On friday night at one of the Skinnydipping group’s dips, a friend that I haven’t seen in several months turned up. I knew he’d been training hard through facebook updates and some new photos, but when he turned up he looked incredible. He’s been training 7 days a week doing weights, martial arts, cross-fit and other bits and pieces.
Why is it that some people are so good at finding the motivation and discipline to do that kind of training? Does it come from their own set of insecurities or maybe a form of obsessive compulsion? Sadly my obsession seems to be with skipping the gym and eating badly. Two or three years ago I was even handed the best motivation to get in shape in the form of a photo shoot for aussieBum and that apparently still wasn’t enough.
Should I hang around with these motivated people more? Probably not. My flatmate is another disciplined guy and after sharing with him since July, still no luck. I’m genuinely fascinated as to why some people have this kind of mind set and why others (ie me) do not. Any trainers out there willing to offer advice in this realm, feel free to comment with said advice.
Personally, i think it’s very important to be healthy, and look the best that you can. However, there are other important things in life, such as work, friendship, love, being creative, resting, spirituality, having fun, and other passions to also focus on! You can’t do all of those things if you’re at the gym 7 days a week :)
I agree with Jarrod. Life is a balance. I love running, but to do training for a marathon, for instance, I have to write down my whole training schedule for 18 weeks in advance in my diary and then set my alarm each morning I am running to follow the schedule. (Definitely NOT every day – that is too much) Sometimes, I don’t want to get up, but I know that I must follow the schedule and, importantly, I know that I will feel better after the run.
For you and the gym, try this for a week or two and “treat” yourself on your days off by sleeping “late” or having another little luxury. Then, when you start to see the benefits from the gym work you want, you will naturally continue.
I totally understand your frustration. I have learned that I am very good when the motivation comes from external sources, and I’m doing something which helps someone else. But when I need to be self motivated and do something to make positive changes for myself, there is just zero motivation or follow through.
I have always wished I had a beautiful body, but I find exercising in credibly boring and, being blessed with the skinny gene, I never see result or have been able to keep it up long enough to see them.
Then the last time I thought I was going to get serious about working out, I tore my medial meniscus and had to have knee surgery. That put an end to that!
My story is probably no help to you, but you might want to look at the pattern of the things you do seem to have motivation and follow through on, and the ones you don’t. I think it has to do with the value we place on ourselves in some way, but I’m not sure how to change that, if we don’t value ourselves like we should. Just some thoughts.
If you spend 7 days a week in the gym you have a problem with you mental health not physical, unless you are a model or training for the Olympics. Eat healthy, exercise enough to stay healthy and live a balanced life. You will be happier.
I may just be lucky that I’m able to be very disciplined. I enjoy getting up in the morning and I set a routine for myself that I always follow. I get up and go to the gym first thing. It’s not up for debate. Knowing that I’m doing something good for myself is the best reward.
Still, you are a very handsome man with a wonderful body and you should learn to appreciate and enjoy it. Be kinder to your self.
I agree with Tango, you are a very handsome man with an amazing body. I must however disagree with Chris in that it is a mental problem. As a personal trainer, I wish more people took better care of their bodies. Maintaining a healthy body, results in a healthy mind and this should not be deemed a problem.
I find that I force myself to go to the gym, (it does help that I work in one), but Im certainly not disciplined with the eating, sleeping etc that goes with trying to build the “perfect” body.
If I ensure that I workout when I get a spare hour or two, I feel that the results will come, subject to my genetics of course. That being said, having been consciously doing this for a while, I have found that if I miss a day or two, I dont feel right and find myself back in the gym.
Something is better than nothing.
Remember too that Aerial Silks is a form of strength training. It may be that you are doing more than you actually think you are, so hence, the discipline (albeit not in the same forms as other peoples) is actually there.
Wherever you find motivation and whatever form of physical training results from this, it is better than leading a sedentry lifestyle.
I think your body is fine the way it is, you have a good body. So do I, so why should we work our asses off to look like gym rats? I don’t work out because I’m okay with how I look, do I want to look better? Sure. From the pics I’ve seen of you, your body is great also, hmmm….so why mess with something that works? I think it comes down to the guys who work out so much, don’t have a naturally good bod. Insecurity. :) TGD
p.s. And if your body is all work out results, then keep it up but if you can eat what you want when you want, then love the metabolism. :)
Get a workout partner. A friend of mine at the gym suggested we start lifting weights together in lieu of him paying for a trainer, and I thought it was a great idea. Knowing someone is waiting for you at the gym and is depending on you to help them forces you to show up! Its created a regular workout routine and schedule for both of us (as long as work and life cooperate) and we’re both passing our plateau. We’re both in better shape and pushing each other to get to the next level. Its great.
I have not read any responses to the original post, so if I am repeating concepts put forward by others, apologies. In my capacity as a former sports coach and now executive lifestyle coach (call it what you will), there is a response to “I’m genuinely fascinated as to why some people have this kind of mind set and why others (ie me) do not.”
If an individual has a goal, then it is the goal that generates the discipline as the goal becomes an objective. The path to reaching a goal, destination or realising an objective is through strategies: of which training, diet and focus comprise the key ones. There are those in the sports and dietary sciene industry who will argue that there is no such thing as a “mind set” and I tend to agree with them. It is about having a goal that can be visualised (previous photograph, a particular piece of clothing, or just a realistic ‘minds eye’ of what an individual wants) which in turn can be realised by putting in place strategies to reach the goal, and adjusting life’s priorities to do so.
There you go: have a goal; identify the strategies; and consider your priorities. Parting advice: be realistic.
My advice would be to find something in the fitness arena you love doing, whether it’s running, swimming, weightlifting, etc. And approach that activity as a blessing that you are grateful you can do, rather than a grim duty that you force yourself to submit to in hopes of looking better/losing weight/meeting people, etc. I started long-distance running when I was 45 and have thoroughly enjoyed it. The fact that I’ve lost some flab, feel better, look better, and have a whole lot more energy is a great side benefit. I’ve now added yoga with the same effect. I’m not as buff and built as a lot of the guys you picture on here, but so what…I do fine in the meeting-other-people category, in large part because the fitness routine has made me feel a lot better about myself in every respect.
Well, wherever you find the motivation, please point me in that direction! I just spent 17 days house/dog sitting, 99% of the time on the couch, on the computer, eating M&Ms! Never gained a pound, thankfully…metabolism…but really wish I could motivate myself to work out. Even having the equipment right here in my house doesn’t help! Pathetic! A free gym…8 miles away…seems like so far to go!
Did I mention pathetic?!
^^X^^
heard it all before from you Mr Brenton – “my bodies so crap but I still manage to do promo work dressed in nothing but a sailor cap and a pair of aussiebums swimwear, oh and did I mention that I was in the Mardi Gras parade in nothing but red speedos?” Parry!
maybe the reason that you dont have the motivation is cos you secretly reckon you look hot enough as you are and dont really see the need to slave away after someone elses idea of perfection cos youre really not so bad with your gear off anyway!
either that or youre just plain lazy dude!!!
xxx
Cam
I can’t say why some people have motivation and others do not (I lack it, for sure), but I think people who are 100% dedicated to the gym are living a life out of balance. Having a fantastic body may be a cool goal and would be awesome to achieve, but it will not make someone more happy and I believe many guys who work out 24×7 do so because their self worth is entirely based on it. Not healthy.