It’s no secret that I have my hangups and a fairly severe lack of confidence at times. Sometimes it’s a little overwhelming and frustrating. I get angry at myself at how insecure I can be. The logical part of me says that I have as much right as anyone to be confident but then other times I just can’t help it. Out of that comes a stunning ability to be intimidated. Why have I got photos of guys like Hugh Jackman, Ryan Kwanten, Liam Magnuson and The Amazing Ari above this post? They are all the kind of guys that intimidate me. They are confident and outgoing, or they appear so, yet none of them seem to be arrogant with it. There are guys I’ve met who are as arrogant as hell who have intimidated me too but that wears off when I realise their arrogance is just their insecurities coming out in a different way, or they are genuinely douchebags. The guys like Hugh, Ryan etc are the ones that really push my buttons at times. Ari is a wonderful guy and such a sweet soul, but even that intimidates me.
Where am I going with this? Well, on Friday night I was out for a friend’s birthday dinner and someone came along that I developed an instant crush on. Yes, he was straight and way out of my league. No surprises there. He’s my friend’s personal trainer, he’s a massage therapist, a nutritionist, a life coach and just as a little something to make sure he’s incredibly busy, he makes and sells chocolates and breads (organic of course) to cafes. He was not only physically stunning, but a totally sweet guy as well and had the most amazing cheeky grin ever. But, for some reason he didn’t intimidate me.
No, he inspired me. This guy had such a zest and zeal for life that you couldn’t help but bask in his enthusiasm for life. The poor guy has just left his wife earlier in the year due to some insurmountable obstacles, he may have to leave the country as he’s not a resident and yet that cheeky smile never left his face. For once, instead of wallowing thinking I’d never end up with someone like that the next day, I was inspired to finish putting together a coffee table book of my photography that I’m hoping to launch at the exhibition in February. I got a whole bunch of things done and I was energised.