I don’t know about you but I know that I can fall in mini-love on the train of a morning or at the gym or in today’s case with someone I have seen at the cafe.

There is a guy who is probably barely 30 and he is so typically my type it is ridiculous. Clean cut, athletic, broad shoulders and completely unavailable. On this gloomy Sunday morning in Sydney I went to the cafe under my apartment for breakfast and just before I finished he turned up. I’ve seen him in the area a bit and was already developing a crush.

When I went in to pay I made a joke to the owners who I chat to all the time, about falling in love with hot straight guys. They laughed and said that it’s harder because he’s actually a really nice guy. Very polite and friendly all the time.

He also has a really cool dog. It’s a solid-as-hell bull dog but it looks really friendly and he clearly loves it. How do I tell him I’m ready to co-parent his dog with him?