Last night was an education for me. It was the farewell party for my trapeze teacher who is off to Europe for 10 weeks. We started at a nearby pub with a very mixed crowd but then 5 of us headed to the Sly Fox, the nearby Dyke Bar. The three teachers from my aerial school are dykes from 23 to 35 and I have to say listening to them changed a whole lot of ideas.
The stereotypical view of lesbians is that they move in and live happily ever after in monogamy town for life while we gay boys are supposedly out fucking everything that moves. Two of the girls are in relationships that are pretty rocky and the single one has had two disfunctional monogamous relationships and they were all kissing other people last night who were not their girlfriends, and two of them pashed each other. So much for the U-haul and the beagle.
The ACT (Australian Capital Territory) has just had a quiet but landmark civil union by a homosexual couple. New laws allow same sex partnerships to recognise civil ceremonies but sadly the ceremony still isn’t legally binding. The identity of the couple hasn’t been made public but they have been together for 25 years. I love that stuff! Congratulations to the men.
My previous post about good versus evil got me thinking about why we like bad boys. The dark character in that video was the one that always appealed to me more.
Boys with an edge are so sexy for some reason. Tattoos used to be the domain of bad boys but now that just about every second queen has one it’s lost its effect a bit. Is that why tattoos are getting bigger? Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt’s character in Fight Club, to me represents the idea perfectly, that every one of us has a bad boy inside, it’s just a matter of how far down they are buried. Falcon porn studio has made decades of films and millions of dollars out of wholesome boys next door getting down and dirty and living our fantasies out for us when we might be scared to ourselves.
Do nice guys really finish last? I’ve met loads of really sweet guys, but if there isn’t any kind of edge to them, no matter how small, I lose interest. For me, the trick is finding a nice guy who’s got an edge that he’s willing to show me, without that edge cutting me.
My head is a little sore this morning from a few beers last night at a friend’s housewarming. So this morning all I feel like is a good strong coffee but cruel fate being what it is, I’ve run out. I’m about to duck out to the shops and get some more. I don’ like the caffeine in my blood stream to get too low. It’s just not a pretty thing.
It seems I’ve infected a couple more of my friends with the Love Ebola. I don’t know if this one will last but they do seem to enjoy each other’s company. There were a few nice guys there last night but for some reason the vast majority of them smoked!
Following the Californian court ruling to overturn the ban on gay marriage I just saw this on Ellen and it made me get a bit teary with happiness. Ellen seems like such an amazing person. All the very best to Ellen and Portia.
All men suck, it’s official, and not in the good way. Last night was date #5 with Mr Tall. Easy conversation, good cuddles, lots of laughs, but as my fairy tales post suggested, I didn’t quite know where I stood. Mixed messages abounded. We’d had two sleep over dates but no shagging which while a little frustrating, I thought was quite sweet.
Last night he explained why he’d been a bit stand off-ish, and it’s ranking right up there as one of the top reasons for not dating me. Apparently I remind him too much physically of the guy that left his sister at 8 months pregnant never to be seen again. Um what? Someone hurt your sister and I remind you of him physically so you can’t date me? Did I forget to mention this psychologically damaging even happened FOURTEEN years ago?!?! Would it be wrong to suggest therapy for trust and commitment issues?
When it comes to relationships and the politics of dating I’m absolutely useless, especially if reading between the lines is necessary. I like the fairy story kinda deal, Princess is in an awkward predicament she probably could fathom a way out off, Prince rides up, says “I’ll save you because I love you”, does exactly what he says and then rides off into the sunset with his beloved knowing exactly where she stands, or sits, or bounces up and down.
My fairy story seems to be written by someone working with codes for the Nazis in WW2. I’m having to read between the lines and when that happens Snow white doesn’t get woken by a kiss from her Prince, the Prince instead shows all the body language of wanting to kiss her and even talks about waking her with a kiss but somehow, despite making eyes at her, thinks he might have to think about the pros and cons a bit more and get the dwarves to watch over her a bit longer.
In these times where Christian fundamentalism and religious bigotry are leaving their mark, I think it’s very important that shows like Grey’s Anatomy and Brothers and Sisters are showing regular guys, being gay and god forbid even kissing. I think the conservative parts of America and Australia and other countries around the world need to see stuff like this to prove that gay men are everywhere, and in every walk of life. And personally, even though this is scripted television, I’m a sucker for a romance.
I’d heard about this from reading blogs but just watched this report in full. It’s so sad that people still use the word “sissy” and trot out that old line, it’s Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve. The fact that the woman called the Emergency Services hotline because two guys were kissing shows remarkable ignorance and bigotry but I guess on a positive note it shows that Baltimore was having a quiet crime day. Perhaps the most disturbing part for me was the guy who said he believes in carrying a gun and that people should be “put down”.
Yesterday was a public holiday in Australia and I managed to achieve a lot of stuff that I’ve been putting off, like cleaning and washing. Today, the sun is out and I’m in a great mood.
I might go and harass some friends for a coffee or something a bit later. I’m enjoying Madonna’s new album as I write this (it’s really good) and at four o’clock I’m off to my pole dancing class where finally we are putting a routine together. I’ll see if I can get a video of some of the cool stuff.
Then, I’ve got a date tonight. It’s kind of a second date. I won’t be posting details, so feel free to make up your own version of events in your heads. Unless of course he turns out to be a total nutbag and go loony on me. Then I’ll be posting details of his craziness, as I’ve donebefore.
KEVIN Rudd has been presented with his first major challenge on gay law reform from within his own party, with ACT Chief Minister Jon Stanhope challenging him to allow gay and lesbian civil unions in the territory.
Mr Stanhope said the Prime Minister - a self-described social conservative - should allow the move, arguing that if Mr Rudd could demand China respect the human rights of Tibetans he should defend the rights of his own citizens at home.
The wedding I went to yesterday was one of the nicest and most simple I’ve been to in a long time. There were about 50 guests maximum, the bride looked relaxed and happy, the groom, my old school mate, was having a great time and it’s so nice to see two people who really do seem to compliment each other beautifully.
One of the girls from school was saying that her mother is going to be a registered marriage celebrant and was asking her if she and her partner, another woman, were ever going to get married. That started the discussion about whether or not it’s worth doing while it’s not legally recognised. I’ve never seen the point in gay people having a traditional faith based service but I’m all for standing up in front of my friends and making a committment. One day, if Mr Right ever happens along, all my friends and family will find themselves at a huge bbq and we’ll surprise them with an exchanging of rings. That’s how I see it. What would you do?
It’s Friday afternoon here in Australia and I’m about to head to a school mate’s wedding. I don’t know when this trend of Friday weddings started but I like it, only partly because I get an afternoon off work. Weddings are bittersweet for me. I love the joy, hope and love that is in the air but it also brings it home to me that I don’t have anyone to marry and as yet in this country, it’s still not legal for me to marry who I want.
This video is from a German soap and unlike the American gay soap characters, these guys get to kiss. So far in Australian television, we’ve never really had a prominent gay couple. I wonder how long it will be?
It’s funny, writing this blog I think I’m giving a fair representation of myself. There are elements I will leave out for privacy reasons and others so I don’t bore you to death.
I had an email while I was away, that I’ve just read, from a reader “Tom” who said that I was going to have to get out of the scene before I meet anyone and that it seems like I’m quite wrapped up in the gay scene. I’m actually surprised by that statement as my friends are always trying to get me out on the scene more. I don’t feel comfortable in the gay scene all that much so rarely venture into the more popular gay bars. Sure I’m doing pole dancing at a gay bar with gay men and most of my close friends that I see regularly are gay but that is actually a big change for me from a couple of years ago when most of my close friends were straight couples.
It’s fascinating that people can get such a different impression of me from my blog than I think I’m giving and different to what I think is accurate.
We’ve all done it. We’ve met someone and after just a few brief meetings you entertain all sorts of ideas of candlelit dinners, Labradors and happily ever afters all before you’ve even had a decent conversation.
Is it the idea that they represent that you are smitten with, or is it that they genuinely tick off a lot of the boxes on your list? Maybe it’s a combination of both, but then what happens if you don’t get a chance to decide? There’s someone you meet that you’d love the chance to get to know, as friends, co-parent to a Labrador or just someone to catch up with for the odd coffee. Sadly, despite them having the means and knowledge to get in touch, they don’t seem inclined to do so. While you justify their lack of contact by imagining they’ve lost their fingers in a tragic cheese grater incident, the truth could well be that they just aren’t that into you.
Do you just let it go the way of my twin fantasy and be put away in the file of “wouldn’t it be nice?”
