Is it human nature to want to destroy things if we can’t have them or don’t want them anymore? Today I was talking to a guy that I don’t really know very well about relationships. I’d been told he is pretty much that guy that is determined to be single. After today’s conversation that is definitely true. He had been very happy being single for years but not long ago ended up in a relationship that hasn’t worked out. Today he was calling himself “damaged goods” and determined to never be in a relationship again. Thankfully for him, he is a very sexual guy and more than happy to have a lot of casual sex and get his emotional stuff from friends.
My emotional bruising from a relationship several years ago had the opposite effect. He wasn’t ready for a relationship so rather than take the healthy approach and have a discussion, he decided that crippling my sexual confidence was the way to go. That was a long time ago and while it’s still a problem, it’s slowly getting better. Unlike my friend, being hurt has for me only reinforced my knowledge that I want an affectionate monogamous relationship. Maybe part of that is because in my head it will prove that I’m “Good enough” which is something I haven’t felt in a long time.
Back to my question at the start of this post. Is it human nature to have to hurt someone when we break up with them or to avoid being with them? Or is it something we learn because people have done it to us? This is why we can’t have nice things.
I’m always a little envious of those people that end up with their first love because they never have that baggage from horrendous dating and breakups. Can we all agree to just treat each other nicely from now on? Please?