A reader of this blog lives somewhere near where I live and we have chatted from time to time on Scruff. He’s only a handful of years older than me but has a very different sex life to mine. While my confidence has gotten worse over the last 5-10 years and my insecurities mean that I don’t have a lot of sex he has gone quite the opposite way. He has found himself revelling in his “daddy” status and is quite happy sticking to uncomplicated, detached sex mostly with younger guys. Mr Scruff even has some luck with the straight-but-curious crowd.
There is absolutely no judgement in any of this post by the way. I’m speaking in general terms and don’t claim to be an expert on any of this. I find it fascinating that a lot of gay men are happy having a lot of casual/anonymous sex because it’s less emotionally involved and therefore less risky for them. There are also quite a lot of guys who only have sex while wired on meth or other drugs and a couple have told me they are actually not sure they can have sober sex anymore which does actually scare me.
For me, my lack of confidence means I have gone the other way. I’d feel so much happier and more confident about sex if I had someone I trusted and felt comfortable with. A boyfriend would be great but even a regular fuck bud who is patient and has a similar sexual appetite would probably do wonders for me. Who knows if it will ever happen.