Another thing on the menu…

Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Asexual. There are a lot of variations on human sexuality and some are treated with more legitimacy than others. Bisexual people, while having more options at the sexual buffet of life are constantly told that they just haven’t made up their mind what they hunger for. Those asexual folks seem to inspire shock or disbelief most of the time. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have no interest in sex at all.

A new one to me, thanks to the wonders of Tumblr is Solosexual. It basically means what you think it means. I found a guy in Melbourne, Australia who dabbles in penetrative or oral sex from time to time but for him the main course at the buffet is masturbation. Solo sexual doesn’t necessarily mean he’s eating alone. Most of the time he’s just not sharing his meal. This guy LOVES to jack off. He loves being watched jacking off, but can also happily masturbate for ages.

I love a good wank too and a wank with company is great fun but most of the time that just means I want to taste the other dishes on offer. The way a meal looks is only part of the fun. A meal shared is a real bonding experience.

Better get moving!

Tonight when I turned up at circus class, one of the girls there reminded me that I committed to doing a routine at the next performance night. I’d completely forgotten about that promise but now I have four weeks to get my sorry arse ready for a performance and put together a routine.

I’ve been trying for ages to find a piece of music that resonates for me and works well for a routine. When in doubt go with Kylie. I’ve always said there is a Kylie song for any occasion and this is another one of those times. Given the short time frame I pretty much had to decide tonight and the piece I’ve decided on is a camp burlesque rendition of Locomotion that Kylie did live in New York about six years ago. I’ll be going for laughs and saucy campery with this routine. In the past I’ve made the mistake of not having enough of a character to hide behind so a bit of a Frank’N’Furter vibe is what is going to happen.

Check out the Kylie version below.

A big step

Something I’ve been considering for a while now is taking up some wedding photography. After the privilege of shooting the wedding of my dear friends last year and how well the photos were received it’s been a growing idea in my head of late. With a car that needs replacing and a European adventure to save for it makes financial sense as well as the magic of being part of couples’ special day.

My focus would be low key weddings. I’m a bit scared at the thought of Bridezilla’s throwing tantrums so smaller intimate weddings would suit me down to the ground. People having alternative weddings or gay weddings would definitely appeal to me too.

My rates are very reasonable. If anyone knows anyone having a wedding that is yet to book a photographer send them my way and we can discuss all the options. Obviously in or around Sydney is the aim but if people want to pay for my travel then that is also up for discussion.

The first of the “Before” shots

It’s official, the 2016 Aussielicious Fitness Challenge is off and running. So far there are only two challengers but I know of at least one more that wants to take part and I’m sure others will want to join in along the way.

The two photos on the left are my “before” shots taken on Thursday morning at the gym. My goal is to lose a bit of body fat but keep some muscle and hopefully put some on. My butt needs to go back up a little bit closer to where it used to be too. Now that I’ve committed to a photo shoot in about 6 weeks I need to work hard.

Damien on the right is a long time friend of Aussielicious. Damien has been very open about his struggles with depression and also has some health issues which have stopped him doing much in the past. With a big geographical change in his living arrangements this challenge is giving him something to focus on. His goal is to lose some weight so that he can get back into a favourite past time of his from years ago. Damien used to be a professional Ballet dancer and would love to be light enough to do that again without any problems.

It’s all about the goals people! If you want to join in the 2016 Fitness Challenge just email in your “before” photos and join in the fun. By fun I mean sweat and tears.

It’s about setting goals… apparently

Aussielicious has featured the photographic work of Joel Devereux several times and I am lucky enough to now consider him a friend. He is heavily involved in the burlesque scene in Brisbane as well as shooting beautiful men and all sorts of imagery. Joel is currently working on a project called #FOODPORN that is destined to become an exhibition next year. Just a hunch but I’d see it becoming a very popular book too.

Joel is coming to Sydney to shoot in August and is hunting more models for the #FOODPORN series. I commented on his Facebook post that if I were younger and prettier that I would do it and Joel replied straight away that the project is open to guys of all age ranges. So what have I done? I’ve committed to getting nude in front of a camera covered in some kind of food substance instead of staying clothed and behind the camera.

That gives me almost three months to get my butt into shape and work hard in the gym. They do say it’s good to have goals and it fits in nicely with the Fitness Challenge giving me a half way progress report and good motivation. There is only so much food Joel can put on me before you don’t even see me so I do need to be in shape for it.

Above are a few of the images that he’s already shot for the series. It looks like a bunch of camptastic messy fun doesn’t it?

Celebrating narcissism

Instagram is now one of the mediums for people to become famous. Unlike some of the ways to achieve fame with Instagram you don’t really need to have any discernible talent. Mostly you have to be good looking and have an obsession with taking selfies. I guess that’s how the Kardashians make so much money. There are a couple of people I follow who break my previously mentioned rule about people who only post photos of themselves. Recently I thought I’d just see how many followers one of these guys has. He’s not a professional model from what I know which creates a reason to post a lot of images of yourself. He is hot and has a great body but his images aren’t wildly great. He has over 120 thousand followers.

It’s interesting that we celebrate so enthusiastically all these people whose entire world is themselves. There was an article on tv last night with tips for achieving Instagram success and making money from it and it was stick to your niche. If it’s a travel account just take photos of travel related things. If it’s food stick to food. I guess if you want fame for being self-obsessed (which seems to be a road to celebrity these days) just post photos of yourself.

And so it begins

This morning I dragged my arse to the gym to try one of the crossfit style circuit sessions that my gym does at 6.30 every morning. It’s actually a fairly simple but very effective circuit of about 8 workout stations. It only went for about 20 minutes so I’m now thinking that if I do that for 2 mornings along with some treadmill if I can get over my hatred of all cardio machines and then on the other mornings do some weights to keep some muscle.

I might even see if I can do a trial week at a full on crossfit box. Maybe. Maybe not. I don’t want to get sucked in to the crossfit world completely as it seemed to be quite addictive for a lot of people. That and it is quite expensive.

Remember when that Danish crossfit gym was going to start nude sessions but it turned out to be a hoax, but then it wasn’t entirely a hoax? If that kind of crossfit gym operated here in Sydney I’d be there. The two shots on either end above are from the shots that gym took as part of the hoax. So keep in mind that at some stage even if it was just for a photo shoot that gym actually had a bunch of nude guys working out. Sigh. The other is the ever sexy Khan Porter. Australia’s first professional crossfit athlete who has/had a habit of getting nude with mates. Bless.

The challenge is on!

It’s time to challenge myself, and to challenge you! I hinted that this might be happening before I left on my holiday and now that I’m back and I’ve looked at the photos I took of myself while away, it’s left me more certain than ever that it’s time to run another Fitness Challenge!

SO. Anyone that wants to take part needs to send a “before” photo in the next week or so. Then on the first of every month send in an update photo. If you are taking part you will need to tell us your goals and your motivations for doing the challenge. At the end of November we will share our “After” photos. There is no prize at this stage unless I come up with something in the process of the challenge.

I think we will run this for 6 months to give everyone a good chance to make some changes and progress. I know that I’m doing it to feel better but also of course for the aesthetic benefits that go along with it. At the moment I’m finding my flexibility and my strength have dwindled badly and I also feel as unattractive as I have ever felt. So what can I do to change it? Mix it up. Train harder and differently. Tomorrow morning I’m joining in with a circuit, almost crossfit style of class they have at my gym. It’s going to hurt.

The photo above is not my before shot. It’s an old shot of me from about 7 years ago that is my goal. I’m never going to be a DNA cover model, nor do I want to sacrifice all the fun in my life to look like one. My “Before” photo will be posted in the next couple of days along with any others that I get. Feel free to get friends to join you in the challenge. The more the merrier and the more motivation. A challenge is better shared!

And that was Bali

This morning the cold reality that my holiday was over as I landed in Sydney and the captain announced the temperature. It was about 9 degrees celsius at 6.15 this morning. After a week of 30+ it was a really rude shock.

Bali was not what I expected. Sure the beers and good food and laughs with friends were exactly what I wanted and thought but the chaotic streets were not. The Indonesian people are absolutely some of the nicest I’ve ever come across in my travels. They are so hospitable and eager to please with big beautiful smiles at the ready. This is probably why along with the low cost of travel there that it attracts a large element of what I would call the absolute worst of Australian travellers. Drunk and obnoxious bogans (rednecks/trash) expecting the whole country to change their culture to put up with the revolting devoid-of-class ways.

Thankfully there are also a lot of great travellers there to appreciate the culture and the food etc.

After a week of lying naked by the villa pool and seeing sights tomorrow I’m back to work. It’s going to be a bit bumpy.

See you soon!

I’ve finished work for the week and tomorrow morning I’m off on holiday. A week in hot weather with good friends is exactly what I need right now. Work has actually been fine but it’s been draining for the last couple of months and apart from the occasional long weekend for public holidays it’s been constant since Christmas. I’m certainly not complaining but I will definitely appreciate a week off eating great food and sharing drinks and laughs. It’s that good for the soul kind of stuff.

As much as Bali was never high on my list of places to see it’s always great to see new parts of the world. I love hearing different languages and seeing different cultures. Bali is very much set up for tourists so it’s not like I’m expecting an in depth immersion but it will still be great.

Whenever I take a plane somewhere I realised last year that I can’t help but smile. A plane to me represents an adventure. My latest adventure begins tomorrow. While there is a break on the blog be sure to follow me on instagram (@aussiebrenton) where there will be updates of my naked arse in the villa pool.

It’s a celebration!

Over the past couple of years I’ve become good friends with a couple that I met at the gym. They are great, low attitude high fun kinda people who are just good to be with. A couple of months ago another mate of mine became a wedding celebrant and I happened to be with Ms A having a drink at the pub when I found out that he’d qualified. Ms A and her man Mr B had gotten engaged on Christmas morning. When I told her about my friend she looked at me and said “Could you do that? Would you do that?” My answer was that yes, technically I could and of course I would.

So I have 14 months to do the course to become a wedding celebrant and be accepted. That process shouldn’t take any more than 9 months so I’m signing up as soon as I’m back from my holiday so that I can be a very important part of their special day. I’ve just had dinner and drinks with them and talked about the venue and bits and pieces and it is going to be so special to have the opportunity to officially marry these dear friends.

There is a very real danger, as the sappy romantic that I am, that I will cry the way I did the whole time I was photographing the wedding of my other dear mates last year. I was known at that wedding as the crying photographer and now I may add the crying celebrant to my list of titles.

This video has nothing to do with the story other than being called Celebration. It’s just an excuse to post an old vintage Kylie video that makes me smile.

If only I knew

A blog reader sent me a link tonight on Instagram. Someone had posted an old photo of me that I must have posted on this blog years ago. It is the shot above left. It may have also been stolen from an online profile ages ago and been floating around the internet. It’s kind of funny that someone is using my photo on Instagram but they didn’t actually claim it was them. Their page was filled with various guys that couldn’t possibly all be him.

I looked at the photo and thought wow. Firstly that I was taking such blatantly vain photos trying to be sexy. Maybe I was just getting in ahead of the smart phone selfie obsession? Secondly that I didn’t realise the good bits about my body at the time. I’ve never really appreciated my body when I was in shape and now it’s just getting harder to be in shape. At the time I was happy with how low I was in body fat but I was lucky, at the time I didn’t have to do anything to stay that way. On the flip side of that though is the struggle to put on muscle. Now it’s the opposite situation. I can put on muscle but it’s mostly quite insulated.

When I get back from Bali it might be time for another Aussielicious Fitness Challenge.

An old crush

Back in the early days of this blog I discovered the photography of Jon Andresen. That discovery was mainly thanks to seeing an image of this stunning man, Jarl Espen Ygranes. I blogged about him way back then and I recently stumbled across his images again. Jarl was a professional Ice Hockey player for the Norwegian national team and it clearly did wonders for his legs and butt. He also must have used his helmet and face protection well because he is all kinds of pretty and not busted up at all.

Jon Andresen has a very beautiful, if minimal aesthetic in his photography, relying on the beauty of his models instead of studio whizbangery. When you have Scandinavian gorgeous men of all varieties at your disposal, who needs trickery?

We should all be able to laugh

We can all safely agree that the acting and the script are not why we watch porn. If you are like me, any of the “story” is fast forwarded to the important, flesh on flesh action. God knows when I took photos on a porn shoot a decade ago the “script” was on a single sided piece of paper, double spaced. It was creatively titled “Cheaters” and involved four couples in a holiday house cheating on each other. Complex stuff. The script had amazing writing like the scene where one guy walked in to find two guys playing with a dildo and uttered the line “You bottoms need a real top.” Jane Austen eat your heart out.

This video takes all that and turns it on it’s head. Kind of. This appears to be real porn stars having real porn sex but instead of going to all the trouble of memorising their complicated and emotional lines, there are two comedians feeding them their lines through ear pieces. In all seriousness I don’t know how they kept a straight face and how Jake, the beefy sexy ginger porn guy, kept it up because the comedians had some fun with this.

Don’t think I qualify

Last week I was followed on Instagram by the Young Nudists of Australia. They liked a couple of my photos. I liked a couple of theirs, then next thing I know they’d sent me a direct message asking “Are you a part of Young Nudists of Australia yet?”

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m very flattered but as I pointed out to them, I don’t really consider 42 that young, especially in regard to an organisation that is promoting nudism amongst a demographic that is almost certainly put off nudism because it seems full of old/older people. I’m very much on board with encouraging people in their 20’s, 30’s or even teens to be comfortable nude which is exactly why I wouldn’t try and be involved in the organisation.

I have friends that I hang out nude with that are a decade or more younger than me and I have no problem with that. More importantly, neither do they but it’s human nature to socialise with people similar to you and as a nervous, new nudist I think a 20-something would prefer to be in the company of fellow 20-somethings rather than 40+.

I’ll take it as a compliment though that the YNOA thought I might be eligible. It proves that I’m either in decent shape or I’m choosing my Instagram nudes well.

Update: I didn’t make the decision that they wouldn’t want to hang out with me. It’s official policy that their members are 40 and under.