Adding to my wish list

In the past I have posted about my photography wish list. That was in terms of the celebrities that I would dearly love to photograph, now including the divine Chris Hemsworth.

Since me ever getting to photograph A-list, B-list or even G-List celebrities probably isn’t likely I’m now thinking of my photography wish list in terms of the kinds of guys that I’m keen to photograph. This Saturday I’m doing three different shoots with three very different guys. Number one is a long-haired, beareded viking style muscle boy. Number 2 is a very clean cut acrobat and number three is a beautiful and booty-ful Asian muscle guy. Yes they all have muscles but three very different looks.

So who am I adding to my list? While I used to stay as far away from tattoos as possible, now I am very keen to photograph a VERY heavily tattooed guy if possible. The guy above Stephen James, is a successful fashion model who, while I think he would look so beautiful with no ink, actually carries off the super-inked look amazingly well. The other kind of guy I want to shoot is a hot, jock trans man. I’ve seen some stunning trans men online doing modelling but haven’t met any here in Sydney yet.

I’m also very sick of the lack of diversity in “gay” male photography. It’s time to mix up the colour palette, the levels of masculinity and incorporate all sorts of guys. That may well impact the sales of my pdf’s but I’d rather satisfy myself and be inclusive than stick to the same kind of guy all the time.

Getting Wired

No, that’s not a reference to chem sex at all. Totally not my thing. Wired is the name of the new download for this week. Of course, the shoot didn’t quite turn out how I planned as the wire didn’t behave itself at all. Am I unhappy with how it went? Not in the slightest. Aaron was another new model that I’d never worked with before who turned up ready to get nude and experiment. Bless him. It turns out he’s also up for some erotic work which we will endeavour to explore soon.

I’ve got three photo shoots this Saturday in the studio and hopefully another outdoor one on the Sunday if the model is free. I’m talking to lots of guys trying to tee up photo shoots to keep up with the content for you all.

If you want to download Wired or any of the other downloads, or even buy a print, head on over to my website! There are a heap of downloads to choose from and if you want to buy all of them, feel free!

Family dynamics

It’s weekends like the one I’ve just had that make me very, grateful for my family and our very easy dynamic. Sure, there are times we drive each other nuts but either none of us are too crazy or we are all the same brand of crazy.

Yesterday I officiated at the wedding of a woman I have known for 40 years, since we started school at the same time. Now she and her new wife are both strong women with firm ideas about what they wanted for their wedding day after 21 years together. Ultimately they got exactly what they wanted. The mother of one of the brides is also a wedding celebrant and firstly was pissed off that she wasn’t doing the ceremony. Secondly she wasn’t happy that they had opted for a very, very short ceremony with just about the bare minimum to it.

She took me aside twice before the ceremony to change the placement of things and to get me to try and talk them into doing things a bit differently.

The poor father of the same bride didn’t come to her wedding because he’s still not able to be in the same room as her mother after 25+ years of being divorced from her and he hasn’t spoken to the bride’s brother in 20 years. So you could say there are tensions in the family dynamic. It’s just a shame that people can’t put those aside for a special occasion.

How far do you go?

Today I had a discussion with a guy that I know through a nudist group. It was a very wide ranging conversation that covered a lot of bases. At one point we were talking about a guy that was at one of the group events. I follow this guy on Instagram and have only met him once so I genuinely cannot say that I know him but his Instagram has changed lately. There are no more cheeky nude selfies at waterfalls etc like there used to be. The change seems to have coincided with a new girlfriend that he has.

The guy I was chatting to (not the guy with the girlfriend) said that the girlfriend isn’t into social nudity and he’s not sure how comfortable she is with the idea at all. It would be really sad if this guy wasn’t allowed to get nude or was giving it up for his new girlfriend. Sure, relationships are about compromise but this guy loved being nude in nature alone or with friends both male and female. If a partner is asking you to give up something you really love then in my opinion they are not the person for you.

My last boyfriend (a million years ago) couldn’t get his head around social nudity and the fact that it doesn’t equal sex. I think it contributed a lot to our breakup. To his credit he never asked me not to go to nude beaches or hang out nude with friends when we had a nude drinks or something but it really freaked him out.

To my nudist readers, how much would you compromise for a relationship? How much HAVE you compromised?

That’s a bit dangerous

It seems that today was the day for very sexual conversations over social media. I’ve had conversations with at least three people that were very sexual in nature today with some images being swapped and lots of chats about shenanigans both real and fantasy. Yes I was at work which is what made it dangerous.

There have been other days in the past with a similar tone and on those days I’ve been caught out wearing the wrong trousers. When you get turned on as a man there are some obvious signs. A boner can be rectified with some patience and stopping the sexy talk but precum that soaks through underwear onto light coloured trousers is VERY obvious and difficult to get rid of.

Thankfully today I was wearing dark jeans because it would have been a problem. With the release of “Pervert” on Sunday evening and then posting it here and promoting it on Instagram (very censored) it seems I’m attracting guys who want to pose for me in an erotic way. Many years ago I struggled to find models at all, willing to pose nude but very very rarely did anyone pose frontal. Now that I’ve found some to go frontal, more are seeing how I’m doing it and putting their hands up to take their pants down. The same seems to be true for erotic too. You do a few shoots with boners or sexual activity and guys are now volunteering. I love it.

If you’d asked me five years ago if I was even interested in shooting a guy fucking a stuffed panda I would have said no way but here we are. Things evolve and change. I’d get bored if I shot the same thing all the time.

Are you a PERVERT?

Have you ever noticed that anyone who isn’t as adventurous as you is labelled uptight but anyone into more than you are gets labelled a “pervert”?

The internet has made it increasingly easy for people to find like-minded people into the same kink as them, no matter how benign or wild. A greater capacity for consenting adults to explore their fetishes is a great thing, no matter how weird it might be for those not quite as adventurous.

A while back I had an idea for a photo shoot and a model lined up to do it but sadly that model had to pull out for one reason or another. Shortly after this guy put his hand up to model for me. With his big bushy beard he’s not really my typical model type but when someone is willing to model with very few limits, in a shoot that just about everyone else would baulk at, you don’t say no.

Now let me clarify in this post that fucking stuffed toys is not something I’m into but it lent itself well to a bonkers photo shoot where most other kinks veered too closely to actual porn. If you want to see what else the model got up to in this photographic exploration into the world of fetish and kink, you’re going to have to buy the download. Obviously it does contain full frontal imagery and actual sexual activity. Enjoy!

A bit conflicted

According to all the weather reports here in Sydney for the last week, we are pretty much officially done with cold weather. The forecast says we are going to have record temperatures until the end of the year and through Summer. This is a challenging thing for me. On a global scale it terrifies me that we are constantly breaking weather records. Right now in Asia and the U.S. there are enormous hurricanes/cyclones causing destruction and here in Australia, my entire state is being classed as drought affected. Climate change deniers will say this is a natural cycle but even if that is the case, we can’t survive much more extreme changes in weather. Farmers won’t be able to grow the food we need, there will be no water and the planet won’t sustain life. Stephen Hawking predicted that the planet won’t sustain life in less than 50 years.

On a personal level, I LOVE warm weather. My mood lifts when I am warm and wearing less clothing. I can’t wait to get back out in the sunshine, lie naked on beaches, go on hikes with mates to find quiet riversides to frolic nude in the sun and the water. This is a controversial statement given Australia’s rates of skin cancer but I feel so much healthier with a tan. It’s been standard for me to be in the sun since I was a little kid. The damage is done for me and I know I’ll look like leather but I just love being tanned, from head to toe. None of these pesky tanlines for me.

Compensating?

The orgy (5 guys) I went to last night was everything I needed it to be and nothing I was afraid of so it worked out just great. There will be no specifics given of who did what to whom etc but you can guarantee there were 5 contented guys at the end of it.

A few months ago I wrote about Big Dick Energy. You can read that post here. Essentially it is the quiet confidence that comes with a guy knowing he has a big cock. There’s no need to shout. He knows. Last night I think I saw the opposite.

We had a bit of a WhatsApp chat going before the day so that people could see who they were going to be meeting etc. One of the guys who is a total top was very vocal about how he likes to pound an ass and he’s quite a dominant guy in bed. He’d also said that he had a bigger dick than one of the other guys. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the talk might be compensating.

He wasn’t a micro penis in any way shape or form but to say he had a bigger dick than the other guy he was talking about was rubbish. It was slightly thicker yes but noticeably shorter. He also stayed in his jock strap and t-shirt the whole time while the rest of us were naked. All the alpha talk was clearly making up for a guy who likely has some body issues and probably a bit concerned about the size of his cock. Neither of those concerns were necessary.

Sure he wasn’t a Men’s Health kinda body, but none of us were. He also doesn’t have a tiny cock. It’s a pretty standard cock. In the gay world we are so bombarded with images of porn stars and models that make us feel inadequate for our body or endowment. It’s a shame that we let that override our ability to let go and get right into a moment like last night.

Back in the saddle…

Tonight I’m pushing myself out of my current comfort zone and trying to get back to finding another zone comfortable again. I’m off to a guy’s house that I’ve fooled around with a couple of months ago for some group sex. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt sexy but I broke my drought over the weekend, even after the disastrous attempts on Saturday.

There are definitely five of us going to be there and I’m sure once I get there I’ll be very much into it. I’ve seen photos of the guys that I haven’t met and I know two of the guys who will be there.

I’m not sure why I go through such dramatic changes in sexual activity. A year ago I was still riding the slutty wave that I’d initially caught in Europe but that wave died pretty quickly, about the time I got made redundant and a guy I was very much into decided he wasn’t in the emotional place he needed to be to date me. That knocked my confidence for a while but it should have come back enough for some casual sex before now.

For whatever reason it hasn’t but my libido is in relatively high gear at the moment so I’m going to make the most of it. I’m really nervous about it but whereas in the past I may have chickened out, tonight I’m going.

Feeling Blue

The colour blue. It’s said to be calming but when we are feeling blue, we aren’t calm at all. We are sad. We are melancholy. Sometimes the fight leaves it’s marks. It can stain you and be there as a permanent reminder. That’s what I am trying to embody in this series. 

I had a model pull out for quite a different shoot so I had time booked in a studio that I needed to fill. Clinton here put his hand up to do a shoot and I had the blue powder ready to go from the dancer shoot. Clinton turned up and like most of my shoots it was a fairly quick shoot. An hour and we’d had him dusted then shot, oiled then shot and cleaned up ready to go home and shower the rest of the blue stain off. Fingers crossed he got it all off.

Last time I photographed Clinton he had just started seeing someone and wasn’t interested in doing frontal for fear of upsetting the boyfriend. Now he’s single and really doesn’t care. At the end of the shoot he asked if there was anything else I wanted. If you don’t ask you don’t get so I suggested some shots erect and he was up for it. You’ll have to buy the download to see those shots but the shot on the far left above gives you a good impression.

The download is available now in my online shop, as are all the other issues that have been released before now.

So frustrating.

Every article you read online about Instagram and building a following, using it for marketing and just maintaining your “brand” tells you to be consistent with your feed. For some time I’ve been trying to post a few times a week at the same time of the day and I try and keep my feed clean by posting three images from the same series or shoot during a particular week so that every third post, there is a neat row of images.

In the past few weeks I’m not sure if I’ve been caught up in some algorithm clean up or there is someone being a vindictive asshole and reporting my images but now there have been about 10-12 images from all different series that have been deleted and my carefully crafted feed looks like a mess. Is it crucial? No. Will I die? No but my god it’s frustrating.

I’m very careful to post images that I don’t believe violate Instagram’s terms. God knows there are people posting worse than I post. Just in the last ten minutes I’ve seen a (lovely) pair of testicles hanging very clearly down between a pair of legs.

If someone is posting porn on Instagram or images that blatantly violate their terms, I understand reporting them but as I said, I try very hard not to break the rules. If someone is deliberately reporting my images why not just unfollow my page?

Comments!

Righto, so this blog has been without comments for a long time now. Randomly yesterday I thought I’d try and see if they were working because there have been some updates to WordPress. The comments are working, sort of. You have to put in a captcha security code but you do not have to put in a website. Now a couple of you have said it’s not working because it never seems to load once you’ve hit comment but the comments are appearing on the blog. I don’t seem to get an email about them anymore like I used to but they are appearing. YAY!

You’ve got to be kidding

There are times when I just don’t understand where I fit within the gay world. As someone who struggles with confidence at times in the sexual realm it does feel that the gay world is very focused on hooking up and rampant sex. Then I have people asking why I’m single and I have no idea how to answer that. The mystical alignment of being attracted to the same person that’s attracted to me, with enough in common to make a spark just hasn’t happened. So where does that leave me?

For months I haven’t had any sex because I haven’t felt attractive and I’ve spoken with friends and I think blogged about it on here. It feels like I’m stuck in a vicious cycle. I haven’t had sex because I don’t feel attractive but part of not feeling attractive comes from not having had sex. It’s a bit of a conundrum.

Today for the first time in a long time I felt horny and wanted casual sex. I was pottering about the house and I got a message on Grindr. There was a guy I’d chatted to before and he was keen so it was on. He was keen for something pretty much straight away which suited me down to the ground. Then he decided to have a quick shower before coming over. Obviously I’m not going to argue with that one. Then he just ghosted. Stopped responding to messages, never got any closer and just didn’t bother.

A few hours later someone else was saying, from 150metres away, I’ll be there in 15 minutes. Giving all this fantasy dirty talk detail about what would happen. Again, at the time he said he would be able to wander over, stopped responding, went offline and disappeared.

Of course being flaked on by two guys in the same day has made me feel so much more confident about myself. What a great feeling. Men can just go choke on their own cocks because I’m fucking over it.

Just because you can

The phrase “just because you can” works in two ways in my opinion. It can be an answer to the question to “why would I do that?” For instance I’m assuming most men masturbate just because they can and it feels good. It also works at the start of a sentence. “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”

This one is a very common thought of mine when it comes to photography. There is a photographer who is well regarded for his underwater photography and to be honest, 7-8 out of 10 shots that he shares online I don’t really care for. They look more like outtakes for me. Underwater photography is a very difficult medium and his technical work is great but I don’t think enough attention is paid to the position of the model etc. If you are going to embark on the challenge, do it right.

As a contrast to that, I’ve recently discovered the work of @followfelipe on Instagram. Most of his underwater photography is of his beautiful boyfriend @followandriy and there is a lot of attention paid not only to exposure and colour, but to the poses of his mode/boyfriend. Essentially a lot of photographers aren’t paying enough attention to culling shots. They want to share as many as possible from a shoot but sometimes that includes awkward facial expressions or poses. Don’t do it. Just because you can post it doesn’t mean you should. Actually that comment holds for a lot of photography.

Please excuse the arrows etc on the images above. I had to take screen shots of the images from Instagram.

Call it out

It’s always good to hear people taking a stand for the underdog. Support from unexpected quarters is always surprising and helpful. In the creative world I think there is a responsibility to be very aware of the impact that your words can have.

Eminem has been criticised in the past for his use of homophobic language and he tried to remedy that reputation when he performed with Elton John several years ago but I’m not sure the message has sunk in. On one of his new tracks, a diss track at another rapper, Tyler the Creator, he uses the term f*ggot, and it’s most certainly not used in a complimentary way.

This is where the unexpected support comes in. Dan Reynolds is lead singer for Imagine Dragons and he is not happy with Eminem and he tweeted “It’s never ok to say a word that is filled with hate. I don’t care what year you were born in or what meaning it has to you. If it contributes to hate and bigotry then it is hateful. period. There is never an ok time to say the word fa**ot. I don’t care who you are.”

Firstly I knew nothing of Dan Reynolds but the images that were used with the article that I saw show him waving a pride flag and wearing a “LoveLoud” T-Shirt. Awesome stuff. It also struck me just how sexy Dan is. That never goes astray.