It’s long accepted that there is a man-drought in Sydney. People that want to date, can never find a man. The straight girls think all the men are gay, the gay men think all the men are straight and both camps agree that all the good ones are taken.

Never fear, being the detective that I am, I’ve gotten to the bottom of this dilemma and hopefully now we’ll come up with some preventative measures or perhaps legislation to combat the problem.

The lesbians are stealing the men. I hear the sceptics and nay-sayers from here all tut-tutting this absurd theory, but it’s true! Two of the lesbians I know are both currently shagging men, one of them making a detour to sample some pre-op tranny cock on the way to her current male shag. The other one is even now calling her shag “boyfriend”. I think it’s outrageous! There’s barely enough cock to go around all the people that really like it as it is, let alone with these part-timers and wannabe’s squatting on valuable real estate.

How would they feel if we started snatching up all the vaginas, so to speak? They’d be disgusted and you wouldn’t walk outside for fear of a carefully aimed birkenstock hitting you in the head, thrown from a passing motorbike!

Please note: all stories contained within are true, moral outrage is highly sarcastic. At least someone’s getting some cock.