Etiquette for the modern homosexual #27

We have all had a crush on someone or lusted after someone that we see on the periphery of our daily life at some stage or another. It’s important that if you have a lust object or crush in your life that  you do NOT do anything about it. Surely one day they will sense your attraction so there is no need to verbalise it or even talk to them. Destiny will work it’s magic and the two of you will be thrown together.

For example, if one had a crush on a gentleman that one saw regularly at the gym, it’s crucial that it never go past that nod of recognition as you walk through the space. One wouldn’t want to come on too strongly. Of course, it’s not ideal when said gym crush stops turning up and one doesn’t see him for a few months. Not ideal at all. So when gym crush turns up a few months later in a supermarket one is shopping in, and instigates a conversation over the bananas in the produce section, one shouldn’t appear interested. If gym crush looks up from the bunch of bananas you’ve both reached for at the same time and says “I know you from somewhere” you can be forgiven for the out burst of “Yes, you used to go to my gym but I haven’t seen you there in a while.” He caught one off guard and one happened to accidentally let one’s real interest show momentarily. It’s much more suitable that one recovered composure and didn’t bother offering gym crush one’s number or ask gym crush to go for coffee. That would have been frightfully impetuous and forward. Best leave it another 4 months or so and hope to goodness one runs into him again.

One might just have to shop at said supermarket every morning until gym crush realises he can’t live without me one.

6 Responses to “Etiquette for the modern homosexual #27”


  1. 1 Richard

    Oscar Hammerstein said it best, “Some Enchanted Evening”.

  2. 2 Boris

    This is exactly what I was telling you last night. Always ask yourself, what is the absolute worst thing that can happen if you ask him out? He says no! Big deal! The world keep spinning… Kylie keeps spinning and the next Superman that come along who is straight and made from unobtanium will have you spinning… again… so you have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain. So give it a spin and ask him out.

  3. 3 Sue

    You are pathetic.

  4. 4 Damien

    SUE !!!

    Brenton – what have we said – BUSINESS CARDS !!!!!!

  5. 5 Damien

    SUE !!!

    Brenton – what have we said – BUSINESS CARDS !!!!!!

  6. 6 BosGuy

    Hmm… are you saying your gym crush reached for your banana? LOL

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