A reader sent me a lengthy comment on my post about my dating misadventures of a couple of days ago. He wasn’t, as he was careful to let me know, attacking me but questioning whether contradictions in things I say and do were genuine or perhaps a mis-portrayal of myself. So I’m going to clear a few things up that were mentioned in his message.
The comment pointed out that I say I admire real and genuine guys and that’s what I look for in a man but I constantly post about beautiful models and photograph beautiful men that are unattainable ideals perhaps for most of us to reach. Very true. I don’t want to date a supermodel. They are all very pretty to look at but they are usually a lot younger than me and why would I want to date someone that would only exacerbate my insecurities? The guys I photograph are gorgeous in a variety of ways but very few of them are professional models. Is there a slight chance that maybe I photograph real guys well? Sure I’m not photographing obese guys or anything and they are genuinely good looking but my photography ain’t bad either!
Another point that was mentioned is that I have no problem with casual sex but that I want romance and a monogamous relationship. Can’t that be true? I’m single and feel perfectly at ease with having casual sex if I’m in the mood. The same goes for everyone. If the sex is mutually agreeable, consensual and what both parties (or all parties) are after, then I say go for it. Everyone has needs and yes I’m very much in need of some wild sex but ultimately I’d prefer sex with a connection and meaning with someone special that I get to wake up with every day.
Part of me is rather extroverted in that I definitely feed off the energy of others and being around people. Extroverted doesn’t necessarily mean I like to be the centre of attention. If I’m doing an aerial silks routine I get very nervous before hand and being the centre of attention is part of the deal with performing but I also like to have a costume and character to hind behind because performing isn’t natural or easy for me but we all appreciate people enjoying something we’ve worked hard at.
The commenter suggested that maybe these perceived inconsistencies might put potential dates off as being “fake” but I wear my heart on my sleeve and everything I post is pretty much exactly what I’m feeling or thinking at the time. Maybe it goes hand in hand with being a Libran and everything needing to balance out? I don’t know.