Last night, one of those phone calls came through that you just don’t want. My mother called to tell me my father was in hospital after what was apparently a very minor heart attack. He’s in really good spirits and is happy to know why he’s been short of breath etc lately.
A friend I went to school with rang me a couple of hours ago. She’s a nurse and has been looking after my dad. According to her, my dad is in a bit of denial. It’s quite a serious coronary event and he’s got more testing to be done.
I’m a little scared. My dad is only in his early 60′s but he and mum aren’t the most disciplined with their diet which is probably where I get it from, and they polish off a bottle of white wine with dinner every night. At least Dad does do a fair bit of bike riding when he’s feeling well. I’m not ready to lose him. He and I have a relationship that is possibly fairly common with fathers and gay sons. We are quite different people but with some overlapping interests and I think quite a bit of mutual respect. It’s my dad that sparked my interest in photography. Some of my earliest memories are of my father swimming out way beyond the surf break at the beach when I was about 7, taking me or my sister with him. The surf could be quite big, but I’ve never felt so safe.
Best wishes Brenton. May your Dad fully recover and live a good life for many more years.
Wish him all the best…
It sounds as if your Dad is in good hands, with people who care about him. I’m sure, and certainly hope, that he will pull through and live a full life for many more years. Take care! J
hope he’ll be fine. try to encourage him by telling him about those nice memories.
My dad, about the same age, was very recently diagnosed with cancer. I won’t pretend to know exactly what you’re feeling because we all process this sort of thing differnetly, but I do understand.
((hugs))
Brenton, I’m sorry to hear about your father.
I’m saying a prayer for you and your father. I can’t imagine losing either of my parents either…so I feel what you are saying!
Brenton, this is a wake up call! Encourage your parents to make the needed life style changes. Also, I hope you can take the opportunity to tell you dad what you told us…sweet, loving words about your love and appreciation for him and all the wonderful memories you have of him.
Probably the best thing I and my dad ever did together was to take a backpack trip around Europe in 1996. I can’t tell you how many times he has thanked me for that trip, since I was more or less the instigator. He was 59, I was 33. Unfortunately I wasn’t out at the time so we never talked about gay related things, which might have been helpful.
For me it was a once in a lifetime event. I’m sad that I haven’t done more things like that with him, but so happy that at least I have one beautiful adult-adult memory that is also so meaningful to him.
Brenton, thankfully you still have time to make some good memories with you Father!
My prayers are with your Dad, you and your family! With help he will be O.K.! God Bless!
Thinking of you, BP! I remember several such unfortunate phone calls and they are never pleasant. Good thoughts for you and yoru family.
Hi, Brenton. I’ve never posted on your blog before (even though I’ve been a visitor for a while). Just to say, I hope everything works out for you, and I totally know what you must be going through.
My Dad’s not quite 60, but 3 years ago he was in exactly the same situation. I woudn’t say he was the most active guy in the world, then, or now. But he’s always enjoyed gardening, and walks and stuff – nothing to suspect that he would ever become suddenly ill.
One weekend, he went to a party with some of the partners from work. He came home, and basically spent the whole of Sunday feeling very unwell. So, Monday morning, he goes to the doctors. Next thing I know, Mum’s ringing me to say he’s had a heart attack, and is being rushed to hospital. :S
So we got there, and it was a huge relief – he was still there, in the same clothes he left home in, and just sitting in the reception bed – waiting for the tests, and the coronary care bed to come up. He got moved to the coronary care unit the same afternoon. He spent 2 weeks in hospital, but only about 5 days in the CCU – he’d been incredibly lucky.
Right away, the docs told us that diet was the key to fixing the problem. That, and staying on the meds. So my folks did exactly that. It’s even given Dad a new interest in cooking – everything we eat is home made now!! Well, almost everything.
So try not to worry too much about things. Just try and take in what the docs are advising, and everything should be OK.
Hope this helps. :)
Oh, and if you, or anyone you know suffers severe chest pains,
call 000 / 999 / 911 IMMEDIATELY.
The sooner you get treated, the quicker, and better you’ll recover.
Let’s hope it goes OK.
I am indeed sorry you have to go through this chapter in your life, but life WILL go on…….
Having been there and done that, PLEASE consider this a “gift” from the universe actually, a kind of wake up call for you father and indeed yourdelf as you carry these genes. He can survive this, MANY MANY do. BUT his health conditions must change. All his choice, all his decisions depending on his oulook on life. I wish you well on this journey and find the peace you need.
Doc Bruce
Your dad, mum, and you will be in our prayers. I’m glad to hear it was not more serious.
About 9 years ago I had a mild heart attack, received a stent, and was in the hospital 2 nights. Since then I have changed my diet (fat free milk, little red meat, little to no animal fat, etc.) Plus I have been in an exercise program 3 times a week (on my 955 session). It’s not the end, it’s a wake up call. Take the meds as prescribed, and watch your diet, and exercise, and life will go on. Wish you Dad well, and encourage him to make these simple changes. It is not hard.