I’m a bad gay. There I said it. Firstly I haven’t had sex in ages so that almost disqualifies me from being gay anyway since what makes me gay is the sex I like to have. Secondly I don’t think that Kylie performing at the Sydney Mardi Gras party is enough to get me to go. Yes, she is my religion and I love seeing her live, but I think even some of the most ardent Catholics can’t be bothered dealing with all the other crazed worshipers to see the Pope.

Sydney’s gay population has just about exploded in glitter bombs of delirium in the past few weeks with Kylie announcing her appearance, Madonna announcing she’ll be here next year and Lady Gaga announcing she’ll be here at the start of her new tour in just a few short months. People are so excited that the holy trinity of homosexual diva icon’s of our time are all blessing us, you’d think they were all going to sit down to tea and bless their butt plugs for them.

It appears that I’m too old and jaded to over come my aversion to the big parties to worship at the alter of Kylie. I just can’t face being squashed into the auditorium that she’ll be in, all night, not sure when she’ll be on, how many songs she’ll do (usually it’s only one or two from a headliner) and even risk being locked out of that auditorium because they close it off to stop it getting too squashed when a performance is on. With an exhibition to fund and a new computer to pay off I certainly can’t justify the $100+ for the ticket for a few minutes of Kylie being drowned out by the mass hysterical glitter incontinence of the rest of the people there.

But then after all that, I’ll probably get carried away and go because I do really love myself some Kylie! In fact just watching this video of her performing at Mardi Gras 14 years ago has got me all excited. The anticipation when people recognise the song and wait for her to appear!!!!