Any ideas?

A man I know and have known for a few years as an acquaintance now is exploring his sexuality. His marriage to his wife isn’t in a good place for whatever reasons and he has told me he no longer puts a label on his sexuality.

He asked me if there were any WhatsApp groups for guys like him so he could chat to other gay/bi men about their concerns, fears, desires etc. WhatsApp didn’t seem like the right forum but I also had no other ideas to help him.

Does anyone out there know of any online groups where he might be able to chat to other guys exploring their desires to have sex with other men? There are a lot of options out there for actually exploring sex with other men but not many forums to talk things through that I personally am aware of.

If people could comment with suggestions that would be very much appreciated!

So much fun!

Being a fan of Kylie Minogue wasn’t something that was very cool when she first started out way back in 1987. She sold lots of records but not many people admitted to buying them. I’ve been a fan since I was the 13 year old boy in Wollongong who didn’t realise he was gay.

I will never have a definitive answer to the question I’ve been asked by dozens of people over the years, “Why is Kylie so popular with the gays?” What I do know is that even when I don’t love an album or a song that she releases, I still love her.

Last night was her first Australian show on the Golden Tour. We are always after the UK and Europe and she usually finishes the tour back in the UK for festival season there. I took two girlfriends who had never seen her live before and while it was one of the smaller productions she’s done in years, it was just as much fun as I hoped.

The video below is from 2002 in Kylie’s Fever tour and it’s one of my favourite moments from any Kylie show I’ve seen and that is 10 different shows now I think. Last night she looked like she was having just as much fun as the rest of us up there. Loved it!

Sand/Stone

When my friend Troy put his hand up to replace a model that had to cancel a while ago it was his first photo shoot. A week later we did his second which we already had planned.

This time we had Troy outside in amongst the gritty sand and beautiful sandstone on a little beach about 45 minutes from Sydney. Troy, as you can see is very comfortable naked and isn’t shy at all.

This week’s download is the result of that photo shoot called Sand/Stone. I’ve been to the beach a few times with Troy, always nude but I did discover he hates the sand. He’d much rather sit on the rocks where he doesn’t have to worry about it so it was with trepidation that I asked him to roll around in the very coarse sand at this beach. Baring in mind he was also covered in a light layer of oil to make his skin sheen so the sand stuck really well as you’ll know when you watch the behind the scenes video below.

Click here to buy Sand/Stone and any of the other 60 downloads on my website!

It’s a drag

Over the last two days I’ve been doing drag at a work event. I hadn’t done drag in ten years. It is a lot of fun to put on a completely different identity for a while and have some fun but it raised some thoughts in my head.

You get a lot of attention in drag and that can be great fun and not bad for the ego but then you realise it’s a bit of a novelty. In some ways I imagine it’s what the super hot guys get, superficial attention but the difference with them is people want to shag them.

Last week when Billy Porter turned up on the red carpet in a tuxedo ball-gown mashup the gay world responded with “Slay queen!” etc etc but would any of them shag him? Probably not. All these same guys last night on the Mardi Gras floats were in just the right swimwear/underwear with a perfectly flattering elastic harness. Camp but still emphasising their maleness.

I’m as guilty of it as anyone. As I said to my colleague yesterday, in drag I have the confidence to chat and flirt with the hot people I wouldn’t normally but I don’t have the appeal. Drag is a lot of fun and I definitely believe more people should have a go at it in their life but it is literally emasculating.

So smooth

Tomorrow night I’m doing something I haven’t done in about ten years. At a work function I’m doing drag. It’s funny that even though I’m not particularly hung up on being “masculine” in the way a segment of the gay world is, I’m finding that I’m worried how I’ll be perceived in the office afterwards.

Regardless of that, I’m actually looking forward to it. Getting up in a costume is a lot of fun and you get to be someone completely different for a night. I’m not looking forward to the killer high heels for three hours though. They may hurt my feet but they are fabulous.

In preparation of the evening I have just removed all my body hair. Granted I’m far from a hairy person but I figure if I’m doing drag, I’m doing it right. So now my legs, under arms, chest and even my arms are devoid of hair. I quite like having smooth legs but even that is too much effort to maintain so there’s no way I’d maintain my underarms etc.

Fingers crossed I don’t make an arse of myself tomorrow night. It should be a fun night and if you can’t do drag this close to Mardi Gras, when can you?

Grateful

On Saturday night I finally got around to watching Bohemian Rhapsody. I’m not going to talk about the movie itself or the controversies around it. I want to talk about the AIDS crisis that was central to the unfortunate demise of Freddy Mercury.

As a young man I was hitting puberty as the AIDS crisis took hold and scared the world. Possibly it scared me more than some because, even though I didn’t know it at the time, I was gay and it was being called the “Gay disease”.

I think for guys like me of that era, it is why some of us took longer to be convinced of the merits of PrEP as a safe option. Growing up I was convinced that anyone who had sex without a condom was going to die because that’s what happened to men like Freddy at the time.

As it turned out I wasn’t sexually active for a long time after and the hysteria had died down and men were living a lot longer, and very happy rich lives by the time I came out. It’s people in the public eye like Freddy who did announce he was dying of AIDS, sadly only 24 hours before his death, who started the long and still not complete job of reducing the stigma of HIV and AIDS.

I will forever be grateful that I got through my early gay years without contracting HIV and now live in a world of ever diminishing transmissions.

Get Ruffled

This is another one of those shoots that seemed to take forever to organise. Will is a lovely guy but our schedules never seemed to match up. He also has a lot of interests and is often out having fun adventures so it is hard to coordinate a shoot.

What wasn’t a problem was convincing him of my idea. He loved it. His beautiful pale, freckled skin, surrounded by the coarse white tulle fabric with just a hint of orange paint on his face, and boom, we had a shoot.

Will’s long lean frame photographs beautifully and really lent itself to this shoot. If you buy the whole download, which is out now then you’ll see that Will isn’t shy either. This one contains full frontal and erotic imagery. If that sounds like your thing, then click here to buy the download and any others that you think you might like.

A little canyoning adventure

When I said I was going to try and do more youtube videos that came with the statement that not all adventures need to be big. Last weekend’s adventure was definitely a LONG day but it cost very little and didn’t need much equipment. These are the kinds of adventures I want to make a habit of.

Heading out to the Blue Mountains National Park a couple of hours west of where I live, my mates showed me some beautiful scenery. The end of the day was quite physically challenging but worth every step and every drop of my sweat.

I can’t say where it is because my mate who organised it made me promise not to. It’s a very secluded spot and we don’t want it over run with people although I would say a lot of people would struggle with getting in and out. The people we saw as we were putting on wetsuits were nearly the only people we saw all day.

Some of the footage is wobbly and not very clear in this but that’s because my GoPro is an old one. I’d love to buy one of the new Hero 7’s but I just can’t afford it.

Falling in love

I don’t know about you but I know that I can fall in mini-love on the train of a morning or at the gym or in today’s case with someone I have seen at the cafe.

There is a guy who is probably barely 30 and he is so typically my type it is ridiculous. Clean cut, athletic, broad shoulders and completely unavailable. On this gloomy Sunday morning in Sydney I went to the cafe under my apartment for breakfast and just before I finished he turned up. I’ve seen him in the area a bit and was already developing a crush.

When I went in to pay I made a joke to the owners who I chat to all the time, about falling in love with hot straight guys. They laughed and said that it’s harder because he’s actually a really nice guy. Very polite and friendly all the time.

He also has a really cool dog. It’s a solid-as-hell bull dog but it looks really friendly and he clearly loves it. How do I tell him I’m ready to co-parent his dog with him?

Measuring up

With a black tie wedding booked in a few weeks I needed to get my hands on a tuxedo. I was going to rent one but that is actually nearly as expensive as buying one and last night friends told me that they’d had a great experience at a place that I’d always thought was really cheap in terms of quality.

I’ve just got home from going there and I was impressed. Sure it’s not a custom made Gucci tuxedo or anything but it was a really good fit and felt like good fabric.

Getting fitted for clothes is a daunting task and I’m one of the lucky people with a conventionally “typical” shape. Anyone who doesn’t conform to a standard body shape must feel very intimidated. As it is, I always know going in that I’m going to have trousers taken up at the hem and I have a thick neck so shirts need to be a touch bigger there.

Every now and then I have a bit of a chuckle at how social media and society in general is telling us to stand out and prove how unique we are but so often we just want to fit in and be just like everyone else. Being able to buy clothes off the rack that fit pretty well is a bit of a blessing. Being average isn’t an insult, it’s very handy.

It’s what we do

I’ve just got home from a catch up with some friends at the pub and as you do, we covered a lot of territory with conversation. These are new friends that we worked out are mutual friends with some of the guys I went canyoning with on the weekend.

One of them is a nudist and we were talking about people’s attitudes towards nudity and sex etc. The mutual friends are guys I can happily hang out nude with and one of them came nude camping with us last month. They are friends that I would never fool around with though. That brought up the topic of friends hooking up etc.

I have some friends that I can be naked with, some I can be naked with and/or hook up with and some who I pretend have no genitals at all and don’t ever have sex. On the topic of hooking up with friends, we did talk about the fact that in the gay world it’s not uncommon for people to have met their friends by hooking up, then moving into friendship territory.

I have gay friends that I’ve known for years that we started by dating and hooking up before realising that was never going to work but have gone on to become some of my strongest friendships.

It’s one of those unique things about the gay world that make me smile. The straight world rarely manages that sort of thing but it’s quite common for us homos.

A great adventure!

Sunday’s adventure was a lot of fun. Completely exhausting but totally worth it. We started just before 7am with a 2 hour drive, followed by a 45 minute hike. That led us to the start of our river adventure.

From there we spent an amazing 5 hours on the river floating on inflatables, walking through shallow parts and some scrambling over rocks. It was some of the most beautiful scenery I’ve seen with crystal clear water, sheer canyon walls and lots of different things to see.

We stopped for lunch and since we hadn’t seen anyone else in a long while we stripped off for some photos after eating, then chilled out some more. After lunch we had a couple more hours of moving down river before we had to make our way out.

This was the only part I struggled with. After a long day a STEEP clamber out of the canyon we had another hour of hiking, mostly up hill to get back to the car. I was absolutely shattered but very content at the end of it.

It was so much fun getting out of the city and seeing some beautiful scenery with mates. I definitely think there should be more of that in my life.

Get down to the River

Back in early January I spent a beautiful weekend with mates camping nude down at River Island. On the Sunday morning I got to do my second photo shoot with Tom, Ozmod of the now sadly defunct Naked Werewolves Instagram page.

Tom is one of those beautifully humble men who has no idea of his charms, both physical or in personality. Working with him again was great. The first shoot we collaborated on was a winter shoot and while this recent one wasn’t a particularly warm morning, it was nowhere near as cold as the winter shoot.

The morning light at the river was beautiful and lit Tom’s muscled physique beautifully. The deep greens of the scenery looked great as well against Tom’s skin tone. “River” is out now and if you click here you can buy it along with all the other downloads in my shop.

It is the spice

If someone took a look at my day today I’m not sure they’d be able to define me very easily and I kinda like that. They do say that variety is the spice of life and today has certainly been varied.

Firstly I was up at at 6am to go and do some photos for the Lifesavers With Pride, the gay lifesavers Mardi Gras group that I used to march with in the parade. Then after dropping my camera back at home I was quickly off out to Western Sydney to meet with a wedding couple who booked me for their wedding in November.

From there it was back into town to go to the drag shop to pay a deposit on getting drag makeup done and hire a wig for a work function I need to do drag at in a couple of weeks. Then I had a bit of a break at home before going to meet a couple of mates to buy a cheap wetsuit for an adventure down a river tomorrow.

Now I’ve just finished editing photos from last weekend’s photo shoot. I think I’ve earned a beer and some yummy food tonight. The adventure tomorrow is going to be a long but fun day!

Gorgeousness

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that I follow a lot of hot male models on Instagram. What does come as a surprise (but shouldn’t) is that they aren’t all dumb and have nothing more to offer.

Drew Harrisberg is a model signed to Sydney’s best modelling agency. He’s also an exercise physiologist and a diabetes educator. Hell, I’d learn about diabetes from him even though I don’t have it. If you follow his Instagram you’ll see he even has a totally awesome dog. Sadly he’s straight.

If you think he couldn’t get more annoying/intimidating, you’d be wrong. Today he released his first single as a singer (which he also wrote). Now, we’d all expect some auto-tuned dance or cheesy Ed-Sheeran-lite from someone that looks like Drew but again you’d be wrong.

Lover & a Friend is a beautiful, haunting love song that I can totally see in the soundtrack to a gorgeous indie romance movie. I’ve bought it on iTunes, listened to it several times and watched the video a couple of times.