Do you want the Frenchman?

Charly is another one of those models that it took a long time to coordinate a shoot. He was living in a different state so it took a while. Then he was about to go on a long vacation after moving here so we took the opportunity while we had it.

Charly is a masseur that keeps fit by doing martial arts and it shows. He’s not a tall guy but his body is incredibly toned and defined. I bet, given the martial arts experience, if I had been at all inappropriate he would have just kicked my ass.

If you want to buy “Frenchman”, this weeks download, just click here. As usual all the other downloads are there to buy as well.

You can’t be serious?

We all know that Grindr is a magical world of rudeness, delusion, lies and opportunism. Sometimes it can be good for some sex, but mostly the other stuff.

Last week I was hit up by a 19 year old. NINETEEN! At first it was the usual, barely literate message alluding to a hookup. I think he said I was hot which I thanked him for, wondering why a 19 year old was interested in a 45 year old. Then he sent a one word message saying “Help”.

Now at first I wondered if he was in trouble. Was someone coercing him into something. Had he been kidnapped or something. Nope. I asked him what was wrong and the next message launched into a spiel about being broke and having no money etc etc.

Maybe I’m way too cynical and he genuinely did need financial help but all I read was “Scam, scam, money, scam”. If you can afford to pay for a smart phone then you can eat. If someone is genuinely in trouble they aren’t going to hit up complete strangers on Grindr for cash.

Sorry buddy, you’re shit out of luck with this cynical middle-aged homo. He was blocked by the time I finished reading the message.

Saying yes

Yesterday I posted something on my instagram story asking how people met their partners or do they meet people to go on dates with. There were a huge variety of responses. Grindr, through friends, Instagram, sports, social activities, hobbies. All sorts.

One person suggested I change up my habits. One thing I can be guilty of is saying no to things that make me uncomfortable. Strange I know given I do aerial circus, stand up in front of large groups at weddings and speak etc but there are times I get nervous about things and don’t do them.

Tomorrow during the day I’m doing my second hike with the Get Naked Australia group on Facebook. It’s been nearly a year since I last joined them and while the chances of meeting someone gay are pretty slim as it’s a mostly straight, mixed crowd, new nude friends are good and you just never know.

Tomorrow night a friend is having drinks at a bar that is notoriously packed with gays and has a reputation for being pretty pretentious. With the right group of friends, all places can be fun and if I don’t go, it guarantees I won’t meet anyone new.

So, it’s time to take on some new challenges and say yes.

What a sh*t day!

Today has been a day that I just don’t want to think about. The most minor thing of the day that annoyed me was a lot of selfish assholes at the gym not putting their weights away. It was also crowded and I couldn’t get on all the equipment that I wanted. But like I said, that’s a minor one.

Some days life feels like a big fat bag of shit.

The big one was five people from my office being made redundant including two of my favourite people to work with. It really threw me and I feel sick about it. Most of the five will be absolutely fine but it’s just a shit thing to happen in the office. Five people out of a 20 person office leaves quite a hole and it will be interesting to see what comes next.

Then after catching up with friends for dinner to try and relax and calm down after that shit news I just saw a guy that a bit over a year ago I went on a few dates with and was very keen on. He was too “broken” after a previous relationship to date me but now he’s apparently all fixed because he was definitely with someone. Genuinely happy for him but in my tired and emotional state I didn’t need to see that yet another guy that wasn’t over their ex when I met them has moved on and found someone when I can’t get a date for the life of me.

Hold tight…

There are lots of different types of people in the world and that is what makes it a fascinating and interesting place. Sometimes incredibly frustrating too.

For the purpose of tonight’s blog post I’m going to break the world down into two kinds of people. Those people who are ok with public affection and those that aren’t. I’m definitely in the latter category. I don’t do the levels of public display that make people around me uncomfortable but holding hands with someone walking down the street is lovely. It is one of the things that always makes me smile when I see it out and about. Even more so when it’s an LGBT couple or a couple you don’t expect to even be a couple.

A couple of nights ago I was walking down my street and just in front of me were an older straight couple, probably about 70 walking slowly and not too agile, down the street, a bag of shopping in his hand and a bottle of milk in hers, their other hands were clasped as they have probably been for 50 odd years.

At the other end of the street were a younger gay couple who I actually know and have photographed for the Bed download (definitely worth a look). They were also holding hands and on their way out for dinner and a drink on a date night.

I’ve always been a big hugger and love being close to people. Touch makes me feel content. It certainly doesn’t have to be sexual but it has to be genuine. A reluctant hug is not a hug. I miss holding hands. So simple but loaded with meaning for me.

Download Andrew now!

A month or so ago I received an email asking me about a model I’d photographed coincidentally, two years ago tomorrow. He was asking if I had any plans to release a download of the shoot with Andrew. At that stage I hadn’t thought about it but it inspired me to go back to the files and see if there was enough for a download.

It turns out there was. So yesterday I released “Andrew” to the world and I have to say, I’m very impressed with the sales already. As with all downloads, click here and shop away!

Andrew is a straight guy from Melbourne who loves a challenge. When we did the shoot he was about to leave for an indefinite travel adventure after packing up his life and leaving his job. Part of his love of challenges is to try new things and step out of his comfort zone. Posing nude for a photo shoot was part of that. He did it beautifully, even when I covered him in clingy wet fabric. The things I do.

Troy at the beach

As part of my pledge (to you and to me) to get back into doing more youtube videos after nearly 12 months off, yesterday I did a photo shoot and by midnight I had a video done. I haven’t even edited the photos yet!

I really enjoy doing videos and it’s reminded me of that. The hardest part of doing vlogs and behind the scenes videos is getting enough good quality footage. 90% of this footage is on my iPhone which has great stabilising software.

Troy has been, in his words, fat and skinny in his life before this and he’s working damn hard in the gym to get to a point he’s happy with. I think we can all agree that he’s looking really good and my god his butt is a thing to behold. He actually said he got a bit emotional watching the video because of how much he’s changed his body in the past year or two.

Now I just need to keep up this momentum of making videos. One per year is a little slack.

Am I lucky?

There are moments in life that really throw some perspective into the way you view the world. This morning I was hanging out with a friend and he just dropped a couple of bombs into the conversation about being sexually abused as a young child (a one-off incident) and again as a young teenager.

Over the years I have found out that several people I know have been sexually abused or assaulted, both as one-off incidents and ongoing scenarios. My friend this morning even said with the teenage incident he didn’t know if he’d made it happen. It sounded like a classic case of someone in power manipulating the situation to prey on a vulnerable kid.

I was never touched, threatened or abused as a child and I’m starting to think that makes me part of the lucky minority rather than the people being assaulted being the minority they should very much be.

Many years ago I was having a conversation about this situation and the guy I was chatting to responded “Yeah, isn’t that why we are all gay?” WHAT? No. I’m gay because I’m a happy healthy, never-molested individual who happens to be same-sex attracted.

One of my close mates is a sexual assault survivor and he told me that he (along with therapy) chose to not let the assault define him or ruin his life. He’s a very strong person and has built a happy, well adjusted life for himself but it could easily have gone the other way.

Any requests?

Vlogging is something that I’ve dabbled in as you might be aware if you’ve been visiting this blog for a while. I haven’t posted anything new to my youtube channel for nearly 12 months and as I said recently, I want to do some more. A few times recently I’ve intended to do some behind the scenes videos on photo shoots but shooting alone makes it more difficult.

So, along with making more of an effort to film on photo shoots, I’m throwing it open to you, my readers to give me suggestions or make requests on what I should vlog about.

Now, be reasonable. These are for YouTube posts so I will NOT be accepting requests for full frontal imagery. Nor will I be going into extreme detail about some aspects of my life buy we all know I’m a bit of an open book so it is a bit of an open brief.

I also really like the idea of vlogging about Little Adventures so if you live somewhere else in the world and you’ve heard of an aspect of living in Australia or a place in or near Sydney and you think I should do a video, ask away. Leave your requests in the comments, email me or comment on the Facebook post of this blog entry. In the meantime, enjoy this vlog from Iceland.

Hold them tight

We all have friends that are easy to hang out with. No matter what’s going on there seems to be no drama. Other friends, maybe a little more challenging at times. I recently posted about some bumpy times that some friends are having. Tonight I caught up with one of those friends and it really made me appreciate our friendship.

We have had some pretty tough conversations over the nearly 17 years that we’ve known each other and we’ve gone through phases where we weren’t as close as other times. Thankfully we have a friendship where we can give the tough love talks and come out of it better.

Tonight was a very easy catch up and we talked about some of the dramas going on with some of his other friends but it really made me appreciate him as a mate. Sure, we’ve pissed each other off over the years but we are all good. I’ve seen him be an amazing friend for friends in crisis and he’s dropped everything and been there for me at times as well.

The good friends, no matter how much they challenge you at times are worth fighting to keep.

Just not how it is

Doing all the photography of beautiful nude men that I do, people make a lot of assumptions about what goes on during or after a shoot. Every time I post someone new I will almost without fail get a message from someone asking if I sucked them off or had sex with them. Most concerningly I’ve had that question repeatedly from one or two photographers.

I’ve done close to 200 shoots of nude men. Some of the guys I’ve shot a few times and I’m not going to play innocent, a few of them I’ve played around with but that number is very, very low.

In the era of #metoo I’m very careful not to be creepy with my models but I find it very interesting that the assumption is that I hook up with all of them, or at least try to.

No one has become famous from doing a photo shoot with me and I can’t see any other motivation for the guys to want to sleep with me. The vast majority of the guys I work with are close to 20 years younger than me and I’m not going to make them feel like they need to do something to get a shoot with me, nor convince them it will help their career.

I have to say, the questions get a bit boring after a little while.

Are you an Early Riser?

I know I said I was going to slow down on releasing downloads this year but so far I’m enjoying the weekly pace, so here we are.

This week’s download has just been released and it’s called “Early Riser” featuring the sexy Trent, exploring nature, and himself in the early morning light. It’s definitely a sight to behold.

If you want to buy Early Riser or any of the other downloads, just click here. I suggest getting in quickly as in a few days I’ll be putting the prices up on all downloads to $9.95 to more accurately reflect the work that goes in to them. I want to keep them affordable for everyone but I feel like they were undervalued. I’ll be announcing the price change on Instagram just before it happens.

Exciting opportunity

As with all things in a typical Libran person, my excitement over celebrities is balanced out by my cynical view that they are just regular people doing an unusual job.

I’ve posted a few times here on the blog about my wish list of celebrities to photograph and while it is unlikely, I may be about to take my first steps on the road to photographing celebrities

A couple of months ago I was lucky enough to spend a lovely night at the pub with friends and meeting new people through friends. One of those new people was Alfie Arcuri. He won the Australian Voice in 2016. He’s also a gay man who released a single “Love is Love” (below) during the fight for marriage equality just over a year ago.

Alfie is releasing a new single next month and after seeing some of my photography asked if I’d be interested in shooting some promo shots for him. A fabulously talented Australian photographer, James Demitri has done the music video and some of the visuals (I’ve had a sneak peek) aren’t wildly dissimilar to my work. So this weekend as well as shooting two other models for download, I’m photographing Alfie. I can’t wait to work with him. He’s absolutely lovely!

Maybe it’s you?

Advertising has a lot that can be criticised. For a long time it’s played to obvious stereotypes and often been guilty of misogyny, homophobia and racism. I think companies that try to redress that should be applauded.

This week one of the companies most guilty of misogynistic advertising for decades, Gillette has done their part to shift their approach. Their ad talks about the culture of toxic masculinity and how “boys will be boys” is not good enough any more. There have been arguments that it’s attacking men but I disagree. To me it feels like it’s handing people an opportunity to do better. To recognise bad behaviour and be a part of the solution.

Obviously the same men that think women are being given all the opportunities and claim it’s impossible to even flirt with a woman now that #metoo has had such a (positive) impact, are now threatening boycotts against Gillette saying that it is PC gone mad and people aren’t allowed to be men any more.

My take is that if you really have a problem with an advertisement asking you not to be an asshole, then you might just be an asshole.

How?

Today I watched the video below about dating. This woman made some very valid points. Rather than going in to a date asking if the person is “the one”, ask if you actually even want to spend a few hours having dinner with them. It seems like common sense but it doesn’t feel like it’s that common.

What I want to know is how are people finding dates? I haven’t been on a real date in over a year. In August 2017 I went on a couple of great dates with someone which unfortunately went nowhere but pretty much nothing since. In this video she talks about Tinder but that for me has been pretty useless. If I match with someone there are maybe one or two messages sent but it never seems to go anywhere from there.

I have half-jokingly thought about issuing a date challenge on the blog asking for dates but the caveat is that I blog about them but then I don’t know if I want to do that. As soon as I’m legitimately interested in someone I don’t think it’s a great idea to blog about it.