My New Year’s Eve plans last night didn’t quite go to plan. My friends’ house party started early and I arrived at 5pm and without my knowledge someone had set my drinking speed to FAST. You know you are drinking too much too quickly when you think someone is stealing your vodka but they weren’t. Oops. At 11pm I was getting that very uncomfortably drunk feeling where sitting down outside wasn’t working, sitting inside wasn’t working and I only had one option. That option was to smokebomb it out of there and just disappear. No goodbyes, no excuses. So by 11.30 I had walked the few hundred metres home, been ill and was asleep in a bed that didn’t spin when I bought it but did last night.

That’s right. I missed midnight with my friends. On the positive side, there was no awkward moment wondering who to give a hug to first. It also meant because I got everything out of my system last night, that I woke up relatively early and feeling fresh(ish) this morning. So I headed to my happy place, the nude beach.

At one point I noticed a guy lying a bit further up the beach who from where I was sitting seemed to be rather blessed in the appendage department. A little while later he got up to walk into the water and go for a swim and I’m wondering how he didn’t fall over with all that weight out in front. To be perfectly truthful, I have never seen a flaccid cock that large in person. I’ve seen photos and always assume there’s some fluffing or photoshop involved but this thing was right in front of me. It’s always the skinny guys. He was a tall, kinda lanky guy who just happened to have three legs. Amazing.

This afternoon I have spent a very relaxed new year’s day naked about the house. All in all a good start to the year.