It is customary when one is writing an online profile to embellish, enhance and perhaps bend the truth. One must resist the urge however to bludgeon the truth to death with the bleeding corpse of your integrity.

There are certain given’s when interpreting an online profile. For instance 38 is really 43, top means very versatile or deeply uptight, versatile means more of a bottom and bottom can be taken to mean that your back end is more accommodating than a Hilton (Hotel or Heiress, either is applicable).

Today’s lesson in etiquette is learning what people will swallow (as in believe, they’ll swallow anything down their throats). Case in point. Today your instructor was talking to a young gentleman on a nudist site whose profile said “Shy straight acting gay guy”. Over the course of the conversation and looking at his photo, that description was reduced to a bleeding mess when I learnt he worked in hospitality, has started a fashion label and has eyebrows Kylie Minogue would envy.

Please students. Try and keep the little white lies little and white not as big as Lindsay Lohan’s delusion and as black as the space between her ears.