In previous editions of Etiquette for the Modern Homosexual we’ve looked at the need to keep your life free of clutter such as hobbies and interests with the goal of giving prospective suitors space to fit in to your life.

In this installment we need to cover the FML approach. When one is using social media there is a temptation to embellish one’s life. This could work for some suitors but most will only be put off if one seems to have one’s perfect life. How will they ever make a good impression if one is already having the time of one’s life? This is the situation where it is best that one takes a leaf out of the book of gen-whine. FML is short for “Fuck my life” and is commonly used to make it seem like one’s life is almost intolerable, especially in such dire situations as having one’s ipod headphones tangled or one’s battery running low. How on earth is one expected so survive such traumatic experiences? There is a treatment for cancer and clinical depression is such a doddle when confronted with a latté that isn’t quite perfect.

If you choose to employ the FML strategy on social media all those men that might have otherwise been scared off will be so deliciously tempted by your hard-fought struggles with life that they’ll want to walk that difficult road with you, fighting the perfect travesty of fashion or tv viewing with you.