This weekend I headed down the south coast of NSW with my family to go to my cousin’s 21st birthday. Friday night, after we’d all settled in and my Dad was long asleep, my mother my sister and I sat up chatting about all sorts of things. I had no intention of bringing up my meltdown last week or the things I felt like I needed to hear from my mother but over the course of a couple of hours somehow, very naturally and organically, we ended up there.
Basically the disappointment and disapproval I had thought I felt from my mother was actually love and concern and worry that I was going to be ok. My mother is from a generation and environment that doesn’t understand homosexuality, like a lot of parents, and somewhere between me coming out nearly ten years ago and friday night, we’d developed a great divide between what we thought and what the other was feeling. To say it was a relief is a huge understatement.
Having my sister there also helped. She’s definitely somewhere between my mother and I in terms of her thinking. She’s more conservative than me but more liberal than my mother. She helped my mother understand a couple of things that she misunderstood.
Now that I’m on the road to a better place, I’m thinking it’s time for a bit more therapy to help myself along a bit more. Let’s see if I can’t shake these demons a bit more.