If you are one of the new breed of homosexuals who is devoted to the gym, #lifting #gains or getting #swole then you will know that if you don’t post selfies showing those #gains then you’ve wasted your time. Why is this? The reason is simple. If you are as devoted to your #lifting life as you should be then there is no other way of your friends knowing what is going on in your life unless they are chasing #gains with you. Why is this? Because you are only ever seen in the gym. The only photographs you post instagram are of yourself or your identical significant other who goes by #boyfriend online obviously.

If anyone else features on your instagram account with you then it must be a shoutout telling your followers to also check out your #lifting mate whose instagram handle must then be posted at least five times followed by the mandatory string of almost irrelevant hashtags. There will be no instagramming of sight-seeing, landmarks, non#lifting friends or other such trivialities because you will never find a #boyfriend if you don’t show him that you are #swole enough and devoted to your #lifting #gains.

True love isn’t measured by romantic dinners or nights spent on the lounge together. It’s measured by the bland chicken breast meals you prepare for the week together and your combined supplement budget. Oh and the occasional appearance on each other’s instagram. #love #lifting #swole #gains #muscle