I’ve just walked in the house after a couple of hours catch up with one of my “What if” guys. I’m not sure that this evening was the best time to catch up with him given that I had a creeper hangover today. You know those hangovers where you wake up thinking that you’ve dodged a bullet but you get worse as the day goes on? That was me today. So feeling tired and emotional and catching up with someone that you have a real emotional soft spot and physical hard spot for is not a great plan.

It’s been about 4 years or so since I last ran into him and at least a few more years on top of that since we really chatted. When I met him he was only 22 or so and he’s now 30. Back then I found him very physically attractive as well as being a really nice guy. Catching up tonight, we had time to really chat properly about our lives and experiences and he has become even more of a fantastic guy while losing none of the physical attraction. On the other hand I feel like I’ve picked up more and more emotional baggage and lost a lot of my physical charms that I may have had back then.

It is very doubtful that he would even entertain the idea of dating even if we did live in the same city or had lives that intersected a bit more. I’m not even sure I think it would be a great idea, but walking out of the pub this evening, in my weakened emotional state with a hangover, I left him with another mutual friend to come home and had to actually fight off tears as I was walking to my car. He is the kind of person that is loyal to his friends to the point he would do anything to look after you and make sure you are ok. He’s very intelligent, down to earth, a larrikin, has a wicked sense of humour and is just fantastic but without even a whiff of arrogance. Some day I hope that someone is lucky enough to have him as a partner because he is one guy that would make someone feel so special.