I had one of those weekends where I was inexplicably emotional. I had a great catchup with a mate for a couple of beers on Saturday afternoon then a really lovely dinner with good friends on Saturday night but for some reason I was feeling a bit delicate. Today I was chatting with a couple of friends on facebook and the topic of confidence came up. One of my mates just has confidence. He’s that ballsy kinda guy that will walk up to someone if he thinks they are hot and just flirt with them. He claims he has insecurities like everyone else but he doesn’t let it stop him.

One of the friends today was envious of all the hot guys at the gym who have so much confidence because of how they look. Sure, some beautiful people are confident but I’ve met a lot of really beautiful people who are more neurotic and insecure about their looks than anyone. Maybe it’s because they feel a need to live up to it or maybe it’s because they don’t see it so they are fighting to reconcile what others are telling them with what they see in the mirror.

I’m still fighting with my insecurities and my demons and sadly at the moment they are winning. Sex and dating are nearly non-existent for me at the moment because I don’t feel attractive and dating feels like banging my head on a brick wall. I am still working on it though and enjoying all the other aspects of life.