This morning, perusing my Facebook feed I happened upon a post by a guy I know having a bit of a rant, naming and shaming another guy that I’ve known vaguely in an online context for a while. The subject of the rant had (evidenced by a screen shot of a now deleted post) been on a moral high horse about the “sanctity of marriage” and judging up a storm about people in open relationships. Essentially asking “why get married?” but serving it up with a lot of shade.

As we all know, I used to rail against open relationships and even now, for myself I aspire to a monogamous relationship if I ever find myself in a long term situation. My position has changed over the years on open relationships and I know several that seem to work perfectly fine in various forms.

The comment thread on the rant got a bit bitchy and horrible which I didn’t really care for but I am working on the assumption that it was inspired by the person who does have a habit of stirring up trouble and being thoroughly odd. It would seem there is a stunning lack of self awareness but an abundance of self absorption going on with him so of course he can preach all he likes, judging everyone else’s relationship right?

I would have thought as a community that gay men might have moved past slut shaming. Apparently not. To throw around the “sanctity of marriage” line makes him as bad as the suburban “christians” who cheat on their wives or husbands but just don’t give their partner the respect of discussing it first. Surely a healthy, agreed open relationship is a lot better than a miserable marriage where one or both parties might cheat?

Go out, have all the consensual sex you want. Get caught up in that and stop worrying about what other couples are doing or not doing.