Today marks the three month point in my recovery after the surgery to reattach the tendons in my biceps to the bones. Physically it’s all going very well. I see the surgeon again on Friday afternoon and I’m hoping with all my might that he gives me some exercises to do, even if they are dinky little ones. It’s been interesting how much it’s affected me emotionally.

I wasn’t in great shape before the injury but now that I can’t work out using my arms at all, effectively ruling out all upper body exercise, I feel so out of shape and horrible. My body and I have had an uneasy relationship for years but now we are at an all time low. I am eating better and trying to look after myself and for the first time in my life I’m doing cardio at the gym. I’ve done lots of cardio in my life when I was rowing etc but it was a by-product of the fun I was having, but going for a run isn’t something I’ve ever enjoyed at all.

It’s another 3 months before I can do any weight training or think about going back to circus classes, which I will definitely do. The first time I try and get off the ground at class will scare me, firstly because I will be so weak and secondly because I’ll be terrified that my tendons will just come off again, but the surgeon has assured me that I’ll be able to go back, and I’m dying to.