We “the Gays” are right up there with teenage girls at torturing ourselves in my opinion. Do we self harm? Yes. Maybe not in a literal sense of using a broken Avril Lavigne CD to scrape the hurt out of our flesh but definitely in a mental torture way. How? By constantly reaffirming the sense that we are lesser citizens.
Let me explain. We are constantly told by ourselves and others in the gay fraternity that it’s better to be a straight acting gay than a camp gay. It’s better to be a muscle Mary than a twink. It’s better to be a top than a bottom. It’s better to be in an open relationship than a monogamous one. It’s better to one kind of gay over another kind of gay. There is a blog that I drop by most days to read and one of the contributors is going through therapy to “fix” himself of his gay tendencies but also steadfastly refuses to find gay men attractive but is exclusively attracted to straight men. Can we all say “self harming”?
Surely this is the best way to constantly undermine any chance of happiness? By constantly telling yourself that your sexuality is “wrong” and limiting that attraction to people that are fundamentally never going to reciprocate it you make sure that you are never going to live out that “wrong” attraction.
Would it be so bad to accept that maybe we are camp/smooth/bottom/hairy/fat/slim etc and just get on with life? Before we all jump up and down and point out that I was bitching and moaning about being overweight I’ll reiterate that I feel sluggish and unhealthy and that’s why I want to get fit.