Every now and then the internet throws something at you that gives you a flashback.

LONG before I was ready to admit to myself that I was gay, at the age of about 11 or 12 I was at a school mate’s place and we were watching a movie called Paradise with Willie Aames and Phoebe Cates. If you think of a poor man’s version of Blue Lagoon you’re about close. Just like the more iconic Blue Lagoon it featured a love story of a young guy and a girl and it also had some nudity. The gif above is from a scene where they were skinny dipping and my friend and I were, at such a young age pretty transfixed by the nakedness.

How on earth I didn’t know I was gay I will never know. In this scene we kept rewinding the VHS to watch it over and over again but my mate couldn’t understand why I kept going so far back to see Willie swim through first. I’m pretty sure I just pretended that I was slow with my reflexes.

So looking back there were very clear indications at about the time I was starting puberty that men were going to be the focus in my life instead of women.

I’m sure many of you have similar stories of your first inklings of being gay. Feel free to leave those stories in the comments.