Negotiating the minefield of social networking sites and your relationship status is perilous and fraught with danger. Updating too soon can eliminate other options for those that like the greener looking grass just over your partner’s left shoulder. Updating too late can incur the wrath of said partner. Here’s a simple guide on the meaning of your options.

1. Single
Single by definition means you are not betrothed or committed to another and are free to play the field as one desires. As a result, depending on your rate of success with this venture you may have either your clinic or your therapist on speed dial.

2. In a relationship
This status is open to interpretation depending on your age bracket.
If you are under 25 you may choose to use this status 5 minutes after exchanging your first message on grindr. It will subsequently revert back to single after you see the first photo of his mal-formed genitalia.
If you are over 25, your status will generally be changed to “in a relationship” after the first few sexual encounters that do not go horrendously wrong.

3. In a relationship and it’s complicated
This status is applicable when you are dating someone and it’s going well but you can’t seem to stop hooking up with other guys but you haven’t discussed the rules of this with your new paramour.

4. In an open relationship
Following on from the previous status, an open relationship is when you’ve discussed the hooking up with others and it’s approved of. Hence you now have more sex outside the relationship than you do with your partner.

5. In a relationship and it’s complicated
Yes, this one is also used after “open relationship” when arguments have begun because one of you is considerably more popular with outside encounters than the other resulting in hysterics and tantrums. Hence the more successful partner begins understating his conquests but still having them more discreetly.

6. Engaged
This is used amongst gay men purely to confuse the heterosexual community

7. Married
Apparently we aren’t allowed so this one is a mystery I’m afraid.