While I was staying on the Big Island of Hawaii, I was checking on Scruff to see if there was anyone I might like to play with nearby. There were a few candidates but the Big Island is very small in terms of population so, especially in the area I was in, new faces get lots of messages. I was chatting to a guy who was staying in Kona on the other side of the island. We flirted a bit but then later in my week there he sent a message saying “So when are we going to fuck?” I responded that there was no way I was driving three hours for a shag. To which he said “Wow you run hot and cold don’t you?”

I went back through our messages and pointed out that not once had I ever promised that we’d actually meet, nor did I ever offer to drive all the way over there. If he thought I was that worthy of a shag couldn’t HE have driven the three hours to meet me? Just because we’ve had a bit of a flirt and traded compliments doesn’t mean that I want to get married or make all the effort to hook up when he’s willing to make no effort.

The trouble with apps like Scruff is that it’s so easy to misinterpret messages or just completely forget common courtesy. I’m always stunned at how many people open the dialogue with “wanna fuck?”, “Come dump a load” or something as delightfully polite. Guys, please. I know you are horny and your dick is probably in your other hand but there is no need to be a dick while you play with yours.