We all know that Grindr is a magical world of rudeness, delusion, lies and opportunism. Sometimes it can be good for some sex, but mostly the other stuff.

Last week I was hit up by a 19 year old. NINETEEN! At first it was the usual, barely literate message alluding to a hookup. I think he said I was hot which I thanked him for, wondering why a 19 year old was interested in a 45 year old. Then he sent a one word message saying “Help”.

Now at first I wondered if he was in trouble. Was someone coercing him into something. Had he been kidnapped or something. Nope. I asked him what was wrong and the next message launched into a spiel about being broke and having no money etc etc.

Maybe I’m way too cynical and he genuinely did need financial help but all I read was “Scam, scam, money, scam”. If you can afford to pay for a smart phone then you can eat. If someone is genuinely in trouble they aren’t going to hit up complete strangers on Grindr for cash.

Sorry buddy, you’re shit out of luck with this cynical middle-aged homo. He was blocked by the time I finished reading the message.