I could be wrong on this one but I think a change is coming. In just the past few months I’ve heard of a couple of groups that are trying to change the landscape for gay men in terms of how we meet and how we interact. First came Big Balls Out which has been a great success and is a different kind of night for the gay community to meet, socialise and interact. A fun, lighthearted night of ten pin bowling celebrating and embracing a diverse cross section of the LGBT community here in Sydney. Both events have had older and younger, male and female groups all mixing with huge smiles on their faces. The night isn’t about hooking up or trying to seduce the guy two lanes over, but maybe meeting him and saying hi then getting his number to meet up for coffee or whatever.
The second group that has come to my attention is Kaliido. It’s an online community that is just starting out in beta testing at the moment, but will also become a smart phone app for guys that are after something a bit more substantial than immediate sexual gratification. It’s about having a deeper conversation with someone than asking about their cock size and what they like to do once the clothes come off. The Kaliido blog is up and running in it’s early stages at the moment and I’ve been contributing a couple of blog posts from Aussielicious that seem relevant as well.
Just the other day I was invited to an event on facebook called People, Not Profiles that, like Kaliido and Big Balls Out is an event that isn’t in a club where people are likely to be a little bit altered or in a sexual kind of mindset, but rather a big picnic in one of Sydney’s beautiful parks. People can bring their dogs, their kids or whatever they like and get to know people they might not normally come across.
The important thing about all these groups is that no one is saying there is anything wrong with the Grindr/Scruff model and there is no need to be completely prudish about meeting someone. If you want to tear their clothes off and they are willing, go for it. There are no rules when it comes to what does and does not work for meeting people and putting yourself in a position to find a relationship, but sometimes there needs to be other options.