Flicking through people’s online profiles and now on Grindr, you make snap decisions on whether they are hookup material from their photo and what they say. Grindr doesn’t allow a whole lot of freedom to get the message across with limited text and one photo. With that in mind, sometimes I find myself asking if some people are really using that space wisely.

Just tonight, three profiles caught my eye, not so much for their photo or their details but the bit of text they’d used to either sell themselves or state what they want. I’m a big fan of witty profiles and making me laugh. Someone who can make me laugh a lot has the advantage any day.

“Love a baseball cap”
Is that an order or a statement? Humping on a baseball cap would be awkward and unsatisfying. It’s oddly specific too. Would a trucker cap do as well?

“If you really want to turn me on take ur singlet off jump in ur ute and eat a paddle pop”
Now I may need to translate for non-aussie slang afficionados. A singlet isn’t a wrestling singlet, it’s a tank top. A ute isn’t some German name, it’s a pickup truck with the tray thing at the back. A paddle pop is an ice cream on a stick which I cannot for the life of me remember what that is called in the U.S.

Once again, it’s a very specific turn on, but I think it’s supposed to mean a rough and ready tradesman with a hot body chilling out with his shirt off? Generally speaking, a pretty hot guy sucking on something in his mouth, but not a turn on for me stated in it’s initial form.

“Get Innocuous!”
Innocuous is an adjective meaning “not harmful or offensive”. Wow, that’s a heady way to describe an anonymous casual sexual encounter. I’m pretty certain they were being ironic and it did make me smile but it was a bit odd.