The art of taking a dick pic is one that clearly some people have a talent for and others do not. Grindr is fraught with danger at the best of times with time wasters, fake pictures and just a lot of time wasting going on. Maybe being a photographer has given me a skewed perspective on things but I look at some of the photos that people post and think “Is that really the angle you think is best?” Hint, selfies never look good when the phone is at belly button height and you’re looking down at it.

In recent times I’ve been both pleasantly surprised and very underwhelmed when someone has turned up and the real-life dick makes it’s appearance and it has either been under-sold or over-promised in the photo department in the conversation beforehand.

How are people taking such misleading photos of their cocks? Sure, we try and take flattering photos but blatantly misleading is a bit unfair. Last week a guy came around and it had looked like a healthy average human sized cock in the photo he’d sent. When it made it’s appearance in reality it was much smaller. It certainly did not reach the required height to ride the rollercoaster.

A pro tip is to keep an eye out in the photo for other points of reference. How big is his hand in relation to the cock? If his index finger can hide the whole thing, back away. One guy recently sent what I hope were photos that didn’t do him justice. The poor thing looked tiny but he didn’t seem to have any sense of comprehension about it when he asked me “Can you deep throat?” Sorry mate, not that one. It would barely make it past my teeth.