Aussielicious

Some of the internet based porn companies like Corbin Fisher etc seem to be dipping their toe in the bareback pool these days. I saw a comment about a hot porn model where the commenter said “XXXXXXXXX is hot, but seeing as he is working with Corbin Fisher, I think he will probably bareback, which sucks…” Now I’ve seen this porn model on another modelling networking site and he says he is straight, which means he does gay-for-pay porn.

Just how far will guys go to make a living? As much as I have an exhibitionist streak that remains relatively unexplored most of the time, I would never have the guts to do porn. Nor would I risk my health for the sake of a bit more money. To be honest I think it’s very irresponsible of the studios to allow their models to take risks with their health, no matter how informed. I would be willing to put money on the fact that risks are played down to convince the guys to do it. Do the gay-for-pay guys really understand the dangers?

If you do the maths, there are hundreds of guys regularly working in the gay porn industry in the U.S. alone. There is a large incidence of HIV in the U.S. and these guys are willing to risk infecting their girlfriends and themselves to make a living? I just don’t understand. Maybe I’m not educated enough and maybe the studios are taking other precautions to keep their models safe. Do they sero-sort their models and only let the poz guys bareback with other poz guys? I am sceptical.

News broke this week of a man in Berlin who has been cured of HIV. He was suffering from Leukaemia and had a very intensive treatment of chemotherapy, total body irradiation and bone marrow transplant which, by chance, also cured his HIV.

Doctors are quite surprised by the result but are very reluctant to offer up a miracle saying that this treatment is too dangerous to be offered widely to a broad spectrum of HIV Patients. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if it did offer a breakthrough that did lead to a widely plausible cure?

On the eve of World AIDS Day here in Sydney, Bono turned on the lights to flood our Sydney Opera House and Harbour Bridge in Red to commemorate the day which is a sad day and a hopeful day. Sad because we pause to remember all the people we’ve lost to AIDS and the millions living with it.

A recent article here in Australian news suggests we might have a cure in a few years time, others believe we won’t see one in our lifetime. Either way, the best protection is to play safe! Thankfully, while I know people living healthy lives with HIV, I’ve never lost anyone close to the virus, yet I’m constantly stunned and outraged by people’s careless disregard for their own health, courting infection with sexual inclinations that will inevitably lead to conversion not seeing it as a big deal.

A reader sent me an email about experiences he’d had with dating and relationships as an HIV negative man in a relationship with HIV+ men. It’s an interesting eye opener that negative guys probably don’t give thought to, the concerns of the poz guys about possibly infecting someone.

All the talk of young guys almost wanting to become HIV+ lately has left me a little jaded wondering if there is anyone with any real self respect out there now. I just had a coffee date with someone who works in the medical profession who told me that one in five gay men in Sydney is now HIV+. That terrifies the hell out of me. So, while it was terribly sad to read of another infection, the story below, from Brad, on his reaction to the news gave me some hope that not everyone is blasé about it.

Sitting in the doctor’s office after class a few weeks ago, I had a sense of what was coming. I had blood drawn a week prior and got the call that my doctor needed to talk to me about the results of my blood work. A thousand cups of coffee couldn’t have gotten my blood going any more than it was that day. When I got into the room and had my doctor sitting in front of me, I thought the veins around my temples would explode. He ran down a list of other sexual transmitted diseases, and at the end of the list he looked me in the eyes. I was told that I’m HIV positive. My body shook, uncontrollably. I imagined all the blood running out of my face. He offered me time to get my thoughts together. I turned him down and asked for a smoke instead. He obliged but only if I promised to come right back. That’s what hit me the hardest: his concern. I thought about his worry that I might not come back or that I could possibly hurt myself, that the severity of this diagnosis worries someone so much that they can hardly let you leave their sight for a smoke.

I walked outside, a friend was with me and before I could say a word, I looked into his eyes and broke down. A ton of bricks came crashing down square on my shoulders and I wanted to disappear – and to think this was only five minutes into the disease. I had a rather normal gay boy’s life growing up; there was my time with drugs and depression, I was beaten up a few times, and safe sex practices were preached to me like the Bible. But at this moment I couldn’t help thinking about how even in the queer community we sometimes make it pretty rough for each other. Gay guys don’t always get along with lesbians and we sometimes laugh at the transgender community. The men and women affected by HIV/AIDS are outcasts to us. I know because I’ve treated them that way myself. I used to think that these people had dug their own graves and played a losing game with the devil; that their problems were their own doing.

Suddenly, standing outside the doctor’s office, I realized my world had changed. The reality of living with HIV might be very different from what I had in my head that moment. I know there have been medical advances. I know that compared to only ten or fifteen years ago, the disease has become somewhat manageable. And I know people can live full lives being HIV positive. But all that doesn’t change my fears. It’s hard for me to separate the reality from what my mind has turned into reality.

The last few weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion and I’ve started to learn that I need to throw out all the prejudices I’ve harbored. What makes me any better than anyone else? I’m just a twenty-four year old college student living in Seattle. But more importantly, who knows what tomorrow brings, good or bad. The only thing I can concentrate on now is my health and my friends and family. 
The weight of those crashing bricks from just a few weeks ago has eased away a little. I’ve come to terms with many of my misconceptions. A calmness has set in. When my mother died in 2003 I got a tattoo of her initials on my left wrist to remember the love I have for her and the pain of losing her. A few days after my diagnosis I decided to get another tattoo: the outline of a plus sign on my right wrist. My tattoo of my mom’s initials is a constant reminder of love and pain, and to take advantage of the time we have and the people we love. I feel the same way about the new tattoo. I guess you could say I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve.

This was a comment on my post two days ago about barebacking and the apparent desire of some people to catch HIV or the complete nonchalant attitude if they do. After a brief text conversation with a friend of mine who has been out less than a year and is involved with someone who says “condoms are for whores” I’m more determined to get this message out. Thank you Max for your honesty and openness.

As someone who is hiv+ I can honestly say that I don’t understand it either. I can say that my status is the unfortunate result of trusting someone who deceived and lied. Because my status has was the result of my choice being taken away, I’ve strived to be honest about my status both online and in person. I wouldn’t wish anyone to have this. I’ve been hit on by those bug chasers and I still don’t understand why they do it. They seem to think they know what the risk is but they don’t. Even if they think they do it is all cerebral and the theory of getting hiv isn’t the same as the reality of living with hiv. They don’t to have a concept of what it does to their health, how quickly your body even with treatment becomes susceptible. I’m 29, in the almost 5 years I’ve had this I’ve had to get vaccination upon vaccination and I hate needles. Once I tested positive, I was reported to the CDC. You’re tested every 3 months to check your cell count. I’m always afraid that the next test will come back that I’m no longer undetectable because it means more meds (I already take 6 a day) or that it’s mutated and is no longer controllable with meds. The meds they put you on affect your body in almost everything from cholesterol to diabetes to weight loss/gain. The meds I’m taking cost almost $3000 a month, thankfully I have ADAP which takes care of the costs since I lost my job and insurance. Once I lost my insurance, I went to a state funded clinic to go to which isn’t the type of care I would recommend. There was no emergency help unless you went to a real hospital and the people working there are paid by the state so they don’t care about you as a person. At least I was able to find a much, much better option in the Aids Healthcare Foundation. I, thankfully, haven’t been seriously ill in all that time but there is increased risks of pneumonia, cancer, Alzheimer’s , and dementia. There’s also the risk of being allergic to some of the meds which if you are allergic to one it either knocks out that whole category of meds or you’ll have to live with chemical rashes, skin problems, and a host of other problems. I haven’t had a date, at least one that has ended soon after I was honest about my status, in years. Most guys online would hardly give you the time of day if you’re honest with your status too. So think about that, other than my friends, it’s a serious stigma to try and meet someone even with all the medical advancements.

None of those chasers understands what it’s like to live with it. Those who would give it to others are even worse. They know what it’s like to live with it and should not make any effort to purposely infect others. While barebacking does feel good, is it honestly worth a quick lay to put your future health and happiness at risk? It’s called protection for a reason and if that isn’t reason enough, think of it this way using condoms increases the length of time you get to spend in the bedroom too.

On the weekend I stumbled upon a profile on a hookup site that made me sad, angry and log off. It was a 22 year old guy that calls himself “cumdump” and has “never” listed under safe sex. If he’s not HIV Positive now then it’s only a matter of time.

Once again I wonder if being diagnosed HIV+ makes them think “what the hell” and get into bareback sex, which is entirely their own choice. The alternative to that question that upsets me and terrifies me is that he just doesn’t care if he gets it or not. Sure, HIV is very treatable but it is not curable and every single treatment takes it’s toll on your body and in places where treatment isn’t subsidised, your finances. It can restrict your career options, your travel and will almost certainly shorten your lifespan.

I wholeheartedly support anyone living with HIV and know and love several guys living positive, but why anyone would intentionally seek to convert? Sadly there is a tiny element out there that will happily help him achieve that result. I hope he learns to appreciate his health before it’s too late.

Please not that the photos used are by no means a statement about the models status.

George Duroy, creator of Bel Ami and no doubtedly very rich man, has given a very interesting interview discussing things such as HIV and the future of porn. Given the internet rumours swirling a couple of weeks ago about Bel Ami going bareback, George offers his perspective on that topic.

Bel Ami started doing bareback films a while ago. Some would call this irresponsible for encouraging viewers to do it, others would point out it takes risks with the health of the models and others don’t care—they just like it. What do you think about the various reactions to barebacking in porn, and what precautions does Bel Ami take on bareback sets?

I guess we’ve released no more than twelve to fourteen condom-free episodes in all these years. But this question requires a more elaborate answer, even though I have tried to explain my position many times with negligible effect. But let’s try it again:

Bel Ami is the only company in this business which (in seventeen years) hasn’t had a single case of ANY STD on the set. I have the good luck to work in a country where, in the first twenty-five years of the AIDS epidemic, only eight people died of HIV infection as compared to 400,000 in the U.S. If I lived in California, I certainly wouldn’t shoot without condoms, but I see no special reason to stick to the same rules here. Eight deaths in twenty-five years doesn’t constitute an epidemic—many more people die of ordinary flu here. Therefore, I think that while in the U.S. bareback equals Russian roulette, it is here merely condom-free.

To put it another way, we also don’t keep a hurricane watch here, just because the Gulf of Mexico has that problem. I also don’t think that not using condoms is a single reason for the AIDS epidemic, otherwise everybody in Slovakia would be dead already. I know very few people in this country who use condoms, and all the rest are perfectly healthy. I suspect that it has something to do also with alcohol, drug abuse, promiscuity and the whole gay party/club culture—that’s what creates a really deadly mix.

I’d also like to say that I carefully followed the situation for twenty years before coming to this conclusion. It doesn’t mean, of course, that something can’t happen tomorrow on my set. But the chance a model would die in a car accident is about a thousand times higher.

As for encouraging the viewer: I don’t encourage and I don’t promote. If I did, I’d be much richer now. I promoted condoms and healthy sex for seventeen years in my films. In exchange for my goodwill, I lost about thirty percent of my customers at one point. I am unaware of a single case of somebody paying for my films simply because I was promoting safe sex. But I got a lot of hate mail for being “vanilla” and “boring”.

Read the rest of the interview at Towleroad.

I saw on another blog the other day that Bel Ami is largely producing bareback content these days for it’s online episodes. This blog went on to say that they thought condom based porn was on the way out. While I do own bareback porn I think companies like Bel Ami producing it is a bad thing.

Companies like Treasure Island, Dark Alley and Hot Desert Knights have never claimed that their models are HIV negative and it has predominantly been presumed that they are in fact positive. Bel Ami and other “twink” companies are producing it because there is a demand but I would hazard a guess that the models, most of whom identify as straight, aren’t fully educated on the risks.

Bel Ami is produced in the Czech Republic which is far from a wealthy country and these boys are doing what they can to make a better life for themselves and to me, and this is just my opinion, they are being lead to make choices that are not in their best interests.

The other point that is raised by all this condomless porn is the terrifying fact that young men in their teens and 20′s and even 30′s see HIV as something that is not at all serious. I’ve had people online tell me that they bareback and HIV isn’t anything to worry about. It IS. I sincerely hope that people like Chi Chi LaRue, Hot House and Falcon continue to show hot horny sex with condoms being used.

Perhaps any company that produces bareback porn should be forced to contribute a percentage of sales towards safe sex education. I know some people will bareback regardless but surely even educated risk taking is better than ignorant risk taking?

This man, Godfrey Zaburoni, has been living with HIV for 13 years and has possibly risked infecting hundreds of people with the disease. He has been extradited back to Queensland where police are questioning him in regard to the possible willful exposure.

A national appeal has resulted in 18 people coming forward to say they have had unprotected sex with the man. A police spokesperson has said that some of the callers could have been men. As discussed recently it is the responsibility of each individual to look after their own health and safety, but the fact that this man has knowingly exposed possibly hundreds of people without care is disgusting and deplorable.

Read more here.

Yesterday afternoon I got in a mood to wander darkened corridoors not wearing much listening to strangers huffing and puffing, so I took myself off to the sauna (bathouse). Conveniently I was also in the mood to have some detached sex with strangers, so I did that too.

After playing with a couple of different people and having some fun I saw a guy that totally did it for me. He was really tall and kinda beefy with a cute smile. I did take note that he was there with what looked like his boyfriend, which proved to be correct after he and I connected in the steam room.

He told me he was HIV positive and I said that was fine thinking logically I was only going to be having safe sex anyway. As we walked into the glamorous private room with it’s ever so comfy wipe down mattress, his boyfriend joined us along with someone else that he’d picked up. That’s when things started to get off putting for me. I had my head around the fact that they were poz guys, then the other guy starts fucking the guy I had connected with, without a condom. I kinda assumed at that point that he was poz too, fair enough, each to their own.

Then the boyfriend went to fuck the extra guy and extra guy said “just don’t cum in me”. At that point my naive little head caved in. Does that mean he’s actually negative but playing bareback? Ok, educated risks are one thing but barebacking if you are neg with poz guys is not a calculated risk I’ll ever take, but again, each to their own.

The bit that really got to me was the thought that followed that. That if they were poz but willing to fuck someone raw and possibly infect him and that was fine with them, then I wasn’t ok with that. So, they finished up, pretty much with me on the sidelines getting less turned on the more time I spent thinking about it and then we parted ways. I may have it all wrong, but I’ll be sticking to my condoms and safe sex thanks.

There has been a petition filed in California by the California AIDS Healthcare Foundation to enforce that all porn models wear condoms in their films. With bareback porn being a hugely popular genre it will be a tough one to get through, but while I like watching bareback porn, I wholeheartedly support this move.

As Chi Chi La Rue, porn mogul and safe sex campaigner has stated “When I first started seeing barebacking titles appear, of course I was disappointed and very outspoken,” said La Rue. “The fact is that it was pretty obvious to most that the models ‘appeared’ to be HIV+ and were having unsafe sex with what ‘appeared’ to be other HIV+ models… What we are seeing now is drastically different. We are seeing movies with 18 year old twinks being gang banged without condoms. We are seeing…20 year olds in the UK who have reportedly become HIV+ after making their first porn.”

Recently I stumbled across a forum on Facebook for guys into bareback sex and they were boasting about how many loads they took and how young they were when they started. Firstly the guys on there in their 50′s talking about how hot it is to hear of guys taking loads at 14 should be arrested on pedophilia charges, even if they haven’t touched anyone. Secondly I was shouted down by the group when I mentioned the dangers of HIV. Members actually told me I was ignorant and that chlamidia or gonorrhea were worse than HIV.

Is this the kind of message that is getting out there? I know HIV is far from the death sentence it used to be but every treatment has financial, emotional and physical side effects. How do we educate the younger generations that didn’t see an entire generation of gay men wiped out? I am pretty confident that my friends that are HIV+ wouldn’t be positive if they had a choice.

Read a full article here.

Every little breakthrough, while still a long way off, is another step closer. Scientists at John Hopkins have found that a drug used to treat Acne since the 70′s effectively targets immune cells that the HIV virus hides in and prevents it replicating and reactivating. Read the full article here.

A couple of months ago on one of Sydney’s scorching Sunday’s I was one of three guys and three girls that posed for ACON’s (AIDS Council of NSW) new BeforePLAY campaign. The campaign is trying to get guys and girls to keep in mind that drugs and alcohol can impair your decision making about safe sex and to play safe.

The boys and I are in three different posters, two of which are above. I’m only in the one on the left talking about group sex and chemical sex. I’m the one in the middle, my head was buried in the crotch of a straight man.

ACON does amazing work at keeping people safe, spreading information about safe sex and also helping those living with HIV. They area an obvious presence at all the parties handing out safe sex packs (condom and lube for those that might need to know) and keeping the fight against the spread of HIV in the limelight. I’ve heard too many stories of young guys willing to let strangers fuck them without protection because they aren’t aware of the ramifications.

ACON were kind enough to let the Lifesavers With Pride help out at Big Bingay a few weeks ago and also last year and we were proud to help them out.

Recently I’ve come across a few blogs from guys that are very active barebackers, a couple of them trying to see how many loads they can take in the year or by the month. When I read stories like that where guys are taking load after load from strangers and being raw gangbanged, the first thing that occurs to me after the assumption that they are HIV+ is which came first, the love of cum or the HIV?

Did they contract HIV through an accident or slip in protection and once they were diagnosed figure “what the hell?” or did they always have a thing for cum and in pursuing that, did they contract HIV?

A guy was messaging a friend of mine last week, at three different points over many hours in one day. Each time the guy, who was 23 said “I’ve got another guy coming over, wanna join us?” and each of the 3 encounters were going to be raw. At 23 the kid is either incredibly naive, or already fully aware of his status and just cutting loose. The part that scares me is that he may have no idea of his status and be barebacking with guys that are poz or neg and possibly infecting people. Granted, anyone that barebacks with him is making their own choices and taking their own possibly educated risks.

HIV may not kill anymore the way it did 25 years ago, but it can kill and every treatment has side effects, financial, emotional and physical. For everyone, positive and negative, make your own choices, but look after yourselves!