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Could it be?

This Sunday I’m shooting two guys at once for my tribal series. This will be the thirteenth shoot that I’ve done for this series over all. Two of the shoots won’t be included in the exhibition though. One because it didn’t really end up fitting with the tribal theme which was my fault as I hadn’t prepared for that shoot and fleshed out a concept properly. The other because it wasn’t a strong enough shoot and the model won’t let me use nudes online which is where all my marketing happens.

That leaves me with eleven usable shoots that I’m happy with, if Sunday’s shoot goes well. It will be the only shoot involving more than one model but it’s an idea that I’ve had in my head for a while now. As I don’t have a deadline to finish shooting this exhibition or actually stage it, there is room to shoot more images but once I’ve moved out of this apartment I lose access to the shooting space unfortunately.

I do have an idea for an image in the series that would be a stand alone piece and much larger but that needs more planning and thinking about. We’ll have to wait and see if that happens but it would be lovely if it did. It feels weird to have pretty much finished shooting for an exhibition without having one planned. Money is the issue at this stage but there are ways and means to get around that.

Let’s go below

I’ve never seen the show Below Deck on BRAVO but Kelley Johnson is a hot former marine that is on the show. On the show, Kelley is a deck hand who hails from Texas. As they say, everything is bigger in Texas and after I saw Kelley’s nude shot, I want to go below deck myself. He clearly keeps his rigging all ship shape and tidy, not a hair in sight. I’m quite fine with that, especially on a beautiful piece of rigging like that. He’s 27 and apparently not shy at all. Maybe it’s being out at see on a rocking boat but I really wish he’d hold that damn camera phone straight.

365 smiles

Today I turned 41 and it’s time for some changes. Sitting around catching up with a dear friend over the weekend that I haven’t seen in a few years, he gave me a gentle version of tough love. It’s time to cut the negative self talk, stop sabotaging myself and put myself out there.

My lack of confidence has become my armour. I don’t go out much to places where there are new people because I’m not confident anymore. I don’t have sex because I’m not confident. I didn’t rehearse my circus routine because I’m not confident. That’s rubbish. There’s only so long I can use past hurts as an excuse not to achieve or have a bit of fun. Yes there are very genuine insecurities there but they are holding me back now and there is no reason to let them.

A few years ago I had a conversation with my mother and something came up about me not being confident. Keep in mind that my mother is a firm believer in keeping your feet on the ground and not being arrogant in any way. When she realised that I had lost my confidence in a big way, even though she doesn’t know the ins and outs of why, she was shocked. My mother doesn’t throw compliments around willy nilly but she couldn’t fathom why or where I’d lost it. It was really nice to hear from my mother that she thought I had no reason not to be confident but it was also a bit of a surprise that even she was surprised how lacking in confidence I was.

So it’s time to shake things up. I’m going to do my best to post an instagram photo that makes me smile every day even if it proves rather challenging. I’m also going to do my darndest not to let my negative self-talk be the loudest voice in the room. As an extension of that, I’ve said I would do a performance at the end of next term for the open rig show. Time to get off my arse then! No more “I’m fat”. No more “I’m old”. I’m not. I’m 41, fit and healthy and I have a bloody good life.

Ross and Jamieson

Ross Watson has just released a new work which is another collaboration with actor and model Jamieson Caldwell. The new painting is featured in the middle above with two other paintings of Jamieson either side from Ross’ exhibition earlier this year. I’d not heard of Jamieson before but he’s making a name for himself taking on some interesting and varied rolesĀ  such as the Queen in Hamlet and now a play about an AFL player who likes to dress up as his alter-ego Carmen. Ross also tells me that Jamieson is Elton John’s favourite of all Ross’ models. We can see why Sir Elton might have an attraction.

Below is a video from the London opening of Ross’ exhibition, opened by the incredible Sir Ian McKellen who talks in the video about Ross work, as does the sexy Luke Evans who features in a piece. Luke is about to hit the big screen again as Dracula in the new adaptation of the story. I can only dream of having people of the caliber of Sir Ian McKellen at my exhibitions one day.

Can’t wait!

At the end of this month, Cirque Du Soleil brings their show Totem to Sydney and I’ve been lucky enough to get tickets to opening night. Cirque Du Soleil has spawned a lot of copy cat shows but no one quite does it the same way. I’ve seen several of their shows over the years and my favourite was definitely “O” in Las Vegas. The shows take you to another world and amaze you with their skill as well as the style and presentation. Let’s see what Totem has in store for me. Check out the trailer below.

In other circus news, tonight I’m supposed to be presenting my routine at class. I haven’t rehearsed it at all and am very tired after four nights of staying up late drinking and catching up with my friend that has been in town. Not at all a good preparation for the routine but it’s only for the class and the best I can do is just see how I go. I like the music and I am comfortable with the tricks I’m doing. Fingers crossed.

This gives me hope

Australia’s politicians have been embarrassing themselves with debate over security policy in our National Parliament in the past week or so, even suggesting that women wearing Burkas or head coverings should sit behind a glass divide even though they have gone through security checks to get into the building. Our own Prime Minister the ever embarrassing Tony Abbott has said he finds the Burka confronting.

Thankfully the team behind this video, a staged scenario of Anti-Islamic Bullying in public, has shown that your average Australian isn’t as gullible and ready to believe that all Muslims are terrorists as some would have us believe.


A mate of mine is staying with me visiting from a different state while he does a course here for a few days. Given that I live in a shared apartment and Sydney rental/property prices are stupid, we don’t have a spare bedroom so he’s crashing in bed with me. That’s not a drama at all as he’s the kind of friend that cuddling is definitely an option. There are no shenanigans going on as he has a lovely husband-to-be back at home. It’s been 3 years since I broke up with my last boyfriend and I haven’t had anyone sleep over in my bed since him so while I struggle to get a good night’s sleep with someone in the bed it’s SO very nice to have some cuddles. I am a big believer in touch and physical contact being good for the soul so spooning, while costing me sleep, is doing wonders for my mood.

In the past couple of weeks, with Spring arriving in Sydney and now having some cuddles, I’ve discovered that I’m solar powered as well as cuddle powered. I love it.

Apologies for being very blogging-quiet the last couple of days but I’ve had my mate here and we’ve been catching up so blogging had to take a back seat.

A few sales!

Over the past month I’ve actually sold a few prints. Two of the large prints from the Melbourne exhibition Company of Men have been sold, one to a buyer in Texas and another in Melbourne which is very exciting. The Melbourne buyer bought the image of Matteo from behind standing covered in talcum powder and said he’s hanging it next to a print he has by Michelangelo. That’s quite esteemed company to be next to. It’s fantastic that people are enjoying my work.

The other day a mate enquired about buying a print of Kieran in the pool, above after I shared it on Instagram. So I’ve now sold him a small print of that as well which is great. I’m pretty sure I’ve sold a print of that before to someone else but for the life of me I can’t remember who that was. Isn’t that terrible? If it was someone that reads the blog, send me an email or comment on this post and remind me. I don’t like I’ve forgotten who was nice enough to buy a print.

Evolution of an exhibitionist

Up until a few days ago the name Mike Hoffman had never been on my radar. That was until I saw something on Brent Everett’s twitter about some hot body builder finally showing us the goods after teasing his gay fans for ages. Turns out Mike has been popular on youtube for a while. Flexing and posing up a storm showing off the progress he’s making with his body. Looking at the shot on the left, compared with the other shots, he’s making massive progress. He’s added some ink along the way and now that he’s apparently just turned 18 he decided to post a jack off video complete with him licking the cum off his thumb at the end.

Now I have no idea how Mike classifies his sexuality, if he does at all but if he’s just trying to get gay fans, he’s going a long way to do it and probably doing it the right way. Mike is absolutely gorgeous and has that rocking body that he’s worked so hard on. Turns out he also has a really nice cock and some blow job lips that he does that lip biting sexy thing with. Making a huge assumption and throwing him in with a lot of body builders, he’s probably no genius. On the other hand, this could all be a very carefully planned strategy to achieve fame. Who knows. Keep it up Mike.


Last week I heard about a new collaboration that Pink was a part of. Going by her real name Alecia Moore and Dallas Green (aka City and Colour) had spoken about working together for a while and very spontaneously they recorded some music which I have to say is absolutely gorgeous. It’s very different to her work as Pink but just as lyrically honest and raw. Their beautiful song “Break the Cycle” (below) is a song about her mother. I’ve preordered their Rose Av. album and listened to the first couple of tracks over and over. It’s such gorgeous haunting music.

As much as I read a lot of blogs and things online, music blogs aren’t on my list generally. So it was a really pleasant surprise to hear of new music from Pink. I don’t listen to her albums often but they are good when you are in the mood for them and I think she’s a very talented woman and so refreshingly unscripted and honest. This album I think will be a regular listen.

Well hello Theo!

It’s no secret that I’m partial to reading books that are probably aimed at a younger market. Harry Potter, check. Twighlight, check. Hunger Games, check. Recently I’ve been reading the Divergent trilogy and on the weekend I got around to watching the movie of Divergent. Theo James plays a guy nicknamed “Four” in the film and from the first time I saw him I had a little bit of a crush. Maybe it was more like lustful thoughts about staring into those eyes while doing naughty adult things with him and wondering what those lips feel like. When I watched the behind the scenes features I heard his real accent. He’s British and has the most gorgeous accent.

Born in Oxford, England in 1984 his full real name is Theodore Peter James Kinnairrd Taptiklis. His grandfather on his father’s side is Greek, hence the name. I think it also has something to do with his beautiful olive skin and dark bedroom eyes. He is six foot tall and just a whole bunch of gorgeous. Now I’ll have to see the sequels when they get made.

I’m very sorry!

A couple of weeks ago Australia changed it’s terrorist threat warnings to High Risk after several years at moderate. Police raided homes of people suspected of being involved in terrorist plots and arrests were made. They filled the news with the success of their operation saying they’d foiled several imminent attacks including public beheadings of random civilians. That’s all awesome if it is true. Yes, Isis is very vocal and active at the moment but part of me suspects that most of this is a ploy to distract the Australian public from the awful job our government is doing in every other aspect.

Our Prime Minister is making an embarrassment of us on a global stage by removing environmental protections, cutting funding to health, education, pensions and increasing taxes. Generally speaking, he’s still trying to blame the previous government for leaving Australia in a mess. He’s been in power for over a year and the previous government and the ones before that had Australia in a very very good position financially.

As a result of his own home-grown war on terror innocent Muslim people in Australia, and those that look like they might be, are being attacked. A man was arrested walking through a muslim school with a knife last week and just today a muslim woman was violently attacked by a caucasian woman on a train. Why do we allow catholic nuns to wear a habit and say it’s an expression of their faith but muslim women wearing the burka or other head coverings are clearly oppressed and probably beaten? Nearly a quarter of the world’s population (approximately 1.6 billion out of 7 billion) are muslim. If it is such a supposedly violent religion don’t you think it’s followers would have wiped the rest of us out by now? As the tweet above says, Muslims see Isis and other extremists exactly the way christians see the Westboro Baptists.

On behalf of all Australians, I apologise to all innocent Muslims for feeling unsafe going about your daily lives because Tony Abbott is whipping the hysterical minority into a fearful frenzy.

Just lighten up

There has been a bit of a scandal here in Australia today. It’s just a little one but it’s made the news. On the weekend at the AFL Grand Final the Hawthorn team absolutely whipped the Sydney Swans team. A guy called Rob Mills who was in the first season of Australian Idol and has gone on to do some acting and appeared in a few big musical productions such as Grease here in Australia, posted an image of a lego man dressed in the swans uniform bent over effectively being fucked by the Hawthorn lego man. Juvenile, yes. Funny, kinda. Homophobic? Ah, no.

A lot of politically correct people are “outraged” that he’s been so homophobic by suggesting that taking it up the arse is a penalty to be taken by a losing sportsman… some bullshit like that anyway. Maybe it wasn’t the wisest choice of image to post for someone in the public eye but really? Who is that sensitive? Rob Mills is a very vocal supporter of the LGBT community and activist for marriage equality. The man sings in musical theatre for goodness sake. If he were homophobic he’d never work in that industry. I think we need to pick our outrage a little more carefully or the LGBT “community” is going to sound like the boy that cried wolf every time we complain about something being a little bit mean.

A fun collaboration

Art is a very different experience for each person. I’ve just had an hour or two at the Museum of Contemporary Art here in Sydney with an old school friend and her two children. Trying to explain to the kids why there was a room full of cushions that seemed to be “breathing” with images of body parts printed on them, including a cushion with a breathing vagina, was quite entertaining and caused a lot of giggles.

I recently came across a collaboration that struck a cord with me for obvious reasons. Ruben Van Schalm has done a photographic spread for Supplementaire magazine called “A Night In The Park”. The photographs appear to be a young man, model Ran Moneta, nude in a city park at night. We all know I’m partial to being nude outdoors and I have actually been nude at night in a couple of the big parks here in Sydney which is a slightly spooky but also quite sexy experience. Also highly illegal here.

The photos don’t suggest anything sexual or even naughty. They seem to suggest a spontaneous moment of freedom late at night for a guy who finds himself alone in the park. It looks like fun. I wonder how long the model was running around nude that night and whether or not they had permission?

Not sure I believe it.

The term gay-for-pay has taken off over the last few years and while part of me thinks it’s a good thing that stigmas are so reduced that straight men can have gay sex on film I’m not actually sure that I believe them. If they are genuinely straight then money must be a real turn on for some guys or their egos will take a good stroking from anywhere to be satisfied. I know a couple of directors don’t like working with gay-for-pay guys because they don’t like to suck dick etc. Paddy O’Brian (above right) is yet to suck dick on film. He claims he’s just a sexual being and has been fucked as well as topping a lot on film but thinks for some reason that sucking cock is too gay. Really? What about the dick in your arse mate?

Sebastian Young (above left) is another gay-for-pay guy that is getting attention lately. He doesn’t seem to have any limits on what he’ll do on film with a guy, topping, bottoming, sucking even doing a watersports film for Lucas Raunch label. He’s a hot guy but most of his attention is for being thrown in jail. Oops.

Why do gay men buy into the straight men having sex thing? Is it really any hotter if we believe the guy is straight? I know a lot of guys have a fantasy to convert a straight man but for me I’d rather sleep with someone who really wants to be there. If they are really keen then at best they are bi. I had an experience with a guy in London. He was a hot rugged tattoed ex military guy but once we got to my room he had a severe attack of the nerves and wouldn’t do anything. It was rather an anti-climax.

As for gay-for-pay porn stars. If they look convincingly like they are having a good time and into it then I can enjoy it but sometimes you see guys that are clearly doing it for the money. Anyone that flinches if a guy cums near or on them isn’t really doing it for me.