Aussielicious

This post is a follow up to a recent post about some dodgy nude behaviour on a Perth nudist beach and at a Bali gay resort. The man who told me the story tried to post a comment on the post but it wouldn’t work, so I said I would post it as a post in it’s own right.

I am the person Brenton wrote about who had the Perth incident.

It’s really comforting to read that everyone shares Brenton’s view on the two situations he wrote about. I was actually troubled by the question of whether or not this is becoming the ‘new accepted normality’.

I have questioned whether or not to report it and have decided not to because:

1: I was not penetrated or physically forced into an act I was unable to stop. After a few seconds of delayed shock reaction, I pushed him away and stopped the act. It was a blow job – sure, an extremely unwelcome one – but still, just a blow job.

2: Because in my head it was not a violent or extreme personal violation, I fear reporting it to the police may lead to compromising of the nude beach in Perth. I would hate us to lose it due to police or even media attention over something that in my eyes lies very low on the sexual offences list.

I love going to the nude beach and will continue to do so. I go there because I feel very comfortable with my nudity and do not go there for sexual gratification. I very much enjoy it when polite, decent strangers feel comfortable enough to come over and chat with me naked without any sexual contact. Sure, they may be sussing out if I’d like to do something, but being comfortable enough to come and talk without expecting something is a very cool thing in my book.

Trust me, if the incident was more severe, I’d be reporting it. But I’m old enough and mature enough to write this off in my head as an unpleasant isolated experience that will not cause me long term problems.

If you’re on the nude beach in Perth and you see a skinny white guy listening to his iPod, feel free to come and say hi. I’ll still be going! :)

Another blog reader commented on the facebook feed of this post. “Wow! I must admit I think the same guy has harassed me down at the same beach before. Last I saw of him though some detectives had followed him down to the beach & I haven’t seen him since. Thank God! It’s people like him that give us all a bad name.”

It seems that as a community we often wonder why we have a bad reputation for promiscuous and over the top behaviour. Some of that reputation may well be justified.

A friend was telling me he was at the nude beach in Perth the other day and putting sunscreen on his face, eyes closed, when he felt someone touching him, looked down and a gentleman was sucking him off, right there on the beach, not in the dunes, no eye contact signals, no welcomed approach, just gulped him down. When my friend shoved him off and told him to get lost, the “gentleman” told him it wasn’t his fault my friend was uptight.

Uptight? Seriously? That is downright blatant sexual assault. How on earth is my friend being uptight?

Two other friends, a couple, have just had a holiday in Asia and at one point stayed at a clothing optional gay resort. One night the two of them were in their villa, nude, just chatting and relaxing when in walks the owner of the resort. No knock on the door and no “do you mind if I come in?” He proceeded to stay and make conversation for 45 minutes, my friends too polite and stunned to ask him to leave.

Are we so focused on getting our rocks off that basic courtesy, or even law, doesn’t come into the equation just because opportunity gave a knock? It’s a select few trouble makers, as in any demographic, that earn a bad reputation and undo all the progress we’ve been making.

At times my mother has a tendency to be a little conservative, especially when I came out. She doesn’t understand why anyone would want to sleep nude and she asked me why the men I photograph have to be naked.

There are times when we make each other laugh a lot and have a great time together. She has a wicked sense of humour which pops up quite regularly when gift giving. Shortly before Christmas mum asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said to her jokingly, “what’s the point? I asked for a unicycle lots of times as a kid and never got one.” What did I get this Christmas at the age of 38? The unicycle I’d always asked for. Sure it was 25 years later than planned but hey, I love it. I may break myself trying to learn how to ride it but that’s half the fun.

A while back I posted about a rumour I’d heard that someone was starting a chain of clothing optional gyms. Some of you expressed concern about hygiene. To be honest, it should be no different to a regular gym. You have to work out with a towel on the equipment already so it will be no less safe.

Well I can now report a bit more information. I’ve been in touch with the guy who is opening the gyms. They are men only gyms as he felt like women had women only space but we don’t so it was a gap in the market. I haven’t had any full details yet whether it will be clothing optional times or separate clothed and nude areas.

What I do know is that the website will be up early in the new year and gyms are already close to opening in New York, London and here in Australia. I can’t wait. It will be interesting to see what the market will be like and the public response but I do know that I’ll be giving it a go!

The nude version of the Kiwi All Blacks rugby team, the Nude Blacks, have had a lot of coverage on the internet for their naked rugby playing, and this is a good video of their Haka. The Haka is a traditional Maori intimidation ritual designed to scare opponents off.

As much as I love the idea of sports being played nude, I do question the logic in playing winter sports, in cold locations like New Zealand, in the nude. I know there’s lots of running around, but damn, it’s got to be uncomfortable.

Tonight on a “serious current affairs” program I saw a story being promoted for tomorrow night about some people who were fed up with the wild shenanigans of their neighbours. From the footage I saw I’d be annoyed by constant partying too but the line that the “serious current affairs” program kept using was the fact that the couple were disgusted and deeply disturbed by the nudity.

That’s right those disgusting people kept taking their clothes off. God forbid that people do a cheeky nudie run from the pool to the house, or a girl takes her bikini top off. Maybe we should suggest to them that if they can’t beat them, join them. Go on cranky neighbours, take your gear off and streak their party. See what they say.

Now before I get lectured on polite social behaviour, I’m not (entirely) serious. Noisy partying neighbours constantly would drive me mental too, but to cry on a national “serious current affairs” program? Call the police. It’s pretty simple. I am serious however at the ludicrousness of being deeply offended and disturbed by the sight of healthy attractive people comfortable in being nude, even if it is for a laugh. I often wonder if these people shower with a blindfold and gloves on.

Now I don’t know how old these photos are but they almost make planking cool again. I know I posted about nude planking recently but these photos just keep turning up. It appears that planking isn’t just a solo sport, it can be played in teams or trios, even face to face. There are usually onlookers present so it is a sport for the exhibitionist or not shy.

My favourite is definitely the guy planking nude INSIDE a full fish tank (below). Absolute gold.

Update: Link to the second image is now fixed.

Today I heard from someone I know that someone already has council approval to open a clothing optional gym in Sydney and has already started construction of a clothing optional gym in Melbourne.

As long term readers would know I love the idea of working out nude. A lot of people commented on my friend’s facebook post about it that it was unhygienic and unsanitary, but I would argue that yes, there are no clothes to catch the sweat where it might normally catch it, but we should all be working out on a towel anyway so that argument isn’t that valid.

Someone else countered that it would end up like a gay sauna. I doubt it somehow. In a clothing optional environment the staff would be extra vigilant about keeping an eye out and I don’t think the genuine nudists who would use the facility would be in it for that. They might enjoy the exhibitionist element but I doubt there would be a bunch of people trying to get it on over a cross trainer.

I genuinely hope it happens and it’s located somewhere I can conveniently use it.

 Loading ...

Remember when planking was really cool for about 5 minutes a couple of months ago? That was until people started losing their jobs and falling off buildings and moving cars doing it. There are a few hardy souls that have kept it a bit interesting for me.

These guys are all doing it nude! I’m still trying to work out why hot fit guys won’t even nude up in the gym change room but they will for a photo in public doing something daft? Not complaining, just curious.

Every year images do the rounds of twenty and thirty-somethings competing in a nude race set up in Roskilde Music Festival. The race I believe is sponsored by a radio station and certainly gets some media coverage. Well now it seems that the nudity is expanding. They are now having naked fun boxing matches with enormous novelty boxing gloves. It looks like these guys are taking it pretty seriously despite the huge gloves and the public nudity, but that’s testosterone for you. Men tend to get competitive at this kind of thing. I wonder how much other nudity there is at Roskilde?

I love the idea of exhibitionism, but I’m not very brave. This guy, apparently is very brave. This video is over six minutes of him stripping in the street, standing on a public bench, jumping up and down and oiling up his smooth nude muscled body. Then he takes his oiled up hotness for a walk through the streets. Love it.

The Fremont Parade was on again recently and as usual, hoards of brave souls got their clothes off and most of them painted their bodies up for the parade in Seattle. The parade originally started to celebrate the Summer Solstice. The theory is that the first person to do it nude may have done so as a dare and crashed the parade.

Unlike the World Naked Bike Ride, this is a non-political event run by the Fremont Arts Council. Some people go to a lot of trouble with their body painting and some participants do it every year. The guy second from the left, above, seems to manage different ideas every year.

It seems the Kiwis don’t have a monopoly on playing nude rugby! The Italians have been at it for a few years too. You want proof? Watch this video. I love that it’s just like any regular game of rugby, just nude. There’s no hesitation about tackling and no self consciousness in front of the crowd. In fact they even run into the crowd at the end and just socialise with everyone, nude.

Let’s have more of it I say!

Thanks to a reader who sent me the link to this video. Tonight’s streaking is brought to you by Rich, who seems to be a relatively shy streaker. He spends more time loitering in his doorway waiting for no one to be around. Not to worry though. That gives us plenty of time to admire his perky buns and big muscled shoulders.

A recent article sent to me by several of my friends (can’t imagine why) argues the likelihood that we’ll ever see our sporting competitions regularly undertaken nude. One young man is rowing across the Indian Ocean and doing it nude, there are routinely nude rugby matches in New Zealand these days and I’d hazard a guess that it is far from unheard of to see drunken sporting teams having a rowdy nude match.

The term gymnos that gymnasium and gymnastics are derived from literally means to exercise nude and we all know that in the Ancient (original and the best?) version of the Olympics were competed nude. As I’ve discussed on here before there are some sports that to be done nude would be probably a bad idea, but lots of them would be great. Surely tv audiences would be up?