In the previous instalment of Etiquette for the Modern Homosexual one was praising the use of a good old fashioned insult when trying to capture the attention of a potential suitor. If one doesn’t have the fortitude to outright insult someone, as it can be quite challenging, perhaps one should contemplate a very well placed compliment but served with a large helping of backhand.

Just this morning one received, after a short conversation with a man 15 years my junior, two of these backhanded compliments. The first was “You’re really hot for a 40 year old.” It’s important to have that little disclaimer tacked on to a compliment just so you don’t seem too keen. This was followed a little while later with “I bet you are really hot when you were younger.” That particular compliment had the backhander included in a few different ways. Firstly the mixing of past and present tense served to emphasise just how old one is because when one was at school we learnt at least the basics of the English language. Secondly the gentleman was pointing out how youthful and apparently more attractive he is while at the same time referencing that while one may have been hot myself several years ago, there is barely a trace of that left.

This exchange got one so worked up and excited about future backhanded compliments that one accidentally hit the block button.