A few months ago I posted about a guy that I had caught up with several times on date-like occasions without them officially being dates, including a really good kiss, but then being friendzoned. If I’m truly honest with myself I always knew he wasn’t really interested but I got my hopes up, stupidly.
At the time he said he was still really hung up and broken up about his ex who he considered the love of his life. I got it, some people leave a huge impression on us for better or worse and it takes a while to get over them. Yet once again, I have just found out that he is kinda seeing someone. Once again it appears that I just wasn’t the right one. Now, my rational brain says that these things happen. Sometimes people just come along and there is a connection that overrides any heartbreak and I just wasn’t that person. Logically speaking I can understand that I probably wasn’t his type, as the ex and the new guy are both quite similar to each other but not to me. I can accept all that when I look at it logically.
I’m not the most logical or rational person when it comes to relationships. I fall and fall hard at times. Right now I feel like yet again I just wasn’t good enough. God knows how many times I’ve found myself in this situation where someone has given me the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech about how they aren’t ready but very soon after they are very much ready and very happy with someone else. Who knows if they’ll last, maybe it’s a rebound thing. Guess what? No matter how many times you get the “it’s not you, it’s me” speech, either literally or implied, it is me. I’m the common denominator in these situations. Either I have the shittiest timing in the world or I’m just not the one, for anyone.