The topic of a threeway relationship has come up with people I’ve met recently a couple of times, especially over the weekend on the cruise. There was a couple on the cruise that I spent a lot of time hanging out with and one of the guys had been “kind of” in a threeway relationship in the past, as had another friend of mine, a few years back.
I’ve never been in a regular long term relationship so I’m no expert and I’m very keen to hear the experiences of readers who are in or have been in a three way relationship. To my inexperienced eye, most of them come from a third being invited into an established relationship and so far to my knowledge it’s that third that usually ends up hurt or dumped from the experience.
The couple I was hanging out with and I got on very well and hypothetically, instigated from the past experience of one of them, discussed the practicalities of the situation. I personally doubt could ever enter into a threeway relationship with an established couple. I’ve never heard of a long term threeway lasting, so it’s a self preservation exercise, stopping myself getting hurt. Secondly, as a hopeless romantic, no matter how much I desired the other two and felt a bond, I would feel absolutely horrendous if my entering the picture caused any kind of jealousy or tension within the original couple.
Having been single for a long time, I’ve had several threesomes with couples over the years and as the “guest” you are treated to an amazing level of attention and often are attracted to one more than the other. I can’t see the point in entering a situation so prone to jealousy. If any of you are in a three way relationship, please tell me your story.
Last night was one of those unexpected surprise nights that is all good. Tonight the year ends and hopefully continues the way last night did. I was on facebook and randomly chatted to a guy that I have never slept with but always found attractive, despite being 15 years his senior. I honestly didn’t think I was ever going to see him again due to a career change for him, some of his personal issues etc but was pleasantly surprised when dinner was mentioned and we organised for him to come over for dinner and catch up.
A nice meal, two bottles of wine, a good chat on the roof terrace and before we know it we are kissing and then he spent the night and some great sex was had. He had admitted that he’s a bit rubbish at keeping in touch and I thought there might be some awkwardness between us stemming from a conversation some months ago, but it was all good and I said, unless there’s been a big falling out then I don’t let good people just disappear from my life. Sex with him will probably never happen again and I’m fine with that, I wasn’t expecting it last night, but he’s a really nice guy, and I won’t let him lose touch.
It’s also rare for me to relax and let spontaneous sex like that just happen without getting all nervous. I hope it’s a turning point for a new attitude.
One commenter on yesterdays post about escorting and our predisposition to judge asked if I could date someone that had been an escort and the answer is yes. Very few people enter a relationship with no sexual history, and an escort just has more of a history than I do (lucky bastard) and probably a lot more tricks up his sleeve that would make life interesting in the bedroom (or kitchen, backyard or wherever).
They also asked if I would date someone that was still escorting and that answer is a definitive no. Not out of any judgement or disapproval but purely because I’m a totally monogamous kind of guy and even though it’s sex without emotion it’s still sex outside the relationship which I won’t accept.
I am going to be doing an interview with one of my friends who escorted several years ago to answer many questions on the issue. So if you have any questions you want answered, post them in the comments!
A few times over the past 12 months and again last night I’ve found out that people I know have or are working as escorts. Be it either by chance or for financial reasons and some starting at quite a young (legal) age.
Each and every time my first response is still, even though I like to think of myself as a liberally minded individual, that it’s wrong. Then I sit and give it some rational thought and realise it’s only because we are brought up to think of things like porn, stripping and escorting as a bad decision that must be made out of very negative circumstances.
When I think about it even more, my reaction is probably borne out of jealousy more than anything. I have developed insecurities and hangups over the last few years around sex that I am envious of the freedom. My lack of confidence means I’m occasionally nervous about shagging people I find genuinely attractive for free, let alone people I don’t just because there’s money involved.
Murphy and his bloody law has struck again today. Last night my flatmate and I went out and had a really fun night but at some point the vodka fairy took aim and gave me a swift kick to the head leaving me sore and sorry and slow moving today. My flatmate was out for most of the day and I was feeling frisky so jumped online to try and find some fun of an adult nature.
I don’t do a lot of hooking up and my efforts to jump back on the slut bus have been woeful at best. Surprisingly I found someone in the mood, and after the same kinda fun as me, nothing experimental or avant garde, just plain old fashioned casual fucking. He was supposed to come over at 3. Then he messaged saying he was waiting on a labourer to come and put up some blinds and they were running late, could we make it 5? Sure I said. 4.00 and I hadn’t had an update. Soon after a message came to my phone saying he couldn’t make it after all.
So, here we are at 5pm on Sunday afternoon on a cloudy day in Sydney and I’m going to have to resort to my usual bit of self gratification before I go for dinner with a friend to a neighbour’s place.
It’s long accepted that there is a man-drought in Sydney. People that want to date, can never find a man. The straight girls think all the men are gay, the gay men think all the men are straight and both camps agree that all the good ones are taken.
Never fear, being the detective that I am, I’ve gotten to the bottom of this dilemma and hopefully now we’ll come up with some preventative measures or perhaps legislation to combat the problem.
The lesbians are stealing the men. I hear the sceptics and nay-sayers from here all tut-tutting this absurd theory, but it’s true! Two of the lesbians I know are both currently shagging men, one of them making a detour to sample some pre-op tranny cock on the way to her current male shag. The other one is even now calling her shag “boyfriend”. I think it’s outrageous! There’s barely enough cock to go around all the people that really like it as it is, let alone with these part-timers and wannabe’s squatting on valuable real estate.
How would they feel if we started snatching up all the vaginas, so to speak? They’d be disgusted and you wouldn’t walk outside for fear of a carefully aimed birkenstock hitting you in the head, thrown from a passing motorbike!
Please note: all stories contained within are true, moral outrage is highly sarcastic. At least someone’s getting some cock.
Last night I took myself off to the gay sauna (bathouse) for some anonymous casual sex. I haven’t had any sex in months and I could feel my mojo dying a slow and boring death due to lack of interest. The longer I went, the less I felt like it. So last night was an attempt to jump start it again and see if it really is a case of the more you have the more you want. Here’s hoping. I had some fun. There weren’t a lot of guys there that were my type, but it was crowded so there were lots of men having lots of fun. I found a fun 23 year old who seemed to appreciate my moves and we sorted each other out nicely!
Tonight is date number three with Irishman and we are doing sleep over. I’m so nervous. I don’t know why really but it’s been a while since I’ve felt like this so I’m taking that as a good thing. There probably won’t be a blow by blow report, so to speak, so don’t ask, but if all goes well, then I’m hoping to see lots of this guy. He’s a sweetheart.
The wheels seem to be falling off my slut bus! I haven’t managed any action since Byron Bay and now my chat-site-of-choice is playing up and I can’t even search. I keep getting error messages and lock-outs. My right hand is getting bored with my company, there’s no chemistry anymore, we just don’t connect like we used to. My left hand just isn’t interested either. I’m getting very frustrated in all senses of the word.
I’ve not long walked in the door from an evening at the sauna or bathouse to you in the U.S. It wasn’t the most successful trip ever with more than a couple of guys not taking the hint easily that I wasn’t interested. Just because we are all there for random casual sex, doesn’t mean we all find each other attractive!
The favourite of the night has reaffirmed why I enjoyed Barcelona so much 7 years ago. Oh lordy the Spanish are a passionate lot aren’t they? He was a little pocket rocket. Not particularly tall but had a stocky hot body and a fire in his loins. No, not in a burning, needs a doctor kinda way.
I’m kinda enjoying the slutty phase right now. Let’s see how long it lasts. I know I still want more but it’s nice to relieve the pressure, so to speak.
Over the last couple of years I’ve been like a weary traveller stuck in an airport clinging wildly to my baggage refusing to just accept that I’m stuck in transit and have fun. SO in an attempt to divest myself of excess baggage and stop looking for my white picket home, I’m catching the bus.
Namely the slut bus to whoretown. I think my problem with the scene in sydney is, yes the attitude, but also that I’m jealous of everyone’s outward confidence and ability to put themselves out and about either sexually or just in general. I haven’t had the confidence to do either for a while. I’m trying to reclaim my inner slut and just get some damned action which apparently is harder than it seems. My slut bus seems to be hell bent on breaking down or is busy ferrying the special needs kids to school. I’m determined to keep trying though.
I was online tonight and ran into someone I know through the mardi gras parade and he laughed that my profile said versatile. Insinuating in a very derogatory tone that he knows that I’m a big bottom. If I were, I’d happily admit it. He came to this conclusion because I have several photos of my butt on my profile “and other reasons” which he wouldn’t clarify. Now I don’t care if people do think I’m a bottom. That’s an assumption lots of people have made over the years. In my younger days, apparently blonde and slim visually translates to insatiable bottom. What I was upset about was the tone that being a bottom was lesser somehow than being a top. Why do we do that? Tops would be nowhere without the bottoms that some of them seem to look down on psychologically as much as physically.
On Sunday night I got to bed around midnight after the punk gig and promptly passed out, curled up in my bed. When I woke up I saw that I’d missed a text message at 1 am. Now I’m a friendly guy, and can be quite accommodating but every now and then you see something and just think, really? Are you serious?
The text message was from a number that I didn’t have in my phone but given the nature of the message was probably someone I’d “met” some other time but must have deleted the number. It said “I’m so horny right now. Wish I could have you here fucking me so hard you force me to beg for more.”
Even if I knew who it was, I wouldn’t be getting up at 1 am and going to help the poor frustrated chap out. It’s nice to know they think I’m talented at what I do/once did to them and I’m flattered, but no thanks.
Tonight has disappeared from my grasp but in a good way. I got home and pottered around before I ended up shagging a guy that I’ve been chatting to online. It makes a welcome change from my usual release, alone. Now I find it’s 9pm and I’m running out of night to get stuff done, but I’m happy.
The last couple of nights has seen me being very frisky with no outlet for action. I’ve spent time online looking for local boys to play with but to no avail. On the rare occasions I’m really in the mood to get down and dirty with someone, there isn’t anyone around.
Tonight I was going to head to a sauna/bathouse for some horny action with complete strangers even after I was recognised by three readers of Aussielicious last time I went, one of whom gave me a glowing review in the comments here… we like that. It’s been about 6 months since I was there last and I haven’t had a lot of action since and even less of it much good. But today, in Sydney’s scorching weather, the last thing I feel like doing is getting stuck to a vinyl wipe clean mattress in a sweaty dingy gay sauna. I’m not in the least bit horny today. Oh well… another time.
This post is in response to someone I saw online last night. I was on a gay chat site and I came across a profile of a very hot young 26 year old guy in the U.S. He had two lines on his profile “Looking for BB mates, Looking to convert.” I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night worrying about someone I’ve never met and the mindset that makes them want to convert.
Before I logged out of the site I sent him a message asking why he would want to convert to HIV+.
It turns out he reads this blog and recognised me. His response was that basically he loves BB sex. There was no more explanation so I can just assume that he figures if he’s Poz then he won’t have to worry any more. Firstly, anyone who is Poz and knowingly infects you, regardless of your permission, is committing a criminal offence and can be jailed. Secondly, HIV and AIDS can still kill. While the medications are keeping people alive and healthy for a very long time these days, the cost of medication in the US is ridiculously high, every medication has a side effect.You may be able to go to bareback parties and go crazy but then you open yourself up to cross infection.
I’m begging you Nick, reconsider. Sex with a condom is still very hot. Why jeopardise your futre for a few minutes of fun? Any HIV+ readers, please comment and reason with Nick. Any comments promoting bareback sex and HIV conversion will be deleted immediately.
