Yesterday being Valentine’s day, combined with a whole bunch of stress about the state of my injured biceps gave me too much time to think. My flatmate and I had a discussion about how lonely it can feel sometimes even surrounded by good friends.
It’s looking very much like I will have to have surgery to repair my the torn tendons in both my biceps and at this stage I have no idea what that means for time off work, how immobile my arms will be and for how long. Will I have to stay with my parents and have my mother wiping my arse for me at the age of 38? It’s looking likely and very demoralising. If I can somewhat dress myself and look after myself I’ll be much happier than weeks off work being fed, wiped and dressed by my poor mother who wants to do it about as much as I want it done.

So many people are living very busy lives and living them single, often living alone in cities like Sydney. How do they cope if they don’t have family to help out if they are injured like this? If I fell and hurt myself in my apartment and my flatmate wasn’t home, how would I get help? How would I even let them in if I could call someone?

I did warn you I’d had too much time to think yesterday and daytime television in Sydney didn’t help my mood.

The other reality that I’m facing is that I will probably have to push back my exhibition. I need to get everything photographed in the next 6 weeks to get it printed and framed in time for a mid-June opening which, if I can’t use my arms, is not going to happen.
On a positive note, I am hoping for some serious bionic biceps. Not sure if they are on offer but it would be good. Also holding out hope for a hot male nurse who gives good bed bath.