal and monogamy is too “hetero-normative” to be attractive.

I’m not sure where this leaves me given I still don’t seem to have any luck with finding a date, let alone a monogamous partner but I guess it does raise my odds of finding someone who wants monogamy.

Just how big?

We all know the world of hookup apps are a breeding ground (pardon the pun) for some exaggeration. The other night on Scruff there was a guy in my area I was chatting to and his profile said “Hung XL” and over the course of the chat he sent some photos. Maybe I watch too much porn but if someone says Hung XL I kinda expect to see something porn-esque. 

I asked him how big he was and he said 7.5-8 inches. Now don’t get me wrong I am not calling him small. According to some articles the average penis is 5.5 inches so he’s ahead of the game there but when I hear XL I am thinking 9-10. Am I deluded there?

It’s interesting that there are so many different perceptions of the same thing. I’ve known guys that think they are small when they most certainly are not. The gay world does celebrate the bigger guys, as does the world in general but especially we gay men. We celebrate amazing bodies that are partly genetic luck along with a lot of hard work but celebrating things that we have no control over seems unfair but a very typical human trait.

Just today I was talking to another nudie on Instagram who seems to be quite self conscious about the size of his equipment even though we both agree there is nothing you can do about it.

In my Apartment

David is a young French man living here in Australia. He happened to be in Sydney and was keen to do a shoot. We didn’t have many opportunities to make it happen so one slightly overcast Saturday afternoon he came to my apartment and we made do with the lighting situation that we had.

There is a cheekiness to David and a glint in his eye that says he is up to mischief. That is the sort of thing that makes a photo shoot fun. Hearing the stories of him partying all night the night before the shoot was a laugh as well. It’s stories like that which make me feel old. He’s in his 20’s and making the most of it.

“Apartment” is download number 50 and it’s out now! You can click here to go to my shop and get it along with all the other downloads. There is also a page on the site to buy limited edition prints as well!

Thank you, Next!

It has been said, by someone I can’t remember who, that it’s better to regret the things you’ve done than the things you haven’t and that was my approach last night going to the Speed Dating event.

As usual I was early and grabbed a drink and sat to watch who arrived. A short while later I was sending a text message to friends “one guy looks like a backpacking nerd who has stopped by after a hike. Another looks like a Persian rug salesman with a toupee.” It turns out I wasn’t far wrong with the Persian Rug salesman line. He actually was Persian (his words since it’s now called Iran) and he was wearing a ridiculous rug on his head. Actually a nice enough guy but we had nothing in common.

I had 7 “dates” over the 2 hours and had a decent chat with all the guys. One guy who thankfully I wasn’t matched with was completely drunk when he arrived and was trying to kiss all his dates.

Did I meet the love of my life? Not even close. Did I have fun? Absolutely. You never know how these things will go if you don’t try.

Bumpy times

We have now reached the time of the year when we start to reflect on the year that was. The compilations are starting to come out for the best songs, movies, memes, twitter posts and all the other bests for the year. It’s also a time for reflection on a personal level.

Right now I’m on the periphery of scenarios that could see friendships and friendship-circles fall apart. A couple of friends have had incredibly bad years and it’s all playing out right now. It’s not clear at all whether a couple of the friendships will survive at all and I’m at a complete loss as to whether or not I can help the situation.

I guess all I can do is be the best friend I can be to those that need me and do the very best I can to stay out of the treacherous waters swirling. In the past it’s not been a strength of mine to step back and think about things before weighing in. An email sent in the heat of the moment was a speciality of mine a few years back but these days I don’t have the energy, especially when it’s not my fight.

At this end of the year it feels like a lot of people are tired and need a break. Some time in the sun here in Australia, or by a fire for those of you in the top half of the globe, preferably nude for all concerned.

Two choices

For the past couple of months most of my Saturday nights have either been at home relaxing or out of town at my friends’ property. This Saturday night is going to be different.

There is a group here in Sydney that hosts semi-regular orgies and this Saturday night they are having one in a “big new venue” and since I hadn’t had much action lately I was going to break the drought with a flood and throw myself in the mix. I’d RSVP’d and was trying not to listen to my nerves. Going to an organised orgy of about 60+ men is a daunting thing for someone that doesn’t do that kind of thing at all regularly.

Then today, perusing Facebook as one does a link popped up to a speed dating event. Sure, at 45 I’m at the top end of the age bracket that they allow but I thought “Why not?” I think the event page said that each person meets 8 different guys and has 15 minutes with each. There is also the perk of unlimited drinks so even if it’s not going well I can self-medicate with a few drinks and have a laugh.

When you think about it, they aren’t THAT different. One is sexual speed dating and the other is a celibate orgy. It’s probably for the best. The orgy was supposed to til midnight and I have to be up at about 6am on Sunday to pick up a model for a shoot anyway. Let’s see what Saturday brings shall we? Anyone been speed dating before?

It’s all about Blue Skies

The benefit of having been “working” in photography for nearly 15 years now is that I have a catalogue of work that represents what I do and it definitely helps me talk to models and help them decide whether to work with me or not.

A few years ago I came across an image of a guy called Kyle on a networking site. Through following each other on Instagram we worked out that we had some opportunities to work together. One of those opportunities popped up a few weeks ago and we did two shoots in one day. The first shoot “Blue Skies” is now available from my shop!

Kyle has a bunch of tattoos now in an ever increasing collection that he didn’t have when I first came across his images but they really suit him and they certainly weren’t a problem for the shoots we did. They are fairly simple shoots, no fancy concepts here. One we did down at the nude beach and one was him in a bed. Both locations suit him down to the ground and he looks comfortable and beautiful nude. To be fair he could be just about anywhere and his infectious smile would brighten up the location.

Head on over to my shop now to buy “Blue Skies” or any of the other downloads that are available.

I hope he’s ok

We’ve all been in dating situations that are doomed but whether we can see that or not, we dive in head first and fall hard for the other person.

A friend of mine entered one of those situations earlier this year and it didn’t work out and he’s really struggling to let go. The other guy just wasn’t in a position to give him what he wants. Essentially they are at very different stages of their gay stories. One has been out for half his life and is ready for a serious relationship and wants monogamy. The other has only been out for a handful of years and is really not ready for that.

Neither guy has done anything wrong and while one of them might feel a bit wronged he’s just hurt that it didn’t work out. We’ve all been there. I’ve definitely fallen hard for guys that weren’t interested, weren’t emotionally in a place to be in a relationship or just weren’t right for me. It hurts. Fingers crossed my mate will be able to let go soon and move on.

Slowing it down

It’s probably fair to say that I’ve done more photography this year than I have in all the previous years combined and I’ve loved it. The response to the downloads has been amazing and it’s very nice for my hobby to be paying it’s own way instead of costing me a lot more than it brings in.

Having said that, releasing a download a week on top of a full time job and being a wedding celebrant is getting pretty exhausting so I have decided that the pace will slow down a little next year. It will still likely be at least one per fortnight and depending on what I have ready to go there may still be some periods where it is weekly. But I wouldn’t bank on it.

Who knows. After a couple of weeks break over the Holiday season I may change my mind and keep up the weekly pace. I do love doing photography and photographing beautiful nude men is hardly a chore.

Probably not

The new(ish) feature on Instagram where you can have your followers ask questions is both fun and dangerous. On Sunday I let followers throw some questions my way on my photography account but not before stipulating that they couldn’t just ask for dick shots of my models. That’s not happening.

One of the people said they would love to see more body size diversity in my shoots. To be honest it’s probably not going to happen in the way they most likely meant. Most of my models are quite athletic and have various amounts of muscle. Not all of them have six packs but they aren’t exactly soft by any stretch of the imagination.

I photographed all sorts of body shapes in the My People My Tribe series and I still believe that everyone can look beautiful in a nude photo but my photography isn’t so much about bringing out the beauty in the average person. It’s about using someone beautiful to create beautiful images and I don’t really believe that is something I should apologise for. Each artist has their niche and in an ever increasingly politically correct world the danger of offending people for not being inclusive enough of other types is a real one. If he were around today Picasso would probably be hounded on social media for not being inclusive of women whose facial features were in the right place.

There are actually quite a few photographers out there celebrating the sexy aspects of the “every man” and I’m content to leave that up to them. In the meantime I’ll keep photographing the men that I choose. If I wanted to shoot regular guys I’d do self portraits.