The last couple of weeks have been a struggle. Work has been a source of frustration, tension and tiredness. Nothing horrendous is going on, it’s just a period of change, mess and a bit of chaos at the moment and that is going to be short lived.
My gym routine has been nothing but pathetic. I’m barely going, let alone training properly at all, which is frustrating since I have a trip to Bali in two weeks and I would rather be in shape than out of it for that but I know the friends I’m going with don’t care.

Last week I had a dinner with a guy that has been reading my blog for years and he said that he thinks I’m too hard on myself. Deep down I know that but it’s been playing on my mind. Sadly it hasn’t brought on any epiphany and change. It seems to have made me more self conscious if anything. There’s no doubt that this glum phase will pass and hopefully soon, but right now I feel like curling up in a ball and retreating from the world.

This weekend I have a friend arriving to town. He is one of the guys whose wedding I photographed last year. He and his husband were in town a couple of months ago for a visit and his husband dropped by briefly a few weeks ago. The guys are great and it will be fantastic to spend some time with him while he is here. They are both the kind of friends that I can have a really good cuddle from and a good cuddle will do wonders for my disposition right now.

Dimitry (above) is my gymspiration for today. I have no desire to work out so much that I look like him. Life is too full of good food to do that but it is inspiration to get my butt to the gym in time for Bali.