I’ve recently mentioned that I’ve been reading some gay erotic fiction online and I have to be honest, I’ve learned lots of things from reading it.

The first thing I’ve learned is that no matter how many years later it is that you run into your high school crush, and no matter how straight he was back in high school, at your school reunion, or when you visit your home town and run into him, he’ll be gay and he’ll have been secretly wanting your reunion to be romantic and wonderful as much as you have.

I’ve also learned that straight guys really are turned into raging homosexuals with the aid of just a few beers and possibly a nice masculinity affirming camping trip. Once they’ve had said beers and slept with you, they will give brief passing thought to their burgeoning lust for cock and it won’t cause them any emotional turmoil and if they are still young enough to be living with their parents, their parents will without doubt accept them with only the most fleeting moments of concern and possibly religious based hesitation. If that straight man you are seducing happens to be your father, he’ll lovingly teach you the ropes about gay sex, because clearly he’s been waiting to do so for years. No, that’s not creepy at all!

One very valuable lesson from reading these stories is that if you are a teacher, doctor or policeman or in any position of power and influence, it’s perfectly acceptable to use that position to seduce a student, patient or indeed a prisoner. Besides, the handcuffs will come in mighty handy later.

Of course there are other incidental lessons to be learned, such as no one ever bothers with condoms, everyone loves being dominated by rugged ranchers who stumble upon their campsite and every person you sleep with with have exactly the same sexual fantasies as you do.

The very most important lesson you will ever learn from reading online fiction is that every one night stand or even passing crush in the street will fall hopelessly in love with you and won’t panic at all when you tell them you are falling head over heels like never before, within two hours of meeting them. They will have a huge penis and testicles the size of tennis balls and the perfect amount of body hair etc to fulfill all of your wildest romantic dreams.

I’m ever so grateful that these lessons come neatly wrapped up in chapters that are easy to read, complete with bad spelling, atrocious grammar and very old fashioned formal descriptions of glans, perenium, manhood, ejaculate and all those other delightfully descriptive words.