Why do we do this to ourselves? And by we, I mean me. The last week or so I’ve been crushing hard on a guy that I haven’t actually even been in the company of for over a year. We are friends on facebook and follow each other on instagram. I’m not going to say where we met because that would limit the options of who I’m talking about to two and while I doubt he reads this blog, I don’t know for sure.

This guy is really sexy in a hot boy next door kinda way. He’s got an athletic, beautiful body and a great looking face without being one of those guys that a woman might say is “too pretty”. From what I know of him he’s good at his job and is doing quite well on the career path. He’s a lovely guy and is a lot of fun. So what’s the problem I hear you all asking? Well, he’s nearly a decade younger than me having not long ago turned 30 which is not an obstacle on his own, but he’s a bit more on the social scene than me but 9 years ago I was too, and I don’t necessarily mean the gay party scene, just bigger nights out than me which is not hard. We also don’t tend to socialise in the same circles. We have interacted on facebook recently but that’s been the extent of our contact and to be honest, when we met last year I got a vibe that he didn’t actually care that much for my company. So WHY am I crushing on him to the point that he was in my dreams the other night?

Let me boil the whole situation down. He intimidates me. Yes, another one. This brings me to my point. I am constantly attracted to people that I have no chance with and am intimidated by. I’m far from the only person that does this. I’ve been having a conversation with separate friends on this exact topic for the last couple of days. Is it the self protection thing again? If I can’t get too close, I can’t get hurt? Maybe. I don’t know, but it’s really frustrating me.