Comments on: Would you or could you? http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/ Thu, 09 Feb 2012 15:01:53 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: loosidnyc http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4334 loosidnyc Tue, 08 Sep 2009 17:45:45 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4334 it really depends on you're looking to date or be a partner with a person or a diagnosis... and knowing a person's status in now way implies that you KNOW the person. getting to know your-self first will help you make the right relationship decisions and resole your own insecurities, fears and personal issues you're mirroring on someone else. it really depends on you’re looking to date or be a partner with a person or a diagnosis… and knowing a person’s status in now way implies that you KNOW the person. getting to know your-self first will help you make the right relationship decisions and resole your own insecurities, fears and personal issues you’re mirroring on someone else.

]]> By: Liam http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4331 Liam Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:22:50 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4331 I am neg (I hope -- I go for testing in a few weeks) and would only date a neg man. I have psychological issues around health, so I would be an emotional mess thinking I could seroconvert at any time if I was regularly having sex with a poz guy. (Case in point, I recently had a very safe encounter with someone who later told me is poz -- I am terrified of my next HIV test to the point of obsession. I am literally counting the days. Yes, I receive help for this problem I have.) For me, dating a poz guy would not be healthy for me psychologically. To further complicate things (and I don't suspect this is typical of your readers), but I am a single dad of 2 little kids. My need to stay fully healthy goes beyond my own body. I am neg (I hope — I go for testing in a few weeks) and would only date a neg man. I have psychological issues around health, so I would be an emotional mess thinking I could seroconvert at any time if I was regularly having sex with a poz guy. (Case in point, I recently had a very safe encounter with someone who later told me is poz — I am terrified of my next HIV test to the point of obsession. I am literally counting the days. Yes, I receive help for this problem I have.) For me, dating a poz guy would not be healthy for me psychologically.

To further complicate things (and I don’t suspect this is typical of your readers), but I am a single dad of 2 little kids. My need to stay fully healthy goes beyond my own body.

]]> By: ShuShoo http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4328 ShuShoo Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:02:58 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4328 What an interesting question! When I was younger (not even 21!), I thought I was down with an HIV+ dx for a potential paramour, because that was VERY common for the older men population that I so deeply desired. SO, I dated guys regardless of their sero-status, as long as we always fucked with a condom. AND THEN, I met a guy who was POZ, who REALLY lurved me. Trouble was, he was a MAJOR pre-cummer, and didn't want to wear a condom during oral sex. Add to that his story that he "got" HIV from oral sex, and I was just totally freaked! What if his strain of HIV was more easily transmitted via oral means? I ended the relationship, badly (one of my VERY few regrets in life, but I was also VERY young). Upside was that I learned to insist on condoms even during oral sex (and yes, I know that is less enjoyable). What an interesting question! When I was younger (not even 21!), I thought I was down with an HIV+ dx for a potential paramour, because that was VERY common for the older men population that I so deeply desired. SO, I dated guys regardless of their sero-status, as long as we always fucked with a condom. AND THEN, I met a guy who was POZ, who REALLY lurved me. Trouble was, he was a MAJOR pre-cummer, and didn’t want to wear a condom during oral sex. Add to that his story that he “got” HIV from oral sex, and I was just totally freaked! What if his strain of HIV was more easily transmitted via oral means? I ended the relationship, badly (one of my VERY few regrets in life, but I was also VERY young). Upside was that I learned to insist on condoms even during oral sex (and yes, I know that is less enjoyable).

]]> By: Richard http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4315 Richard Sat, 05 Sep 2009 23:45:11 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4315 Hi guys - I agree with Ulo. I'm amazed that neg men won't date pos men - how can they really know. In my experience it was never discussed in teh bar, or club or in teh taxi on the way to his place! Any new relationship/shag (whatever) should be on the assumption that they could be positive. Rubbers help to stop the spread of far more than just HIV and should always be used unless you're 100% sure. I've been with the same guy for 12 years now. He's positive and I'm not. Although it was an issue to start with (psychologically), sex has never been anything but fantastic and very, very safe! He's probably healthier than I am and althoug there is a degree of unceratainty and his HIV may 'get him some day', I may get hit by a bus! Don't let an HIV label get in the way - love the man, not a disease. And play safe!! Hi guys – I agree with Ulo. I’m amazed that neg men won’t date pos men – how can they really know. In my experience it was never discussed in teh bar, or club or in teh taxi on the way to his place! Any new relationship/shag (whatever) should be on the assumption that they could be positive. Rubbers help to stop the spread of far more than just HIV and should always be used unless you’re 100% sure.
I’ve been with the same guy for 12 years now. He’s positive and I’m not. Although it was an issue to start with (psychologically), sex has never been anything but fantastic and very, very safe! He’s probably healthier than I am and althoug there is a degree of unceratainty and his HIV may ‘get him some day’, I may get hit by a bus! Don’t let an HIV label get in the way – love the man, not a disease. And play safe!!

]]> By: Ulo http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4314 Ulo Sat, 05 Sep 2009 21:49:25 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4314 Hey Brenton so far i am stunned at the results which currently show mostly that Neg Men will only Date Neg .................it makes me curious as to what the real thinking behind this is, is it,They fear an uncertain future? they fear their own judgements and slip from SAFE sex??? Or is it an attitude about what Gay Poz Man represents????, i am Confused ...........I have dated Both neg and Poz, and found the Poz men equally satisfiying in every way including the Latex barrier, as when it comes to sex I treat ALL men as Positive all the time and The latex STAYS. Hey Brenton so far i am stunned at the results which currently show mostly that Neg Men will only Date Neg ……………..it makes me curious as to what the real thinking behind this is, is it,They fear an uncertain future? they fear their own judgements and slip from SAFE sex??? Or is it an attitude about what Gay Poz Man represents????, i am Confused ………..I have dated Both neg and Poz, and found the Poz men equally satisfiying in every way including the Latex barrier, as when it comes to sex I treat ALL men as Positive all the time and The latex STAYS.

]]> By: jay http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4312 jay Sat, 05 Sep 2009 17:33:11 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4312 Boy i've missed this blog while i've been away, i thought we were about to get a hot story of what happened between you two. Oh well. Very interesting question, and while i'm only starting to date, i couldn't see myself dating someone or even hooking up with someone I knew was positive. j Boy i’ve missed this blog while i’ve been away, i thought we were about to get a hot story of what happened between you two. Oh well. Very interesting question, and while i’m only starting to date, i couldn’t see myself dating someone or even hooking up with someone I knew was positive.

j

]]> By: Bill http://www.aussielicious.com.au/2009/09/05/would-you-or-could-you/#comment-4311 Bill Sat, 05 Sep 2009 06:15:32 +0000 http://www.aussielicious.com.au/?p=1819#comment-4311 Hey friend. I do enjoy your blog, and it's fun to compare life in Sydney and your lovely surroundings with my region, central Indiana. The green, lush, dediduous trees, lots of clean water (but not really the oceans or Great Lakes of the U.S. We like Obama, but increasingly, we're starting to count the disappointing or bad choices he has been involved with....and it's getting a bit concerning. Lord knows we can not go back...anyway, I DO love your site, and want to encourage an open mind when evaluating the neg/poz question. Hey friend. I do enjoy your blog, and it’s fun to compare life in Sydney and your lovely surroundings with my region, central Indiana. The green, lush, dediduous trees, lots of clean water (but not really the oceans or Great Lakes of the U.S. We like Obama, but increasingly, we’re starting to count the disappointing or bad choices he has been involved with….and it’s getting a bit concerning. Lord knows we can not go back…anyway, I DO love your site, and want to encourage an open mind when evaluating the neg/poz question.

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