It’s never easy

For the last three nights, my circus school has been hosting their annual end of year show. Thankfully I was performing as part of my class group. Performing is something that I find very challenging. I love the back stage camaraderie and the actual performance part is kinda fun but the pre-show nerves for me get way out of control. On Friday evening I had a little bit of a.. Read More

I’m angry… with myself

With performances booked for this weekend, the weekend should have been spent rehearsing and running the routine. Sadly, my nerves kicked into over drive and I worked myself up into such a state over not being able to get through the routine that indeed, even in rehearsal I couldn’t get through it. So rather than perform a rubbish routine and hate myself for it, I’ve pulled out. I’m still very.. Read More

Could I actually do it?

With a circus performance imminent in my future, last night at class there was talk about the upcoming routines. In the past I’ve floated the idea of a more adult show. The shows at Aerialize are usually full of friends and family and there are teenagers doing routines, kids in the audience and the whole thing is fairly PG. There are quite a few of us that would like to.. Read More

Better get moving!

Tonight when I turned up at circus class, one of the girls there reminded me that I committed to doing a routine at the next performance night. I’d completely forgotten about that promise but now I have four weeks to get my sorry arse ready for a performance and put together a routine. I’ve been trying for ages to find a piece of music that resonates for me and works.. Read More

About time..

Tonight at circus class I actually “got” a couple of the tricks we’ve been building up to for months. Not well and not even entirely properly but I made massive leaps forwards in comparison to my tantrum-inducing efforts in the past. Of course, they hurt like hell in parts but as an aerialist, that’s what happens even at my basic level. One of the problems I’ve been having is that.. Read More

Some good inspiration

Last night at circus class I was quite distracted. There was a guy who I had not seen before training in Aerial Straps which is an apparatus I wish I’d discovered as a younger man. Why as a younger man? The straps are an apparatus that are very tough on your shoulders and I don’t think my 42 year old shoulders would cope without a lot of training that I.. Read More

Feeling great.

Circus class tonight was a lot of fun and completely exhausting. There was one moment that I was getting frustrated with myself but our teacher is a scarily intelligent young guy and also very good at aerials and he gave me a simple pointer and it turned my whole class around. It was a bit of a breakthrough for a few different tricks as this one move that I was.. Read More

The routine!

Sorry for the lack of posts this week. It’s been a crazy week of work, rehearsals, work, rehearsals, work, Kylie concert and last night was finally the performance. After doing such a rough job on Thursday night and feeling very tired and stressed on the silks, last night was a complete turnaround. It’s not a flawless performance but I felt good up there, I had fun and I’m very glad.. Read More

Struggling

I’m not sure if it’s the effects of lots of late nights sitting up enjoying good conversation and wine over the weekend or something else but I feel very flat tonight. I went to rehearse my routine for performances this Thursday and Saturday and only managed to get through it once. I’m going to take myself to bed very early tonight and try and get myself back on track. We.. Read More

Not a disaster

Today was the first of my scheduled performances at the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras Fair Day. Over the years that I’ve been doing aerial silks I have only done a handful of public performances and I get very nervous before a performance to the point that I nearly throw up. Today I was watching others do their routines and getting increasingly anxious when the performer scheduled for half.. Read More

That was what I needed

Work today was a big fat pile of crap. We all have those days and I won’t bore everyone with details but it wasn’t fun and I felt very deflated when I left. Thankfully today is circus class night and I’ve just got home and feel great. We worked really hard and the class dynamic was really good. Maybe it was my frustrations from the office that gave me a.. Read More

Performances are on the horizon

I’ve blogged several times in the past couple of years about potentially doing performances for aerial silks but for one reason or another (ie I was scared) they haven’t happened. That’s about to change. My circus school is going to be running demonstrations and hosting a stall at the Mardi Gras Fair Day on Sunday 22nd of February. There will be an outdoor rig set up in the park and.. Read More

Could this be it?

Finding music appropriate for an aerial circus routine is something that I find really difficult. If I sit on a piece of music for too long without working it into a routine then I lose interest in it. The same is true if I try a routine to a piece of music and it doesn’t work. Rather than rework the routine I seem to throw the music away and start.. Read More

Mining the clouds again

Last night’s circus class was a tough one. When we started the class I was in a grumpy mood and we weren’t confident. This friday is the circus school Christmas Party and a bit of a show of pieces from a  few classes and individuals working on routines. As the advanced aerial silks class we decided we’d put a routine together. As it was we had only had a few.. Read More

Looking forward to it.

Someone commented on a post that I did recently that they were sick of the “perpetual moany groany that is my love life.” Part of me wants to say fuck off it’s my blog, but part of me agrees, I need to focus on the positives more so tonight is a Mining the Clouds Monday post. I had been a little nervous about next term at circus school given that.. Read More