Social media is a funny mistress. We all put so much importance on whether someone has unfriended us or not, or how many friends we have. A friend was recently quite put out by someone unfriending him on facebook even though he said he wasn’t. In reality they never hang out and never chat so why the fuss?
Today I had a friend request from someone that I’d deleted a couple of years ago for my own sanity. Anyone that has been reading the blog from the start might remember I was involved with an American guy long distance and it didn’t end well. He was the starting point of me losing all my self confidence around sex. We all know that once foundations become shaky then it’s very easy for things to crumble which is what happened to my confidence. We stayed in touch for a while after the dramatic end to our dalliance. After a few years of being friends on facebook but not being in touch I realised I didn’t need those occasional updates to surprise me out of the blue anymore so I deleted him.
As a result, we haven’t been in touch for a few years and while he is a nice guy and there was no malicious intent to what happened, it happened and I’m a bit broken because of it. So there is no need to make polite chit chat over social media across the Pacific Ocean and for me to hear how easily he moved on and did indeed end up happily in a relationship that he told me he wasn’t ready for.
The last few days I’ve been very blue in general and specifically about my single status. Sometimes no matter how many great friends you have and how busy you are, that missing someone special can feel like much more of a hole than it really deserves to. Maybe seeing a request from Mike was a wake up call to try and truly let all that go.