I’m always intrigued by how people choose to define themselves to the rest of the world. Sometimes that very much aligns with how the rest of the world sees them and sometimes it doesn’t. We all know someone that will tell anyone who stands still for a moment that they are crazy “just ask my friends!” when really they are not at all.

One area that I’ve noticed that people choose to define themselves is in their choice of a screen name or profile name online. On grindr or Scruff etc it seems perfectly logical to choose a sexual term to define yourself as that is what the purpose of those apps is. Don’t tell me they are for dating because I will give you a sceptical face. It’s when those sexual definitions of yourself spill over into the non-sexual world that intrigues me.

Someone I’ve known in vague online terms for a while has an Instagram name that incorporates very specifically one of his sexual practices. Is it really important for your mother, sister and all of your Instagram followers, when looking at your holiday shots or photos of your food, to know what you get up to in bed? I have no problem with whatever sexual choices someone makes unless it’s illegal and/or hurts someone else. That part I don’t care about but I don’t think it’s really appropriate or necessary to use your sexual adventures to define to the world who you are. When I was coming up with my not-very-creative Instagram of @aussiebrenton I didn’t at all contemplate using @bumsex or @watchingpeoplefuckisfun. To be fair if it were to accurately describe my sex life it would be @myrighthandistired.

I know we are all out and proud gay men and people have very active sex drives but let’s stay classy people.