In the 18 years since I came out to my family, every now and then I’ve been a little put out that my mother never asks if I’m seeing someone or how things are going. Then I realise, she doesn’t do that with anyone.
My mum is pretty old school. She has very strong opinions about things but she keeps them to herself. She’s not one to make waves nor is she one to air her dirty laundry. Last night I was chatting to her and they are off to my cousin’s wedding and they are sharing a house with some family friends. One of those friends is a woman who is just a few years younger than my parents, so late 60’s. My mother referred to her partner as her “friend” John.
It was then that I realised that not only does she not ask me about my private life, she doesn’t ask my happily married sister, nor anyone. She is no doubt assuming that the family friend and her “friend” are a couple but it’s none of her business as to the nature of the relationship or what to call it.
It’s about as equal as you can get really. Treat everyone the same and I’m fine with that.