With only a handful of weeks to go before I can start training properly again and feeling the most out of shape of my life, I’m finding that it’s impacting other parts of my life. To be perfectly blunt, I haven’t had sex in months. It’s ridiculous. Sydney is full of people sleeping with anything that moves and I can’t get laid. I know that’s partly because I want more than just random sex, although that would go down quite nicely about now. My lack of confidence has always been my biggest problem but it’s worse than ever at the moment.

Due to the lack of sex and feeling unattractive along with having been single again for about 9 months, I’m feeling a bit lonely. My life is really good and I really have nothing to complain about. I have a good job which is secure. I have some fantastic friends. My family is awesome and always there for me. There are times when I just want to share it all with someone. When I get a bit lonely like this and let’s face it, I’ve been single for a very long time apart from a 10 month relationship with the lovely Dan last year, I tend to develop crushes or attractions to people that I might not otherwise. That can be a good thing but it can also be a bad thing. It feels like the desperate needy Brenton is winning out over the sane and rational Brenton, thinking about whether someone would be interested just because they are in front of me instead of just getting along with people and seeing if anything comes along.

There is a guy that I’ve known through friends for a couple of years now and we’ve been in touch for a couple of reasons lately and I’ve always thought he was a nice guy but I’m finding myself tempted to ask him out even though I don’t think we have anything in common. Now I need to work out if I want to ask him out despite all the differences because he’s a nice guy or because I’m lonely.