When one is doing the grocery shopping and perusing the aisles of fresh produce, it is perfectly acceptable to also peruse the fresh meat in the form of other shoppers. Last weekend one was struck by the high percentage of grade A beef on offer in my local supermarket. Especially taken with one fine specimen, I kept finding myself in the same aisle as said specimen and took every opportunity to admire him. One was walking behind this gorgeous specimen admiring his beefy hind quarters, being frightfully discreet of course when all of a sudden one’s trolley was slightly out of control as one hadn’t quite been watching where one was going and was crashing, gently and ever so stylishly, into the shelving directly behind said gorgeous man.

This brings me to the second part of our etiquette lesson for this evening. If one makes a fool of oneself whilst leering, stylishly and politely, at an object of lust, then it is perfectly acceptable for the witnesses of said foolishness to laugh to their heart’s content.