On the weekend I took myself off to the movies by myself. All of my mates were busy and I was itching to get out of the house and right in the mood for a movie. As I was walking up the road to have something to eat before going to the cinema I had a thought that I’ve had before. This is going to sound much more melancholy than I intend it to even though it does get me down at times.
Most of my closest friends are in relationships. Not all but most. The thought that occurred to me was that I’m no one’s first priority. My friends in relationships are each other’s first priority obviously, as are my parents to each other and my sister and her husband. That kind of scares me at times. In the short term it means that I play second fiddle to all my friends and their partners. In the long term, who is going to look after me in my old age? Sometimes these thoughts are very emotional and a bit troubling, at other times they are merely practical issues.
When I’m old and going insane and unable to look after myself, I certainly don’t want to be a burden or a hassle for my niece and nephew so I have to make sure I look after myself both physically and financially so that when the time comes there are no issues.
In the meantime, maybe I just have to take myself on movie dates more often. At least being single means I get to do what I want. If I want to get up at a ridiculous hour to photograph a sunrise, I will.