Today on my instagram story I posted that I wanted to go on a date and asked how do I make that happen?

Essentially all the responses have been “organise and orgy”, “Grindr” and answers in that vein. Why are the gays so obsessed with sex. Sure there is a valid argument for making sure there is a sexual chemistry but isn’t there also an argument for just having a conversation, a laugh and a drink with someone?

I get very frustrated with the focus and emphasis on sex. In a conversation about it this evening I said I wanted monogamy and they replied “monogamy is hard.” Sure. So is anything worth having. I’ve seen several relationships die because they spent time looking for random hookups outside the relationship that had they spent it on the relationship, would have been fine. Open relationships can work. It’s not what I want and I’m sick to death of being ridiculed for wanting to give it a try.

People throw the term “Heteronormative” around as a way to criticise monogamy or marriage. I am surrounded by great examples of healthy, happy straight, monogamous relationships and I have no problem with emulating that if their happiness is anything to go by.

All these couples who prioritise sex over real connections, where will they be when their dick stops working?